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i feel like i could have written this. i can't offer you much advice but i just want you to know that i am right there with you and this made me feel less alone as well.
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Not to be that vegan but I’m curious to why you guys wouldn’t go plant based?
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Jesus, you guys too? I thought it was just my depression.
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I don’t think I’ve ever related to a post more than this lol. I lose everything. Just this morning my husband wakes me up at like 5am while he’s getting ready for work cause he can’t find his belt. I did same thing as you. He gave up and starts getting ready to leave. I go check the bathroom. He says it’s definitely not in there, he got changed downstairs and he already looked. I look in bathroom and for some reason it fell behind the linen tower thing. I felt the same way. Something I’m good at
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People might open it, or grab it for inspection then put it back. In this case you are justified.
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And here I was feeling silly for worrying about all of that and not the pandemic. Hang in there y'all.
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I'm raging. I got a major haircut, shaved my beard, and felt handsome for the first time in months. I had also just gotten a good paying job after being unemployed.
Then lockdown happened.
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I’m in the process of getting diagnosed at the minute. A big part of why I never thought I could possibly have ADHD was because I did so well in school.
But, now I’ve been out of school and working for about a year in a job that, thankfully, allows to have music or videos playing in the background to keep me working at a decent pace. However, I know I want to move up into more difficult, higher paid work pretty soon where I wouldn’t be able to use these coping mechanisms, and that really worries me.
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THANK YOU!! I was wondering why a top 5 was an artist I listened to for 2 weeks out of the year
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OOF this was me last night. Kept YouTube on in the background because Bad Thoughts TM.
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Everytime I have a dumbass thought like that my mind instantly thinks of the joe Biden “will you shut up man?” Meme
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I have a similar thing happen to me but it only happens when being out on the spot or having to explain my thought process (Also fuck people asking me to explain my thought process) behind certain actions. This really bites me in the ass when I am being asked to explain something at work or my partner puts me on the spot because I can explain a thought process that I already forgot...
Most of the time I am a wizard with words, just can't explain how I got to an answer.
I am loving this group so far because I had not thought what was happening to me was a symptom of my adhd but as I real more I am learning more and more about this and how it affects me and others.
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It's 113 degrees where I live today. I ain't taking my meds today and I ain't doing shit today. Thanks though.
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If you can even make it a few moments, I applaud you. Takes me about 2 seconds to start questioning myself.
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For me after I get over I guess the obsession, or things get better, I panic that things will get bad again and that good things don’t last...
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Frustration fuels me to do things but if i'm in a genuinely comfortable headspace(Eg I already started an assignment or I am close to my goal weight/body), I start putting things off. To work on them, I try to motivate myself by thinking about how I will feel when I actually complete what needs to be done. Easier said than done of course. I try to guilt trip myself a little as well e.g. I tell myself "you are already struggling to keep your grades where you want them to be at. Do you want to be a failure? Do you want to feel rejected? Do you want to feel like you could have done better when you clearly chose not to?" And lol after that whole cycle, I kinda grumpily get to it hahaha.
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I have a poetry series called Intrusion. The poems are composed entirely out of unedited intrusive thoughts with no narrative to them.
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I definitely relate. I have spent years trying to overcome some of the more embarrassing traits but there are so many that are just me.
Life is difficult when you have so many obstacles that you don't know how to fix. But as someone who is 2 or 3 times older than you I am proof that you can do it.
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My ADHD friend and I have this conversation a lot. I think there's something about ADHD folk that enhances the feeling of "this person is being positive solely to put on a shit eating grin and help their own attitude, not mine". I see no reason to be fake about your levels of motivation especially when dealing with an executive function disorder. Being honest about my current attitudes is a way more satisfying way to live, imo. Being fake helps nothing and promotes delusion. Maybe I'm too glass half empty, idk.
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And I giggle as I have just gone to my feshly made bed the sheets of which were washed in sanitiser, after scrubbing every wall and touchable surface in my house.
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I always kid myself that I could perjure myself in court even when 100% innocent. That's how much of an issue my memory is for me.
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Sometimes but I also turned on closed captions, so I read those and find I like having them on so i HAVE to focus.
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You entered workforce? Im stuck in between school and working atm lol
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Oh wow. That really explains the hardest thing for me.
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Relatable. I wonder what causes thought downward spiral.
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After dealing with what I thought was just anxiety (I always thought something was wrong more wrong then others but my ocd made me constantly doubt myself and think I was being dramatic) I have finally gotten into therapy just when I was about to deny needing help again. I got diagnosed with ocd and depression after the first session and I am overwhelmed with how much of my life has been taken from this but also so excited to maybe stop this vicious cycle I’ve been in from age of grade 5 to now as a 20 year old. Also realizing it’s not my fault and that voice in my head isn’t true is a huge relief
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Totally. It's the only way for me to see my way to completion of something. I need to know the ins and outs. Some bosses like it, others hate it, lol.
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Last night I was so fed up of feeling the same way that out of desperation I decided to make my breakfast the night before (bowl of cut fruit, peanut butter, weetabix) and put it in the fridge. Somehow knowing all I had to do was pour milk got me out of bed this morning and straight down to the kitchen to eat. My day went so much better as a result and I even took a walk before work! Ok I’ve stayed up too late but I’m going to make my breakfast again now before I go to bed. Posting in case this helps anyone else.
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Thank you for this 💖 definitely going to try them all. I feel awful on med holidays, I’ll try skipping them.
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Oh man the gay and trans OCD is real. I’m straight and a cis gendered female but I’ve been all around the rainbow due to my OCD.
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I don’t even take breaks from meds on weekends bc it makes me feel EXTRA useless and reminds me how bad I am at life without it. Productive weekends, productive workdays, productive life.
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Exactly! Whenever I’m trying to enjoy something my ocd gets triggered so i have to pause whatever i’m doing to clear my mind and it’s so frustrating.
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This is very true. Knowing why also helps me recognize what to look out for in case the situation changes, rather than being a mindless drone that’s not trained to adapt.
How else do people expect a job to be done well if the person doing it doesn’t even fully understand what’s going on?
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I may regret this but I liked this so much I shared this on my Facebook.
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And then it all just builds up and up and gets worse. Why is this too true
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The only thing this does is further promote stigma that ocd is all about order. This doesn’t help us.
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I have a similar issue. I had my partner fill out [this](https://www.amazon.com/dp/1601064934/ref=dp_iou_view_product?ie=UTF8&th=1) little book. I keep it in my purse. I have only looked a couple of the pages so far. I save it for when I really need it. Just knowing it there is usually enough.
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Like when you try to explain that you could bring that bottle of water with all your physical power lmao, but the fear of losing control is more prevalent in that moment.
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for browser tabs:
I use vivaldi (the internet browser) and you can stack tabs. So it'll look like I only have 4 tabs open but when I mouse over them I get a preview of all the links in it. So if I'm working on a project I stack tabs related to that. If I get distracted and want to look up how to take care of my plants, I open a tab and start stacking plant ones. Then when I flip flop on them it's not so hellish. Also with vivaldi you can x out or shut down your computer and it'll still save your workspace.
​
for photos:
honestly need to take a full day to do this or pay a trusted friend
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I'm literally doing that right now... it sucks so hard.
For weeks I've spent almost all my time in this void of anxiety, stress, and nothingness. Can't enjoy my weekdays, can't enjoy my weekends, can't enjoy anything - I'm just in a constant state of "getting ready" to do what I have to do. I hate it.
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Just started this medicine been spending too much time trying to manage this myself without help.
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Like honestly my whole life i knew that ADHD exists but i thought it's on for the hyperactive kids and only a year ago or so i found out that its not only the hyperactive kids being affected by this. It should be renamed because for a lot of people like me, they wouldn't even think about it affecting them.
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I remember asking for a day off because I had a doctor appointment, and my boss asked me "your appointment is 7 hours long? You can work at 4 pm." I had to invent that I the appointment was a medical procedure so he won’t make me work, but in reality, it was just a simple doctor appointment. For me if I’m working in the afternoon, I can’t do anything before that.
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Once when I was visiting my dad, immediately upon walking in the door he said he hasn't seem his wallet in three weeks. Right next to the front door is a tall hutch, I reached up and grabbed his wallet and handed it to him.
"How did you known it was there?" His mind was blown.
I told him years of practice.
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Oh my god this was me when I was a child that’d never even kissed anyone 😂 full panic like ???
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Me, everytime something good happens: "you are a piece of shit. You don't deserve this"
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I would like to share a good moment but these days have been extra hard. I feel like crying when I feel these thoughts in my brain. I'm a university student and I still live with my parents and my siblings. My family is wonderful, I had a great childhood. I am a content person. But I also have a aunt with severe depression and OCD. I stayed with my aunt and my late grandmother after school because my parents were both working full time. Me and my brother developed at the age of 7-8 some forms of OCD and I think that being in contact with someone who already had this type of disorder influenced greatly our behavior. I don't like being touched by people, I get anxious, even angry if they do, or touch my clothes or things. I also hate when my mom does my laundry and I have to rewash my underwear because I feel like it's dirty for being in the same pile of clean clothes of the other people in my family. I hate when people touch my bed or any of the furniture in my bedroom. I don't touch door knobs with my bare hands before going to bed and I use my foot to close doors. I don't like touching the light switches in my house too.
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I used to do this until I was about 13 years old and then I was able to suppress it. About 2 years ago I adopted a cat and I’m right back to it. It’s been rough. I find myself checking for “dangerous” things in my apartment multiple times before I leave in the morning... is the oven off? Toaster unplugged? Windows locked? It never ends.
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Congrats! You look awesome. I know about how things like this can impact how we view ourselves and hope that you are able to be happier now :)
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Nope, I'll just get paralyzed and spend the next several hours not knowing what to do until I inevitably leave while hating myself for reasons I dont understand.
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Yeah, I totally understand this. Not only do I have to deal with a swirling blizzard of incomplete thought fragments, but you also start to feel like a caged animal and the cage is your own mind. Everybody else is outside that cage looking in, you try to talk to them but all they hear is some sort of random bleating that makes no sense to them, so they just shrug their shoulders and move on. It's not their fault for not understanding, nor is it yours for having your condition, it just really sucks, because you believe deep down that no one (not even your Therapist), will truly understand you. I read posts on here and I find that I often get envious of others because of being able to articulate what's going on, it's a gift that gets taken for granted.
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This actually gives me anxiety. Just have them all assorted in a bag like they normally are.
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I relate to this allot. It’s kind of like my brain is always tired, until it’s WIRED. and it’s rlly on wired at weird times and for special interests. Other than that it’s like there’s a constant fog.
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I have tons of screenshots too...screenshot to remember something..never to look at again 🤣
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In my experience, Siberian rhodiola helps when we try to resist ocd thoughts. Without rhodiola ignoring ocd thoughts is very challenging. Caffeine multiplies ocd thoughts and anxiety.
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"cheer up" has to be one of the most rage-inducing "positive" thing you can say to someone. I feel like everyone here has had that same type of ignorant, half-assed "caring" given to them growing up. ADHD isn't something a non-ADHD person can accurately simulate. So there's an empathy gap there that can't really be bridged. It's also a "trendy" disorder that's often misappropriated to explain regular human behavior. When you treat a legitimate disorder as a social/learning qualifier, non-afflicted people won't take it seriously. Austism probably has that same reaction in people. Although, I'd say because of the debilitating levels of autism as compared to those with ADHD, those who aren't as (for lack of a better word) afflicted by it, it's easier to dismiss their real issues.
We just put up with a lot of ignorance about things that directly affected us as individuals, so we don't give it back to each other because we know what each other is going through. Plus, I wouldn't be surprised of there's a link between autism and ADHD.
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Depending on where you are you can seek services through an emergency room. If you are in the US they can put you in contact w/ no cost services. Even urgent care can do this. Mental health services tend to prioritize those with severe mental illness. I hope everyone receives the help they need.
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Autistic person or parent of autistic child: seeks out any shred of support
The world: YOU HATE AUTISTIC PERSONS
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This gives me the warm fuzzies just knowing others have felt this way too and that none of us are alone. That’s my internal experience too, a longing feeling of if only people took the time to see people better and realize that for some people, it’s just not a straightforward trajectory from feeling to thought to action.
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My most absurd obsession was to drink only water for ~year because I was afraid "possiblity" of getting cancer, if I drink somethig else. Before or after this obsession I have very similar — I used to drink only apple juice.
I was a few years old then. Currently i don't have such strong obsessions.
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When someone says “dude just stop washing your hands”
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New to reddit and I’m so glad I joined this sub!!!!Needed to see this, I’ve been scrolling Reddit to put off going to sleep :)
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I’m honestly having the hardest time believing this. My HOCD feels way too genuine and too real. I don’t have attraction to women anymore and my attraction to men feels exactly like how the attraction to women used to feel.
For me this spiral started when I imagined the attraction towards women switch with the fake attraction towards men. It started as an intrusive thought but then became curiosity, making me think “hmmm... this is cool, I can switch this it’ll probs go back to normal anyway” but it didn’t.. it’s been 7 months
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"Haha you have a nice things in your life? Here, lemme show you how you could fuck it all up."
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&!&$@%#¥ you caught me.
Consider myself logged off. Thank you, dear mister.
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Yeah, I Hate to point out the obvious and I get the message but OCD / germophobia are different in that they deduct significant amounts of time and hinder productivity. It is a good idea during a pandemic to wash your hands more often, however being "OCD" about it where you're spending 80% of your time doing that is probably not great either.
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This hits too close to home.
[I made my own version of this meme.](https://i.imgur.com/zf1s4hq.png)
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Yea I do stuff on this level and it spooks me sometimes.
A few minutes ago I needed to walk about 6 steps to put a pen back in a drawer. By the time I got there, my mind was somewhere else and my autopilot just started opening and closing every drawer in reach and not even knowing what I was searching for. Then I snapped out of it and was like "what am I doing?" Because I know exactly where the pen goes - in the top drawer.
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The term “OCD about...” fucking pisses me off and sets off *MY* OCD. These people need to shut the fuck up and go educate themselves on the topic.
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Holy shit. This is happening in one of my classes between me and the professor. I’m trying to get a time extension on the quizzes and tests and prof keeps refusing. So I went through our disability resource center and guess what she does? Shortens the quiz for the whole class to 1/3 of the original time and gives me 1.5x time, effectively cutting the time I used to have in HALF! Arghsjkxjei I wish I could just send her this.
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I made myself a dermatologist appointment for a skin exam. I have to get in the habit of getting a skin exam since I'm very pale and a redhead (which is a risk factor by itself apparently). My moles are on areas of my body where they're hard for me to observe so I need a third party lmao
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Yep. I can't do anything except sleep and be miserable the whole day, then my thoughts start to race with everything I should have done and have ever done at night so I can't sleep. And the cycle continues until I'm a sleep-deprived zombie...
It sucks when I realize that'll be my whole life, so I try not to think about it.
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I get the same reaction as you. Literally just yesterday my mom called MHMR cause I was beating myself and the lady said that if I wanted my mom to talk to the doctor that “I was an adult” (sarcastic voice). At the time I was in my room alone and my mom was in their with me on the phone with the lady and she said if me going out to be with everybody would help and (I know you don’t FEEL like going out there but if I could just do it despite the way I was feeling (sarcastic voice). Instantly I got angry, upset and shut down.
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Obviously we're just using it wrong. I mean, I use it to write stuff on I have to do but I never tried grinding it to a powder and snorting it. Or smoking it, or injections???
Hopefully unnecessary /s
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I never had a cool life with cute girls fighting over something silly. Why was my youth so boring?
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I think my favorite response was what someone said to me. A girl with OCD that I was hanging out with was cleaning the lip of her water bottle every time she drank from it and I (totally blanking that other people have compulsions) asked what she was doing. She just flatly said, "It's called OCD." And I was just like, "oh, crap, duh, I have it too." But now I just think if someone makes a comment about my compulsions or obsessions, I'll just deadpan and very flatly say, "It's called OCD, \[name\]."
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... wait, is this a typical trait of people with OCD?
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No tf it isn't. I've dealt with suicidal depression before and I'd still take that over the sheer agony OCD has caused me
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Yeeeeaaahhh I literally apologized to my therapist because I felt bad taking up so much time talking during our session. I knew it was a ridiculous thing to do but I couldn’t help myself
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Right? It feels so infantilising. There's an app that helps me a lot, but it's marketed for "kids, and people with ADHD". I honestly think I'd feel better about it if they just listed it the other way round...
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This is a wonderful post! Thanks everyone for such inspiring messages!
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Even if this post gets just two upvotes, I want you to know it helped me so much just now. I was on the verge of losing my shit before having read this.
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It’s hard, I’ve been with my wife since we were 16, and we’ve now been married for a decade and together for 15 years total. I still don’t know how to tactfully explain it’s not that I don’t care, I just am physically unable to handle conversation at the moment.
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Or the way when I was younger I had to make a square using my eyes or I was going to go to hell.
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I save them knowing one day ill be curious to know about the posts I saved.
When that day comes again, ill be very happy :)
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I've been thinking about getting a tattoo with some kind of cycle or circle to represent my battle with OCD. It's sometimes hard to remember when you're knee-deep in an obsession.
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Damn, this hits home big time. For me it's 6AM-9AM.
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I love the way it looks, with the bit of shakiness in the lines. It looks like that’s actually the style, and it’s a lot more interesting than it would be if the lines were all perfectly straight. Nice work :)
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Forced myself to read them all right now so I don’t do the “Ill read it later” dance and never come back out of shame! Now I can come back and hyper focus without issue. Thank you OP!!
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Every time lol I am going to try to stop doing this one
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Holy SHIT, this is incredible! And also such a good idea!
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iPhones only let you open 500 tabs in the safari 😬 I’m so ashamed I know
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My friend and I “babysit” each other doing school assignments and getting projects done. It’s amazing how much I can get done when they say something like, “in five minutes you need to get in the shower, I’ll call you in 20 and you better be out”, and continue that way throughout a day where I’m not functioning in my own.
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I feel this and it's compounded by the fact that I'm a late diagnosis and was diagnosed during the pandemic. What if it's just because of the pandemic? Isn't everyone struggling? Things like that.
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Yes.
I am my worst critic.
I have even slapped myself.
Scratched myself.
Shook my head. (I have a chronic ear issue that pops and cracks at times and makes OCD worse.
Cussed myself.
Degraded myself verbally.
Not all the time. Just when I "Jump in the air and get stuck". Stuck on a check.Random as well. Maybe a light switch one day. May be something else the next.Pill bottle are the worst. Along with my Fridge magnets.
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Just ordered the book on Amazon (thank god for 1-day shipping), thanks for the recommendation!
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I’ve recently came to the conclusion that when I have no active rumination or anxiety, I feel very vulnerable and about to be attacked with something I forgot
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Also, holes in shirts, checking to make sure the door is locked, random thoughts or images making you want to die because they repeat over and over, THE VOICES AT NIGHT
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Thank you for the reminder! I have so many tabs open.... When the tab icons are too small to properly navigate, I'll minimize my window, open a new window, tell myself \*this window\* won't be tab hell, annnnd repeat until my computer crashes. [Tabs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n241TvVUe4Y) <-- This song makes me feel so understood. Lol
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LOL emotional emails to an ex... read and write so many times I don't even end up se doing anything. Prolly a good thing tho
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