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Is it confirmed that there's anyone for which tough love works? I've always assumed that it's so counterproductive for me that it's probably not very effective for normal people, either.
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Yes dude I use way too many commas when writing and never linked it to ADHD! That’s crazy
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It really fucking is. I hate it. And now I probably can't get my medicine because all the pharmacies have been looted by me.
Without these pills, I'm basically fucked. Thankfully I had a 3 month bottle of depression pills but even still. It's going to really fucking suck to not have my Vyvanse to keep me from not fucking my life up.
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My husband has given me the theme song "The Warrior" except instead of 'warrior' I'm "The Worrier" lol
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Its the same for me with doors.
Is the door closed? Better check *checks*
Yup, great; better check another 15 times just to make sure
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Best thing to do is to think. "Let em shoot me" and walk. First 100 times it will be anxiety provoking. Then, its a breeze.
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Wish I could go back in time and show this to therapists as explanation lol.
"No I'm not afraid of getting sick; I don't care about real illness. I just don't want the germs to TOUCH me."
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Honestly I have a really nice woman who comes once a week to the house I share with my GF and a roommate and she does a fantastic job. I've found that having a clean house is much easier to maintain (for me and my ADHD) than to actually Clean a house. It made a huge difference and nothing to be ashamed of... I look at it the same as buying food from the grocery store... I COULD grow my own, but 8ts much easier to pay for a service to someone who is specialized in that activity.
Ive also been thinking of getting a personal assistant or something to help me stay organized at work (work from home has been AMAZING for my anxiety and depression but terrible for my organization and motivation (which can cause anxiety and depression))... Thinking of finding one of those virtual (online) assistants who can check on me and put deadlines and todo lists for me and make sure I'm on track.
Hope you're doing well!
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i feel terrible when I get this specific thought and I hate myself for it. Would any professional help make these thoughts go away?
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All the time! It’s so tiring. With magical thinking I feel like I can’t do certain things in case it makes something bad happen, then I feel guilty for wanting to in the first place.
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My parents habituated me doing the kitchen every day. No matter what. Don't know how I'll be able to live with different people soon.
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I had lumps in my lymph nodes recently and my doctor brushed it off. I've been going from specialist to specialist for seemingly related health problems (kidneys not working etc) to no avail, and half the time they straight up cut me off mid sentence. I have left appointments crying because I knew I wouldn't get answers that seem fairly obvious given my symptoms.
I say this because I want you to know, you had some valid reasons to procrastinate your appointment and you shouldn't beat yourself up too much for taking that long. People with ADHD especially know how dismissive and unhelpful doctors can be, and one appointment becomes five appointments just trying to get them to listen to you. So I completely understand the mental block that comes with health care visits, especially for us in this sub. It seems like an insurmountable pile of effort that you have to keep putting in to schedule and schedule and schedule and prepare what you're going to say and take time off work to go to the appointments and.... I get you. Go easy on yourself. I think we're all very familiar with this particular kind of procrastination. 💗
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My brother passed from cancer & I've been prone to migraines since I was 8. 😩 i feel this in MY SOUL
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Gonna show this my Dad next time this is happening and he thinks it's a good idea to create a new whole fucking book verbally just to fill silence.
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Had an old friend who basically once said “so having people say that you can’t do something doesn’t motivate you to do it?”
I never realized that it was suck a normal thing to do things you were told you can’t do until that moment, felt awful afterwards
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Haha this picture applies to literally all OCD thoughts!
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My dynamite method may help you.
In the wise words of Mary Cooper (Big Bang Theory), "there's only so long you can fish before you gotta throw a stick of dynamite in the water, *and I'm done fishin'*".
The way the dynamite method works is that when you find yourself caught in a negative spiral because you're constantly seeking the most optimal solution, the best and most ideal outcome, the way to break out of it is to do something big and "explosive", and see what you're left with when the dust settles. Why? Because when you're caught in a death spiral, the harm from staying stuck in the spiral is often *worse* than the harm you would get from a negative or sub-optimal outcome.
So, it's six and it's too late to do anything? Do it anyway. Half-ass it. Accept the crunch, accept that the work will be sub-par. Once you have something, even a *bad* something, *then* you have a platform you can work from. It's traffic hour? Get caught in the traffic. It's less than ideal, but you will get where you need to go *in the end*, it's just sub-optimal.
I developed this method 10 years ago, long before I got diagnosed. I'm *still* having to remind myself to apply the principle. It's not easy - perfectionism and other issues get in the way - but it is *excellent* for your mental health when you can apply it successfully.
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LOL. Scatterbrained? “Just use a planner”. Although, I am gonna try the bullet journal because I read that it was super helpful for our non-linear minds!
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Raw Shea butter has been a godsend for me.
It is thick, but melts easily. It absorbs into the skin quickly. And it takes a really miniscule amount to cover hands. A small container can usually go for about $5. It will last for a couple of months if you use it everywhere, or over a year if you use it just on your hands.
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Luckily in my case my mom has OCD as well so she understands
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Ifs all about balance. I’ve learned to keep myself just busy enough that my downtime actually feels like a break instead of another slot to fill. I also read A LOT. Anything from articles to comics to novels to scientific research. Anything that gets me interested I try to dive into a little.
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this could explain alot I have adhd and iam the person who never does anything and I only do it with stress like i have no time left bcs i cant concentrate or I just cant do it
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not very accurate but still interesting
https://www.cracked.com/article_20905_5-brain-disorders-that-started-as-evolutionary-advantages.html
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“You need to remember to try and focus on what you need to do rather than what you want to do” - Some ADHD ‘expert’ that thinks the solution to ADHD is focusing...
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I will generously volunteer to let them take mine :)
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"what would you do if I purposely triggered you"
My 19 yr old sister used to do that to me all the time when I told her I had OCD and every time she'd see me she'd do some weird shit that she knew would trigger me.
I kicked her out of the house and moved to another continent
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You are amazing! As a 47 year old, just coming to terms with adhd I’m so impressed by your initiative. Well done for working out what you need and working with your disability. Bravo!
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Congratulations! Every little step is very important. You're gonna get through this! :)
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When I was younger I called OCD a pussy disorder because I thought it was bullshit. When I found out it’s the reason I suffer I felt like it was karma
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I call it putting shit back where it goes and then checking to make sure it really goes where I put it and then taking it out and putting it back 4 more times to round it out to 5 but then taking it back out again since it doesn't blend in with the color of everything else and then trying to find another spot where it would match by checking everything in the room exactly 5 times before putting it into a different spot but then realizing the color shade of everything around there is off by more than 5 hex codes as well too so then I need to get rid of everything because it's all ruined if one sticks out among the rest and now I have to punish myself for breaking the pattern by banging my head against a wall 5 times and getting ready for the next day, rinse and repeat...
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OCD is like playing chess with an opponent why can read your mind, you can never win no matter what you do.
It always targets thoughts you can't tolerate having.
It's hard.
May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you.
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Literally think about stabbing myself almost every time I see a sharp knife. Using a blender also triggers harm thoughts. Harm isn't even my theme.
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Man, sometimes I’m like “idk if I really belong on this subreddit” and then I see stuff like this
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The only task I can be certain to finish is cooking, but that is only because if I get distracted and walk away, a fire might result. Whether or not the leftovers get put in the fridge in a timely manner is another issue, though.
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I simply think one letter should be changed. Instead of the D standing for deficit, I think it should stand for Direction. Attention Direction Hyperactivity Disorder. I don't think we have a deficit of attention, if anything, our attention spans can be much larger than others. We just have extreme difficulty pointing it where it needs to go.
Either that, or it needs to have a name that incorporates more of what ADHD is. Something like "Attention, Emotional, and Executive Disfunction Disorder." It's a big long, but ADHD is such a wide spectrum with so many different nuances that it's hard to fit everyone's experiences :/
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Oh yeah, getting a snack and a coffee will properly help... to keep me from getting shit done
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Good question, I was just wondering the same thing.
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I also went so far down the watch later rabbit hole yesterday 😅
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Meanwhile I can look in the exact spot something is in 5 times and not see it.
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My day be then boom. So fine intrusive thoughts.
r/dontdeadopeninside
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or the "but you're not throwing up thinking about it, so you must like it."
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Wow, that is really, really amazing! Congratulations that you managed to do this :)
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From one artist to another (with OCD). GOOD JOB! I am v proud of you! (:
When you have a hard time walking away, try to remind yourself that art is about learning and if you do something "wrong", you can learn from it and make a better painting next time. You've got this!
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Just adding to the pile here so you get a sense of the scale of impact you've made with this post:
Not only did I read and resonate with the entirety of this post - it completely changed my attitude on how I'd like to communicate my condition to folks.
Tbh, if I do choose to share, I would typically just say "ADHD" to save time and not overshare with the listener on details or feel like I'm unloading baggage onto them.
I can do that just as simply with "neurological condition that makes my executive functioning more difficult". And avoid the stigma and any preconceptions immediately.
Thank you for this infodump. It helped me a lot today.
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brushing your teeth is one of those things that can seem like the worst thing ever and i’m definitely guilty of a spotty brushing record but it’s also such a victory especially in this post!!! congrats!!
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I manifested this reddit post and all these replies with my anxiety about manifestation
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Me with literally every single thing ever in existence
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And then months later you finally realize that these new weird rituals that you once swore were normal things you had to do are actually OCD compulsions.
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What are you passionate about that you can’t talk to your friends about it? Same here. That’s why I’m wondering.
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VH- the psych central link regarding the not-so-helpful effects of talk therapy on OCD was very useful. Thank you!
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Oh no. I hoped this was a joke. 2 steps forward, 2 steps back......
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That’s incredible! That sounds like a crazy hard exposure, that’s so great that both you and your husband followed the exposure and were successful. That’s a huge victory, congrats !!
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I feel this so deeply today. Love and solidarity. X
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I may be under educated but aren’t they the same thing. Just happy chemicals
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Hey at least I got my tabs under the max amount my phone will allow
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Yupppp. Thats me. Right there. In that entire post.
Btw, if you want some sort of insight into why our brains arent made for this world, and how to work and get the best out of it, check out this vid by Healthygamergg. Harvard psychologist. This video gave me a huggeeeeeee lightbulb. Legit changed how I do anything lol.
https://youtu.be/tRWX21lW_bU
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My mind is always racing 100mph and I absolutely hate it. Honestly, I can’t remember when was the last time I had peace and quiet.
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Yeah I feel like this quarantine has made my OCD worse.
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1 am? I'd wish...
More like: oh would you look a that a new season I haven't watched yet, now I have something to do over the next week after studying. *TIMEJUMP* Damn Cliffhanger again... well... sleepy time,... wait. Why is there sunlight in the middle of the night? *look to watch nervously* **6 am**
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Lmao this is me except when I'm nauseous I also think it could be a brain tumor lmfao
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I always have to look at my door as I'm riding my bike to work. I've gone back and checked.
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Nice work!
That’s a rough one for me to do but hopefully I’ll get there soon.
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My husband is also ADHD so he’ll hyper-fixate and go off on special interest tangents at like...the exact moment that I really need him to shut up lol
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Since getting on meds, I've found myself surprised by how often I'm able to recall something. Remembering where I lost saw something or where I sat something down. Remember steps in math or the name of a specific resource. It's stuff that I thought was literally impossible, despite how trivial it seemed. Remembering stuff I thought I'd either forgotten completely or not learned properly in the first place is _wild_ to me.
There were so many times that I was frustrated and felt hopeless because no amount of studying would make a difference. I'd get so angry that I'd spend hours stewing, anxiety building in my chest. Super close to tears because it felt like I had to relearn _everything_ any time I took a break.
Binge reading something and not recalling a goddamn thing about it. I've read entire series of books that I recall _nothing_ about. In fact, the only reason I remember so much about Harry Potter was because I went through a fanfic phase and damn-near lived in that world.
I'm still not quite _there_ yet, but it's the first time in my life that I feel like I can put this stuff to use. It's the first time I feel like I'm close to getting where I want to be. And it's kind of frustrating to just _wait._
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Not really a way to mess up, keep that in mind. Congratulations!!
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Supposed to fall asleep, was scared to, thanks. I'll tuck myself to bed now. :)
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I've been really getting that way lately. The compulsions have been getting out of control.
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This is me every fucking day and right now. I still have to write a text for a presentation tomorrow, have to write a text I should have sent in two weeks ago and have to do a huuuuge task which was due to today which I haven't even started
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I kinda wanna tattoo it on my upper arm as a reminder-someone who also struggled with POCD
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me: picks up knife
OCD brain: sharp blade go brr (+various intrusive thoughts)
me to me: you wanna go? let's tango
OCD brain: [oh no](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/023/180/notsurprisedkirk.jpg)
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Looks like you need to wash your hair 😁 seriously though Ketamine is the only think that helps my intrusive thoughts btw
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This one hits the nail on the head for me...even minor errands can do that. Also, I'll STILL schedule stuff at 3 because I'm afraid I'll sleep in or get hung up on something and be late.
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Yes- thank you for this post, because this really validated what I’ve been struggling with me.
As some other people mentioned on here, I’m also very aware I may come off as rude, or have “blonde moments”- as my family will jokingly say, when I struggle through conversations with others (especially bosses or people who are more well-spoken than me). It’s been a major struggle with self esteem because of this, and has more recently caused me to slightly stutter, go entirely blank, and/or literally choke on the words I’m attempting to say when I’m put on the spot in conversations that require more me to be more cognizant.
Hang in there OP, I’m sure there is research out there on how to work on developing the skills needed to make this at least a little better!
Edit: typos
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well said, unfortunately. Hope you feel better soon.
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This was actually amazing. I wish it was as easy to talk back to my own thoughts as it was to talk back to yours!
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You really just made a whole lot of drama about getting a cleaner XD
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Yeah i agree with you. In my case, it is obviously the case.
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What were you drinking out of then? Straight from a bottle?
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I don’t know if this will work for you, but what helped me when I had major assignments I needed to focus on was to eliminate everything that normally distracts me. I would delete all games and social media from my phone. I would block websites to any social media site or put a 1 minute time limit on them. I would still get distracted, but every time I was thwarted by all the blocks I set in place it forced me to at least try to be productive. Also, your school should offer accommodations for ADHD. I’m not familiar with the paperwork, but I do know the option is there. If you meet the requirements you could be granted more time for assignments and tests. You will have ask the school to get details.
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Haha, my wife and I both have OCD & on most days, our house is trashed, our cars are trashed, our Garden is littered with weeds
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Big time! I started downloading MP3s of my fav YouTube shows and put them on my iPod so I could just have endless noise and talking to keep me from panicking, but also to keep me from getting distracted. Surprisingly effective.
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I'm the most disorganized person I know.
I once had a student looks at my absolute disaster area of a desk and say "It's a good thing you don't have OCD."
I laughed and told him it's funny because I actually do.
I'm pretty sanitary, in general, but not like germaphobia-OCD sanitary. Like, I wash my hands all the time now, but remembering to do a full 20 seconds is an adjustment.
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Yes! I'm so relieved that I'm not the only one. It doesn't help that my best friend actually has pretty severe chronic illness.
My brain goes though the entire process of thinking about how they died, when I found out, how I reacted, etc. And I don't even really get upset when I think about it. It's like my brain is just running simulations, or something. It's weird.
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When my ocd gets bad (its been really good as of late, thank God) I panik in the moment and run away from people.
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one of the reasons i got sterilized. check out r/childfree, r/truechildfree, r/fencesitters, and r/antinatalism to learn more about this philosophy! and yay for considering your future children rather than blindly having children without careful thought.
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holy sh\*t I remember dealing with this back when I was younger its so good knowing how much progress iv made over the years. Or having to worry about meteorites hitting you in the head haha
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Ahhh what a great advice, if you want the premium benefits start a bullet journal it cures adhd and depression 😃
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Okay but especially when I'm having an intrusive thought about them. And you have to look them in the eye.
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Okay that’s the best way to phrase having ocd. I literally have to stop and talk to myself rationally like a toddler when it’s going crazy
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Very helpful thread!
I'm having a time figuring out my dosing. My GP is not knowledgeable enough to know how to help me find a dose that works, so I'm being referred to someone else for ADHD treatment, but the referral will take a few weeks(months??) so she'll keep treating me in the meantime.
I'm on Vyvanse and I DEFINETLY need help figuring out the dose and stuff.
It worked great the first month and a bit, then I started crashing ~7 hours after I took it. So then I split the dose and that solved it, but splitting the same 30mg pill was too weak. Then my doctor prescribed me 10mg pills to add to my 30mg since I still have a bunch of them left.
So anyways today was my first day of trying a 30/10 mg split dose. I forgot to eat for the first couple hours too. So anyways was working normal up until hour 5, then I got super fatigued and spaced out for a few hours, even with taking the 10mg booster.
I'm so frustrated, mostly because I'm in essay crunch writing time and figuring out: the ideal time spacing of my Vyvanse split dose+the mg each dose should be+any other stuff that effects it like meal and coffee times, all on my own is overwhelmingggggg
will listen to any and all advice on this meals
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I'm working with special needs kids and last week I was in the bus with one of them who was talking his head off and it took me every fucking piece of strength I had left in my overly stressed body to not shut his mouth manually.
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You get your 3 hours as a contiguous window?? I get 30 minutes at 8 AM, 7 minutes at noon, 15 minutes at 4 PM, an hour at 9, and and the rest from 2 AM on if I'm awake for it.
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Gosh, you nailed it. I'd just add that the energy expended doing those executive functions is a lot. I don't respect it sometimes so I know people who don't have ADHD, etc. al. can't.
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Love it. Your style is very nice. I like how you made the eyes black and empty, and the contrast between the inside and the outside is wonderfully done
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Somebody showing up at 5pm to my house? Better sit here anxiously all day by the window so I don't miss them.
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omg when people in my class say something like "oH mY oCD hAs bEeN sEt oFf" ffs
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semi-related but one time my therapist told me to count how many times i had to do a compulsion for a week and i filled up like 3 pages with tallies
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Yeah. One of my buddies had the symptoms and it was obvious to me (asking for reassurance that he didn't do anything, compulsively checking, etc). He didn't get diagnosed until recently.
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I'm really into films and media and such, so I usually just pause to have an internal dialogue. Whether I'll press play in a reasonable amount of time is another question.
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Oof my “textbook” about OCD lists all the main obsessions and talks about meta OCD where you have OCD about your OCD, so this is a diagnosable form and infuriating.
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