Long story short we met over 13 years ago, been together and monogamous for 11, and in the last two years we keep hooking up and breaking up.

My ex[32/m] and I[30/f] were both committed to each other from the beginning, and all was peachy for most of our relationship. Communication started to go downhill when we were around 23-25, but still nothing serious, only misunderstandings about little things. Then things started to be left unspoken, ignored, and by the end avoided altogether. Still didn't expect things to be that serious and I was asking for counselling, he thought that would be just a waste of time and effort, and two years ago we divorced amiable. And this is when it gets complicated because neither of us could let go; he started dating again during divorce, and had short flings after also, but lied and tried to hide it from me while saying we should get back together. 
Several half hearted attempts later, and I can't trust him any more. Now he says he's sorry, he would like to come clean with everything, he would consider even counselling if that is what I need, but I'm doubting myself and him, and at the same time I don't know how to end it all and not have him in my life. I'm not even sure what is going on, if there are genuine positive feelings here, or we are too scared of living on our own because we were together since adolescence.
user
I'm not sure
assistant
Long story short we met over 13 years ago, been together and monogamous for 11, and in the last two years we keep hooking up and breaking up.

My ex[32/m] and I[30/f] were both committed to each other from the beginning, and all was peachy for most of our relationship. Communication started to go downhill when we were around 23-25, but still nothing serious, only misunderstandings about little things. Then things started to be left unspoken, ignored, and by the end avoided altogether. Still didn't expect things to be that serious and I was asking for counselling, he thought that would be just a waste of time and effort, and two years ago we divorced amiable. And this is when it gets complicated because neither of us could let go; he started dating again during divorce, and had short flings after also, but lied and tried to hide it from me while saying we should get back together. 
Several half hearted attempts later, and I can't trust him any more. Now he says he's sorry, he would like to come clean with everything, he would consider even counselling if that is what I need, but I'm doubting myself and him, and at the same time I don't know how to end it all and not have him in my life. I'm not even sure what is going on, if there are genuine positive feelings here, or we are too scared of living on our own because we were together since adolescence.
user
Is it worth
assistant