So I've been together with my gf for 5 months now, and I took her to her first festival. I drank quite a lot and I lost her for the entire festival. I felt like shit and every time I found her she would get lost again, or when I went to get beer, she walked away pissed because I didn't say anything.  
This ended with me crying (I'm not a crier) in bed, and her taking all the blame.  
Afterwards I felt bad so I talked to her and we made up yesterday.  
We lied in bed together for a few hours and it felt right again, but yesterday night I went to a get together at a friends house, and I was again intoxicated.  
I chilled with her for half an hour, but after that she started dancing with a girl and they ended up spending the evening together kissing in the hallway.  
Now we talked about her wanting to kiss another girl for her bucket list, but I felt alone.  
I tried to get her attention 3 times but she was in an entire different world, so I gave up.  
We biked home and I broke down again, not getting how she would leave me for a random hookup with a chick after we just made up a few hours ago.  
It was fucked, we were both crying again and I took the blame this time, telling her I was drunk and just being a dick.  
I am not a relationship kind of guy, and I don't want to keep getting hurt, but she is so emotionally fragile that I'm scared to break up.  
I still love her too..
user
gf and I made up, but instead of being emotionally supportive she left me for random hookups with other girls. I am afraid
assistant
So I've been together with my gf for 5 months now, and I took her to her first festival. I drank quite a lot and I lost her for the entire festival. I felt like shit and every time I found her she would get lost again, or when I went to get beer, she walked away pissed because I didn't say anything.  
This ended with me crying (I'm not a crier) in bed, and her taking all the blame.  
Afterwards I felt bad so I talked to her and we made up yesterday.  
We lied in bed together for a few hours and it felt right again, but yesterday night I went to a get together at a friends house, and I was again intoxicated.  
I chilled with her for half an hour, but after that she started dancing with a girl and they ended up spending the evening together kissing in the hallway.  
Now we talked about her wanting to kiss another girl for her bucket list, but I felt alone.  
I tried to get her attention 3 times but she was in an entire different world, so I gave up.  
We biked home and I broke down again, not getting how she would leave me for a random hookup with a chick after we just made up a few hours ago.  
It was fucked, we were both crying again and I took the blame this time, telling her I was drunk and just being a dick.  
I am not a relationship kind of guy, and I don't want to keep getting hurt, but she is so emotionally fragile that I'm scared to break up.  
I still love her too..
user
relationship with gf started falling apart because of alcohol. we made up, but she kissed/spent the evening with a random chick after we
assistant