Hiya chaps and chapettes. My Mum and I haven't gotten along for years. I moved interstate in part to get away from her. I got a job in another city answering phones, and because of that I developed a method of phone communication at odds with my mother; to whit, she enjoys rambling, drunken conversations that go on for hours, and I like phone conversations that have an exit strategy. I always know what I want from a call I make, and guide the conversation to that point.

Now, I have only just realised that I missed Mum's birthday, which was two days ago. I meant to send her a card, but I forgot. I'm in the wrong here, and I know it. I am going to call her tomorrow and apologise for missing her birthday.

BUT; and here is why I need you. We haven't spoken for almost a year, our most recent communication was via email where she again pulled out the passive aggressive "you're breaking my heart" sentiment. I called her on her obvious manipulation, and haven't heard back since. I do want to make this right, but I also want to make her understand that I hate the phone. So, can you help me find the words to apologise, and can you help me explain to her why I hate the phone?
user
My Mum and I don't talk. It was her birthday a few days ago but I forgot it. I want to apologise, but also save face and make her realise
assistant
Hiya chaps and chapettes. My Mum and I haven't gotten along for years. I moved interstate in part to get away from her. I got a job in another city answering phones, and because of that I developed a method of phone communication at odds with my mother; to whit, she enjoys rambling, drunken conversations that go on for hours, and I like phone conversations that have an exit strategy. I always know what I want from a call I make, and guide the conversation to that point.

Now, I have only just realised that I missed Mum's birthday, which was two days ago. I meant to send her a card, but I forgot. I'm in the wrong here, and I know it. I am going to call her tomorrow and apologise for missing her birthday.

BUT; and here is why I need you. We haven't spoken for almost a year, our most recent communication was via email where she again pulled out the passive aggressive "you're breaking my heart" sentiment. I called her on her obvious manipulation, and haven't heard back since. I do want to make this right, but I also want to make her understand that I hate the phone. So, can you help me find the words to apologise, and can you help me explain to her why I hate the phone?
user
I need to apologise to my Mum for not communicating with her, but also need to explain why I hate the phone.
assistant