I have been dating my boyfriend, M23 for about 2 years. He's very sweet and patient. But I don't always love him

He helps me with my anxiety and is supportive of my sobriety, but he never takes me out.

When we first started dating he was well groomed and took me out every weekend. Now he is probably the biggest slob I know.

I'm about to graduate college and go to grad school, and I'll probably finish my masters before he finishes his bachelor's.

My boyfriends been emotionally distant for quiet sometime.

One of my best friends is a guy. And he is really handsome and polite. He has a decent job.

Last night I told him about my bulimia. He is the first person I've ever told. I told him about that and my fears about dating a man because I usually prefer women. But I'm scared of a relationship with a women, scared of my bulimia, scared of grad school and how all of this will effect my sobriety.  

We talked about his relationship fears. We talked about his relationship with his dad.

He took me a strip club. And it was fun. I got two lap dances. 

I know my boyfriend wouldn't mind that. He would find it funny.

Afterwards we were headed to my car and my friend got real quiet. I asked him what was up and he kissed me. He told me he fancied me and has for a while. He told me sweet nothing's and kissed me so gently. 

I kissed him back. 

Then we drove to his place. We held hands and we laughed and he told me he liked me and we kissed some more. 
We had sex. Afterwards he kissed me so softly and made silly jokes. Then he was kicking me out.

He told me as he drove me home that this was a one off and he would prefer we act like it never happened.  Not to tell my boyfriend about this.

I feel so confused.
user
cheated on my emotionally distant (F22) boyfriend (m23) with good friend (M23) who I
assistant
I have been dating my boyfriend, M23 for about 2 years. He's very sweet and patient. But I don't always love him

He helps me with my anxiety and is supportive of my sobriety, but he never takes me out.

When we first started dating he was well groomed and took me out every weekend. Now he is probably the biggest slob I know.

I'm about to graduate college and go to grad school, and I'll probably finish my masters before he finishes his bachelor's.

My boyfriends been emotionally distant for quiet sometime.

One of my best friends is a guy. And he is really handsome and polite. He has a decent job.

Last night I told him about my bulimia. He is the first person I've ever told. I told him about that and my fears about dating a man because I usually prefer women. But I'm scared of a relationship with a women, scared of my bulimia, scared of grad school and how all of this will effect my sobriety.  

We talked about his relationship fears. We talked about his relationship with his dad.

He took me a strip club. And it was fun. I got two lap dances. 

I know my boyfriend wouldn't mind that. He would find it funny.

Afterwards we were headed to my car and my friend got real quiet. I asked him what was up and he kissed me. He told me he fancied me and has for a while. He told me sweet nothing's and kissed me so gently. 

I kissed him back. 

Then we drove to his place. We held hands and we laughed and he told me he liked me and we kissed some more. 
We had sex. Afterwards he kissed me so softly and made silly jokes. Then he was kicking me out.

He told me as he drove me home that this was a one off and he would prefer we act like it never happened.  Not to tell my boyfriend about this.

I feel so confused.
user
I cheated on my boyfriend last night. I feel like I did something wrong
assistant