Nine month we've been together. 

I had a lot of abuse in my life, mostly sexual. In the beginning of the relationship, when my BF and I talked about it, I told him how much I hated sex offenders, and they shouldn't be given a second chance and how much they mess people up. He responded by saying something like "they're not all bad, they just made some bad decisions." And basically defending them, saying they just slipped up. Like every time. And I would get really mad, and we'd argue about it. He's said "Of course I don't think what they did was right. It was awful and shouldn't have happened." He said that I had such a strong hatred for rapists that I would never be able to get over what happened to me, unless I saw them differently. Which, first of all, what? That makes no sense at all. I'm allowed to get over what happened to me and still think that childmolestors and rapists are horrible, horrible people. I just can't let it consume my life.

Now, however, he doesn't want me to talk about my problems at all. He wants me to get a therapist and deal with it on my own, and if I need comfort, then I can ask my sisters or get a girlfriend... 

But, I want a relationship with comfort. I want a relationship where I can talk about my past without my abusers getting defended. I want a relationship where I can cry and he doesn't get mad and say "Oh, now I have to deal with this."

How can I get that? Can I get that? What would you do?
user
boyfriend defended abusers with faulty reasoning,
assistant
Nine month we've been together. 

I had a lot of abuse in my life, mostly sexual. In the beginning of the relationship, when my BF and I talked about it, I told him how much I hated sex offenders, and they shouldn't be given a second chance and how much they mess people up. He responded by saying something like "they're not all bad, they just made some bad decisions." And basically defending them, saying they just slipped up. Like every time. And I would get really mad, and we'd argue about it. He's said "Of course I don't think what they did was right. It was awful and shouldn't have happened." He said that I had such a strong hatred for rapists that I would never be able to get over what happened to me, unless I saw them differently. Which, first of all, what? That makes no sense at all. I'm allowed to get over what happened to me and still think that childmolestors and rapists are horrible, horrible people. I just can't let it consume my life.

Now, however, he doesn't want me to talk about my problems at all. He wants me to get a therapist and deal with it on my own, and if I need comfort, then I can ask my sisters or get a girlfriend... 

But, I want a relationship with comfort. I want a relationship where I can talk about my past without my abusers getting defended. I want a relationship where I can cry and he doesn't get mad and say "Oh, now I have to deal with this."

How can I get that? Can I get that? What would you do?
user
BF of 9 months - I've
assistant