I've been dating my boyfriend for the last two years. When we started dating he made it clear that his mother will not approve me and she will only approve someone from the same cultural/religious background as him and our relationship has to remain a secret. Silly me did not care at that time and did not understand the grief it would bring. 

    Fast forward two years, we still love each other but the fact that I cannot tell anyone about him is straining our relationship. I have not met any of his friends unless they are mutual friends with me. No one knows about us. I'm not allowed to hold his hands in public because he fears that someone will recognize him. We cannot go on vacations together because his mother will question him. I cannot bring him as a plus one to any parties or events I attend. He doesnt bring me to any events if I'm not invited (plus ones are allowed). This makes me feel like a mistress and I find it very painful. 

    What hurts me the most is the fear that if he actually loved me and cared about me... he would have not kept out relationship secret.

    This fear is straining our relationship as I started to complain a lot recently and took him for granted. He's really sweet and gentle and I can see that he is trying his best given the circumstances (I.e. he fends off his mother whenever she suggests that he needs to find a girl friend or tries to set up dates for him) but I'm so focused on my problems that I miss this and breaks his heart.

    Sometimes I have false hopes that if I stick around until we are in our mid 30s his mom will eventually approve and we can be together.

    I ove him and he is a great guy. He's funny, gentle, kind, witty, and he and I share similar values and beliefs. I don't know what to do. I can see that we have no future together but I do not want to break up with him.
user
I love my bf but I cannot tell anyone about him because his mother will not approve me and he has to keep the relationship a secret. I have
assistant
I've been dating my boyfriend for the last two years. When we started dating he made it clear that his mother will not approve me and she will only approve someone from the same cultural/religious background as him and our relationship has to remain a secret. Silly me did not care at that time and did not understand the grief it would bring. 

    Fast forward two years, we still love each other but the fact that I cannot tell anyone about him is straining our relationship. I have not met any of his friends unless they are mutual friends with me. No one knows about us. I'm not allowed to hold his hands in public because he fears that someone will recognize him. We cannot go on vacations together because his mother will question him. I cannot bring him as a plus one to any parties or events I attend. He doesnt bring me to any events if I'm not invited (plus ones are allowed). This makes me feel like a mistress and I find it very painful. 

    What hurts me the most is the fear that if he actually loved me and cared about me... he would have not kept out relationship secret.

    This fear is straining our relationship as I started to complain a lot recently and took him for granted. He's really sweet and gentle and I can see that he is trying his best given the circumstances (I.e. he fends off his mother whenever she suggests that he needs to find a girl friend or tries to set up dates for him) but I'm so focused on my problems that I miss this and breaks his heart.

    Sometimes I have false hopes that if I stick around until we are in our mid 30s his mom will eventually approve and we can be together.

    I ove him and he is a great guy. He's funny, gentle, kind, witty, and he and I share similar values and beliefs. I don't know what to do. I can see that we have no future together but I do not want to break up with him.
user
My SO and I have no future together because of our different cultures and beliefs. What should I do?
assistant