[previously: my husband is addicted to checking in using technology and I can't tell if I'm being unreasonable or he is.] (

Since Husband was working last night (got called in after dinner, basically right in the middle of the hour after dinner, immediately after he broke the "rule" and I pointed out that he was breaking the rule), I emailed him to say "I get that this hour-after-dinner rule isn't working for you, what would be better?  I don't want to be policing you" and his reply was basically "just tell me when you want to have screen-free time."  He thinks it's dumb to have a standing rule and that I should just communicate when I'm feeling lonely and want his attention.  

I have no idea how to communicate to him when I'm feeling lonely and want his attention because, even when we had a rule in place, he would get really defensive when I'd say, "hey, I want your attention." when he was breaking the rule.  His response is almost always "well you were looking away/in the bathroom/whatever, I am busy, you're being really needy."

So basically I'm stuck here.   Feeling really catch-22.   Anyone have any tips on dealing with a defensive spouse?  For asking for attention without feeling like a pathetic sadsack?
user
Husband thinks it's dumb to have a standing rule and that I should just communicate when I'm feeling lonely and want his attention. Anyone have any
assistant
[previously: my husband is addicted to checking in using technology and I can't tell if I'm being unreasonable or he is.] (

Since Husband was working last night (got called in after dinner, basically right in the middle of the hour after dinner, immediately after he broke the "rule" and I pointed out that he was breaking the rule), I emailed him to say "I get that this hour-after-dinner rule isn't working for you, what would be better?  I don't want to be policing you" and his reply was basically "just tell me when you want to have screen-free time."  He thinks it's dumb to have a standing rule and that I should just communicate when I'm feeling lonely and want his attention.  

I have no idea how to communicate to him when I'm feeling lonely and want his attention because, even when we had a rule in place, he would get really defensive when I'd say, "hey, I want your attention." when he was breaking the rule.  His response is almost always "well you were looking away/in the bathroom/whatever, I am busy, you're being really needy."

So basically I'm stuck here.   Feeling really catch-22.   Anyone have any tips on dealing with a defensive spouse?  For asking for attention without feeling like a pathetic sadsack?
user
I'm feeling like my husband is being a dick to me because I want him to check in when I'm lonely and when I'm not feeling
assistant