Not long after I moved to a new city in 2015 I had a personal tragedy occur, and my new workmates were wonderful in helping me deal with it.  I became close to quite a few of them a lot sooner than I normally would have and this is fine with the exception of one person - Tina.  Now, she's a nice person but quite intense and can be slightly dominating which in that situation was a godsend when I could barely function but nearly a year and a half later I'm realising that if it wasn't for that tragedy I wouldn't be as close a friend as I ended up becoming.

I've always been a people pleaser, and am now just learning to set up boundaries for myself.  This means I'm re-evaluating a lot of things in my life and this friendship is one.  As I said, she's a nice person with a good heart but I'm not enjoying spending a lot of time with her because she can be so dominating (I bring up a topic and she takes over the conversation turning it into a near monologue, for example).  I'd be happy to just dial this relationship back to 'friendly' rather than 'good friends' but I'm feeling a lot of guilt over doing so and don't know if it's because I'm a terrible person who should always value friends who help you in tough times, or because I'm actually outgrowing this one, or we never would have been as close if the tragic event never occurred.

(I feel I should add that I work in a niche industry where it is not uncommon that your coworker become your social circle, whether this is a good or bad thing is something else entirely.)
user
questioning level of friendship with coworker after tragic event, am I a bitch or is it okay to not be as close friends with someone out of obligation?
assistant
Not long after I moved to a new city in 2015 I had a personal tragedy occur, and my new workmates were wonderful in helping me deal with it.  I became close to quite a few of them a lot sooner than I normally would have and this is fine with the exception of one person - Tina.  Now, she's a nice person but quite intense and can be slightly dominating which in that situation was a godsend when I could barely function but nearly a year and a half later I'm realising that if it wasn't for that tragedy I wouldn't be as close a friend as I ended up becoming.

I've always been a people pleaser, and am now just learning to set up boundaries for myself.  This means I'm re-evaluating a lot of things in my life and this friendship is one.  As I said, she's a nice person with a good heart but I'm not enjoying spending a lot of time with her because she can be so dominating (I bring up a topic and she takes over the conversation turning it into a near monologue, for example).  I'd be happy to just dial this relationship back to 'friendly' rather than 'good friends' but I'm feeling a lot of guilt over doing so and don't know if it's because I'm a terrible person who should always value friends who help you in tough times, or because I'm actually outgrowing this one, or we never would have been as close if the tragic event never occurred.

(I feel I should add that I work in a niche industry where it is not uncommon that your coworker become your social circle, whether this is a good or bad thing is something else entirely.)
user
I'm reconsidering my friendship with a much less intense person because of a personal tragedy but I don't know if it's because I'm growing out of the one I had before or because I'm
assistant