This might not be the most coherent post, so forgive me. I'll fix/elaborate/whatever tomorrow, but right now I need to vent. It's the only thing I can do right now.

---

When I got fucked over through my school years, I did nothing; I could do nothing. Now, when my younger brother gets, and is getting, fucked over by his school, I'm expected to "let it go" or "let him deal with it" and "if he can't do anything, then we'll step in." 

This rhetoric is too familiar and what lot of good it did me this past decade. Terrific plan, just sit back and watch him dig himself into the same hole I'm still trying to claw out of. My older brother did it and I did it, but I will not let it happen to him. Do my parents not realize what it's turned my older brother and I into?

They didn't hear how a two-stage trigger was almost what cut his frayed thread of hope; see the regret in his eyes as they begged for forgiveness. Or the tear stains on his pillows, or how he would hug me when he got drunk just to let me know that I'm not alone. They didn't see the agony it brought him to see me in a similar state.

But I did.

They didn't see my scars, my isolation, how my tears were replaced with hate, or how my pace slowed past a roof access stairwell. They couldn't have seen, because they would have done something.

There is nothing I would not sacrifice of myself to ensure that he never has to go through anything like his older siblings have. I don't exaggerate to say that if there is a hell I would gladly dive into the fire if it would grant either of my brothers any respite. I care too much about them to care about myself.

But what can I do, whether it's with school or with anything else? Being there isn't enough if all I do is spectate.

Ugh, I know I'm rambling incoherently, but I'm at wits end and feel like punching a bag until my hands bleed. It wouldn't be the first time.
user
history repeats itself if we let it, and I would rather die than see my brother's future reflect
assistant
This might not be the most coherent post, so forgive me. I'll fix/elaborate/whatever tomorrow, but right now I need to vent. It's the only thing I can do right now.

---

When I got fucked over through my school years, I did nothing; I could do nothing. Now, when my younger brother gets, and is getting, fucked over by his school, I'm expected to "let it go" or "let him deal with it" and "if he can't do anything, then we'll step in." 

This rhetoric is too familiar and what lot of good it did me this past decade. Terrific plan, just sit back and watch him dig himself into the same hole I'm still trying to claw out of. My older brother did it and I did it, but I will not let it happen to him. Do my parents not realize what it's turned my older brother and I into?

They didn't hear how a two-stage trigger was almost what cut his frayed thread of hope; see the regret in his eyes as they begged for forgiveness. Or the tear stains on his pillows, or how he would hug me when he got drunk just to let me know that I'm not alone. They didn't see the agony it brought him to see me in a similar state.

But I did.

They didn't see my scars, my isolation, how my tears were replaced with hate, or how my pace slowed past a roof access stairwell. They couldn't have seen, because they would have done something.

There is nothing I would not sacrifice of myself to ensure that he never has to go through anything like his older siblings have. I don't exaggerate to say that if there is a hell I would gladly dive into the fire if it would grant either of my brothers any respite. I care too much about them to care about myself.

But what can I do, whether it's with school or with anything else? Being there isn't enough if all I do is spectate.

Ugh, I know I'm rambling incoherently, but I'm at wits end and feel like punching a bag until my hands bleed. It wouldn't be the first time.
user
I think I would have been better off if I just didn't get fucked over.
assistant