My first love of 1.5 years broke it off with me about 3 months ago. We did NC for about 3 weeks and then got back in touch. We now are pretty good friends and still hang out and hook up sometimes. He's expressed to me that he doesn't want to do anything to hurt me and we don't have to have sex if I don't want to. He's slept with 4 others girls (that I know of) since the break up. I've slept with one other guy. He's told me he's over me and couldn't care less about what I do with other guys, but he still values my friendship and cares about me. 

So we've been hanging out together, sometimes we have sex, sometimes we don't. It's so hard for me though because I always want more. I'm pretty sure he thinks that I'm doing a lot better than I am. He went out of town recently with some mutual friends (I wasn't invited for obvious reasons) and when I saw the pics of them all having fun it made me really upset. Like I felt like I should have been there. I blocked all of their posts from my timeline right after.

I like his companionship. I think I might even still love him. And honestly without him I have no good friends in this town. I'm so scared to let go just because I don't want to be completely alone. I don't want to damage our friendship and I just can't do it. Having him around causes me pain and letting go of him causes me more pain so it's a lose lose situation for me. I feel like I'd be doing so much better if I had more good friends in this town. I used to, but most of them graduated or moved.

I also still have him on this pedestal. I feel like he is the best looking guy I'll ever get and the best personality I'll get, too. He's such a good guy and oh, so attractive. I'm still extremely physically attracted to him. 

Help me. I hate this.
user
Can't let go of my ex. He's still awesome and I still
assistant
My first love of 1.5 years broke it off with me about 3 months ago. We did NC for about 3 weeks and then got back in touch. We now are pretty good friends and still hang out and hook up sometimes. He's expressed to me that he doesn't want to do anything to hurt me and we don't have to have sex if I don't want to. He's slept with 4 others girls (that I know of) since the break up. I've slept with one other guy. He's told me he's over me and couldn't care less about what I do with other guys, but he still values my friendship and cares about me. 

So we've been hanging out together, sometimes we have sex, sometimes we don't. It's so hard for me though because I always want more. I'm pretty sure he thinks that I'm doing a lot better than I am. He went out of town recently with some mutual friends (I wasn't invited for obvious reasons) and when I saw the pics of them all having fun it made me really upset. Like I felt like I should have been there. I blocked all of their posts from my timeline right after.

I like his companionship. I think I might even still love him. And honestly without him I have no good friends in this town. I'm so scared to let go just because I don't want to be completely alone. I don't want to damage our friendship and I just can't do it. Having him around causes me pain and letting go of him causes me more pain so it's a lose lose situation for me. I feel like I'd be doing so much better if I had more good friends in this town. I used to, but most of them graduated or moved.

I also still have him on this pedestal. I feel like he is the best looking guy I'll ever get and the best personality I'll get, too. He's such a good guy and oh, so attractive. I'm still extremely physically attracted to him. 

Help me. I hate this.
user
My ex is an amazing guy and I'm not over him but
assistant