Back story on my relationship: On/off for 3 years. She left after 6 months to try things with some guy, he didn't want to be with her. She came back, 2 years later she left me for someone else. That guy ended up dumping her after a month, and she got back in contact with me. She told me that she had sex with him, but wanted to have sex with me as friends with benefits. I didn't agree, and she begged for me to stay in her life while she "explored". A week after I told her I wanted a committed relationship, she found her newest boyfriend on a dating app. 

I just can't get over the fact that my ex had sex with someone else instead of me, and will have sex with a bunch of other guys. She had sex with the guy she left me for, and is probably having sex with her newest boyfriend right now. I thought that I would be special, but I'm not. It haunts me and I hate it. It makes me feel so bad that I feel suicidal over this. Seeing her makes me sick.
user
Ex is having sex with her new boyfriend
assistant
Back story on my relationship: On/off for 3 years. She left after 6 months to try things with some guy, he didn't want to be with her. She came back, 2 years later she left me for someone else. That guy ended up dumping her after a month, and she got back in contact with me. She told me that she had sex with him, but wanted to have sex with me as friends with benefits. I didn't agree, and she begged for me to stay in her life while she "explored". A week after I told her I wanted a committed relationship, she found her newest boyfriend on a dating app. 

I just can't get over the fact that my ex had sex with someone else instead of me, and will have sex with a bunch of other guys. She had sex with the guy she left me for, and is probably having sex with her newest boyfriend right now. I thought that I would be special, but I'm not. It haunts me and I hate it. It makes me feel so bad that I feel suicidal over this. Seeing her makes me sick.
user
I [20 M] have a hard time accepting
assistant