Just a short one here. Last year I was at a party my frat was having, with a beach theme. Some of the older brothers were going around with squirt guns coercing people into having shots fired down their throats. I submitted and suffered, as they apparently had mixed tequila, vodka and whiskey together. 

Anyway, about an hour later I'm good and hammered, dancing with one of my friends. She decides to wear my sunglasses for a while, and steals them. Immediately afterwards I feel the fire of a thousand suns burning in my right eye, and about 500 suns burning in my left. With the bit of vision remaining in my left eye, I can see one of my buddies with the squirt guns laughing in triumph, having just sniped me from 15 feet. Excusing myself, I took a moment to regain my vision, crumpled the edges of my nearly full solo cup, and threw it at him, striking him in the chest and drenching him in beer. When he ascertained who'd thrown it, I pointed at my eyes and his gun, and he nodded fair enough.
user
my buddy shot me in the eyes with liquor, I hit him in the chest with a beer grenade.
assistant
Just a short one here. Last year I was at a party my frat was having, with a beach theme. Some of the older brothers were going around with squirt guns coercing people into having shots fired down their throats. I submitted and suffered, as they apparently had mixed tequila, vodka and whiskey together. 

Anyway, about an hour later I'm good and hammered, dancing with one of my friends. She decides to wear my sunglasses for a while, and steals them. Immediately afterwards I feel the fire of a thousand suns burning in my right eye, and about 500 suns burning in my left. With the bit of vision remaining in my left eye, I can see one of my buddies with the squirt guns laughing in triumph, having just sniped me from 15 feet. Excusing myself, I took a moment to regain my vision, crumpled the edges of my nearly full solo cup, and threw it at him, striking him in the chest and drenching him in beer. When he ascertained who'd thrown it, I pointed at my eyes and his gun, and he nodded fair enough.
user
The only thing worse than being shot in the head with beer is being shot in the head with beer
assistant