It seems like whenever I actively try to initiate contact and talk to women, I get polite rejections or stories that they have boyfriends.  This happens almost all the time (80%+), and the other times I get numbers, and in maybe <30% of those circumstances do I end up getting dates with those women.

But I've found that if I wait long enough (sometimes a *very long* time, as in over a year) I'll eventually find a super cute woman that will chase me down.  It's tough because while I get huge amounts of rejection after asking women, I am also used to having people I'm attracted to pursue me.

Do you often find that it's the case that it's just best to wait until you find someone who seems quite attracted to you, versus continuing to approach women who don't show a lot of initial interest?  I know that eventually I'll find someone who thinks I'm splendid, but getting rejected so often just feels infuriating when I think to myself "(man, I know someone this cool has asked me out before, and while I know people have individual reasons for how they feel, this is still frustrating...)"

I've always heard the common wisdom, that men chase, but ultimately women are the deciding factor in whether a relationship has a chance or not, and I've *definitely* found that this is true.
user
I get tons of rejections and have never been approached by women who were interested first, do you get frustrated waiting around forever, or do you just stay patient and wait until a nice girl
assistant
It seems like whenever I actively try to initiate contact and talk to women, I get polite rejections or stories that they have boyfriends.  This happens almost all the time (80%+), and the other times I get numbers, and in maybe <30% of those circumstances do I end up getting dates with those women.

But I've found that if I wait long enough (sometimes a *very long* time, as in over a year) I'll eventually find a super cute woman that will chase me down.  It's tough because while I get huge amounts of rejection after asking women, I am also used to having people I'm attracted to pursue me.

Do you often find that it's the case that it's just best to wait until you find someone who seems quite attracted to you, versus continuing to approach women who don't show a lot of initial interest?  I know that eventually I'll find someone who thinks I'm splendid, but getting rejected so often just feels infuriating when I think to myself "(man, I know someone this cool has asked me out before, and while I know people have individual reasons for how they feel, this is still frustrating...)"

I've always heard the common wisdom, that men chase, but ultimately women are the deciding factor in whether a relationship has a chance or not, and I've *definitely* found that this is true.
user
Is there a difference between getting rejected as a result of a lack of initial interest, versus a lack of opportunities to find someone who's interested, and then wait for them to come to me?
assistant