When she first brought up smoking, I didn't think much of it. People quit all the time, and I didn't think we would last long enough for it to be an issue and people quit smoking all the time. This is probably a mistake on my part. 

Recently, I brought up quitting. At first jokingly(funny anti-smoking posters, silly made up statistics on smoking) then more assertively. She always refused, citing that she liked smoking and it was none of my business. She had an answer to all my arguments. Money? "It's my money to spend how I wish" Health? "It's my health, I get to decide what is worth indulging in" I told her last night maybe I didn't feel comfortable dating someone who puts herself at risk for cancer. She turned it around and said that if I loved her, I would accept her for who she is and not whom I want her to be. I think this is bullshit, and she is more than her smoking. But she was on the verge of tears (she usually is when I mention anything related to breaking up), so I backtracked like the non-confrontational little coward I am. The only way I've instilled interest in quitting is when I offered weird kinky sex in return. But it annoys me. Why should I emotionally invest in someone who won't even take proper care of themselves?

Am I being unreasonable here? Can anyone explain her thought process? I feel like she sees this from such a one dimensional perspective. It really bugs me (also manifests in some of our other arguments). Should I break it off? I like her a lot, but the smoking annoys me (I hadn't realize it would be a longterm thing) and I can't stand her arguments. Are there alternatives? All thoughts appreciated.
user
smoking girlfriend wants me to
assistant
When she first brought up smoking, I didn't think much of it. People quit all the time, and I didn't think we would last long enough for it to be an issue and people quit smoking all the time. This is probably a mistake on my part. 

Recently, I brought up quitting. At first jokingly(funny anti-smoking posters, silly made up statistics on smoking) then more assertively. She always refused, citing that she liked smoking and it was none of my business. She had an answer to all my arguments. Money? "It's my money to spend how I wish" Health? "It's my health, I get to decide what is worth indulging in" I told her last night maybe I didn't feel comfortable dating someone who puts herself at risk for cancer. She turned it around and said that if I loved her, I would accept her for who she is and not whom I want her to be. I think this is bullshit, and she is more than her smoking. But she was on the verge of tears (she usually is when I mention anything related to breaking up), so I backtracked like the non-confrontational little coward I am. The only way I've instilled interest in quitting is when I offered weird kinky sex in return. But it annoys me. Why should I emotionally invest in someone who won't even take proper care of themselves?

Am I being unreasonable here? Can anyone explain her thought process? I feel like she sees this from such a one dimensional perspective. It really bugs me (also manifests in some of our other arguments). Should I break it off? I like her a lot, but the smoking annoys me (I hadn't realize it would be a longterm thing) and I can't stand her arguments. Are there alternatives? All thoughts appreciated.
user
My girlfriend won't stop smoking
assistant