Hi,

When I first started seeing my girlfriend it was off Tinder. I was talking with another girl at the time who was not in the area and hadn't had the chance to meet in person.

I told my GF pretty quickly about this situation and she was receptive to my honesty. We weren't serious or anything and so at that point we had no commitment to each other.

A few weeks passed and we were getting closer, I told her I was going to meet up with the other girl but didn't have any intention of pursuing her and I just wanted to tell girl B the situation and not just cut off communication. At that point I asked my (now) GF if she was seeing anyone else and she shook her head. I didn't really see it as a definitive answer and as we hadn't really discussed commitment I wasn't really that phased.

So fast forward a few months and we are discussing that period of time. Apparently she had had a FWB type situation going on for months before we met and that was kind of overlapping during that time. She wasn't seeing him for sex and was avoiding seeing him but she was uncertain if talking to him or going to concerts with him (they like the same music) was "seeing someone" so I got a head shake response. Turned out that she hadn't been sexual with him since we first met but that was by chance rather than any formal commitment.

What's been bothering me though is that I'm not sure if the head shake was a lack of openness. I would generally interpret a headshake as a no but that wasn't really the truth. Since then she has been open in any discussion we have so I don't know why this still hangs around in my thoughts.

Any suggestions?
user
ages ago now girlfriend, then dating, shook her head in response to a pretty significant question. Turned out
assistant
Hi,

When I first started seeing my girlfriend it was off Tinder. I was talking with another girl at the time who was not in the area and hadn't had the chance to meet in person.

I told my GF pretty quickly about this situation and she was receptive to my honesty. We weren't serious or anything and so at that point we had no commitment to each other.

A few weeks passed and we were getting closer, I told her I was going to meet up with the other girl but didn't have any intention of pursuing her and I just wanted to tell girl B the situation and not just cut off communication. At that point I asked my (now) GF if she was seeing anyone else and she shook her head. I didn't really see it as a definitive answer and as we hadn't really discussed commitment I wasn't really that phased.

So fast forward a few months and we are discussing that period of time. Apparently she had had a FWB type situation going on for months before we met and that was kind of overlapping during that time. She wasn't seeing him for sex and was avoiding seeing him but she was uncertain if talking to him or going to concerts with him (they like the same music) was "seeing someone" so I got a head shake response. Turned out that she hadn't been sexual with him since we first met but that was by chance rather than any formal commitment.

What's been bothering me though is that I'm not sure if the head shake was a lack of openness. I would generally interpret a headshake as a no but that wasn't really the truth. Since then she has been open in any discussion we have so I don't know why this still hangs around in my thoughts.

Any suggestions?
user
GF wasn't really open about a sexual relationship with another guy but has been open about our relationship.
assistant