Im in my early 20's and im exclusively attracted to boys ~8-14 in every way, i have never molested any kid and i have no plans in doing so, i have never being molested myself either. 

   I usually isolate myself from the world, just stay at home playing video games all day but recently i participated in a activity related with kids (nothing bad happend, again me sexually assaulting a kid its not the issue) and it made me realize how lonely i am, i just love boys, i love teaching things to them, looking after them or just being friends. This was a one time thing and im not looking to repeat it because, even though a had a great time and really enjoyed spending time making kids happy i felt like shit afterwards never before i felt so damn lonely. 

   The real problem is that i have no interest in life, i just dont see the point of living forever alone and not being able to express my feelings, i would just stay at home waiting to die, and this is what is causing a lot of troubles because my parents, they both know about my feelings, want me to go out there and have a life, they want me to go to the college and have a career and im going because they sent me but with awful results, im doing really really bad, and i can tell the increasing stress and emotional tension my parents are going through so im asking what should i do. I have been in therapy many times with many different doctors but none has provided useful help or lasted very long, mainly because i know that nothing its going to change the way i am.
user
i feel lonely and i am building up a lot of stress and anxiety, im developing a serious problem with my parents who sent me to therapy but nothing has helped or lasted long because im doing really
assistant
Im in my early 20's and im exclusively attracted to boys ~8-14 in every way, i have never molested any kid and i have no plans in doing so, i have never being molested myself either. 

   I usually isolate myself from the world, just stay at home playing video games all day but recently i participated in a activity related with kids (nothing bad happend, again me sexually assaulting a kid its not the issue) and it made me realize how lonely i am, i just love boys, i love teaching things to them, looking after them or just being friends. This was a one time thing and im not looking to repeat it because, even though a had a great time and really enjoyed spending time making kids happy i felt like shit afterwards never before i felt so damn lonely. 

   The real problem is that i have no interest in life, i just dont see the point of living forever alone and not being able to express my feelings, i would just stay at home waiting to die, and this is what is causing a lot of troubles because my parents, they both know about my feelings, want me to go out there and have a life, they want me to go to the college and have a career and im going because they sent me but with awful results, im doing really really bad, and i can tell the increasing stress and emotional tension my parents are going through so im asking what should i do. I have been in therapy many times with many different doctors but none has provided useful help or lasted very long, mainly because i know that nothing its going to change the way i am.
user
Im a virgin and attracted to boys, parents want me to be able to live a happy life, they dont know how i feel, what should i do?
assistant