No matter how valid my concerns might be, I feel that I need to learn how to bring them up to people in a better way. Throughout my life my parents have called me a "martyr" and I think I finally understand why (from their perspective). Me being like this has given me issues in my relationships with people like my parents, brothers, friends and girlfriends.  
  
Simple example:  
Was riding a tandem bike with a friend. He's not very experienced with bikes and was barely pedaling. I said "Dude are you even pedaling?" or something like that, probably with some kind of annoyed tone. His reply was "Sorry. You can just tell me to pedal harder."  His response struck a chord.
I think I came off kind of rude but had absolutely no intention to do so. Why didn't I just ask him to pedal harder in a friendlier way?  
  
I think I'm allowing my frustration and stress with *other* things affect the way I speak to people sometimes. The person might even be the cause of this stress but still, I want to start approaching things more calmly and to the point (not by relating it so some other issue, which I do sometimes). I want to voice my concerns in a manner that is detached from other issues and feelings because... they *are* detached from other issues in my life and maybe other issues with this person.
  
I would love to be more conscious of this and change. I have tried but I don't even realize I'm doing it. Help? Thanks!
user
I sometimes
assistant
No matter how valid my concerns might be, I feel that I need to learn how to bring them up to people in a better way. Throughout my life my parents have called me a "martyr" and I think I finally understand why (from their perspective). Me being like this has given me issues in my relationships with people like my parents, brothers, friends and girlfriends.  
  
Simple example:  
Was riding a tandem bike with a friend. He's not very experienced with bikes and was barely pedaling. I said "Dude are you even pedaling?" or something like that, probably with some kind of annoyed tone. His reply was "Sorry. You can just tell me to pedal harder."  His response struck a chord.
I think I came off kind of rude but had absolutely no intention to do so. Why didn't I just ask him to pedal harder in a friendlier way?  
  
I think I'm allowing my frustration and stress with *other* things affect the way I speak to people sometimes. The person might even be the cause of this stress but still, I want to start approaching things more calmly and to the point (not by relating it so some other issue, which I do sometimes). I want to voice my concerns in a manner that is detached from other issues and feelings because... they *are* detached from other issues in my life and maybe other issues with this person.
  
I would love to be more conscious of this and change. I have tried but I don't even realize I'm doing it. Help? Thanks!
user
I say
assistant