So, my SO and I have been together for nearly 5 years. Very good relationship, we love each other very much. We are also in an open relationship, which I thought I would be fine with. And as far as what he has done, it is totally fine. However, I messed up. I fell pretty hard for another guy, and when he wanted more from me, I said I couldn't and he broke it off. Only now, I find myself struggling with a part of me that wants to leave my SO for the other guy. Even though, my SO is a way better match for me, and consciously I'm aware of that, but I can't get these desires out of my head. 

Not only that, but I ended up doing this before with another guy. I did actually leave, realized my mistake and he took me back. So, I am two for three (there was another that I did fine with, no messy feelings or anything). 

I told him about how I felt, and he was understandably upset. When it's just us, he makes me SO happy. He's kind, intelligent, beautiful, patient, and I love him dearly. Then, once in a while, I get this stupid desire for another guy, even though consciously I know it's a dumb idea on multiple levels, and it is a struggle. When we were talking, he suggested I might be polyamorous, as I would be happiest if I could keep both my SO and this other guy. I don't know... but my questions are:

1) Does anyone else struggle with seemingly cyclical doubts about the future?

2) Does anyone else have significant trouble with desires for other people (whether open relationship or not) and have everything be okay?

3) Does this necessarily mean my SO and I are not suitable for the long term? Or is this just an unavoidable part of the experience for some people?
user
In an
assistant
So, my SO and I have been together for nearly 5 years. Very good relationship, we love each other very much. We are also in an open relationship, which I thought I would be fine with. And as far as what he has done, it is totally fine. However, I messed up. I fell pretty hard for another guy, and when he wanted more from me, I said I couldn't and he broke it off. Only now, I find myself struggling with a part of me that wants to leave my SO for the other guy. Even though, my SO is a way better match for me, and consciously I'm aware of that, but I can't get these desires out of my head. 

Not only that, but I ended up doing this before with another guy. I did actually leave, realized my mistake and he took me back. So, I am two for three (there was another that I did fine with, no messy feelings or anything). 

I told him about how I felt, and he was understandably upset. When it's just us, he makes me SO happy. He's kind, intelligent, beautiful, patient, and I love him dearly. Then, once in a while, I get this stupid desire for another guy, even though consciously I know it's a dumb idea on multiple levels, and it is a struggle. When we were talking, he suggested I might be polyamorous, as I would be happiest if I could keep both my SO and this other guy. I don't know... but my questions are:

1) Does anyone else struggle with seemingly cyclical doubts about the future?

2) Does anyone else have significant trouble with desires for other people (whether open relationship or not) and have everything be okay?

3) Does this necessarily mean my SO and I are not suitable for the long term? Or is this just an unavoidable part of the experience for some people?
user
I've had
assistant