My fiance Ed and I are getting married in about a year and I have started working on wedding preparations in our home on the east coast while he finishes up his contract on the west coast (been LDR for 6 months but he comes home soon!!).

He has a 12 year old daughter and she and I met last summer but haven't gotten to spend much time together. We're hoping to build that relationship more in the months after he comes back home. 

I really want her at the wedding and really really want her involved in the ceremony. It's my goal to have her feel like we're creating a family instead of feeling like I'm stealing her dad away.

My concern is how to navigate her being there because Ed doesn't have any family beyond his daughter (never had a dad, mom passed away, no siblings, no aunts/uncles/cousins he's in touch with). I want her involved as much as possible (I really want her in the wedding party as a junior bridesmaid) but I know we're going to be busy with a million things and I'm worried she'll be bored or anxious because of so many people she doesn't know being around. I also don't know what would happen that night as far as arrangements for her to get home. For this reason, I thought maybe it would be worthwhile to invite her mother Jamie and her mother's boyfriend.

Jamie and Ed get along well. They are civil to each other at worst, friendly at best. Their marriage ended 8 years ago and the divorce was mutual and uncontested. I've spoken to her a few times and she's always been pleasant.

At the same time, I can't imagine being invited to an ex's wedding (or wanting to go). Or seeing my kid (if I had one) be part of the bridal party.

I'm going to talk to Ed about it (he doesn't even know I'm working on the guest list yet, I'm trying to have preliminary planning done when he gets home in July so that we can go over what I have so far and make adjustments as needed), but I wanted some feedback on whether this would be inappropriate or if there's anything anyone can think of that might help.
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I'm starting to plan
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My fiance Ed and I are getting married in about a year and I have started working on wedding preparations in our home on the east coast while he finishes up his contract on the west coast (been LDR for 6 months but he comes home soon!!).

He has a 12 year old daughter and she and I met last summer but haven't gotten to spend much time together. We're hoping to build that relationship more in the months after he comes back home. 

I really want her at the wedding and really really want her involved in the ceremony. It's my goal to have her feel like we're creating a family instead of feeling like I'm stealing her dad away.

My concern is how to navigate her being there because Ed doesn't have any family beyond his daughter (never had a dad, mom passed away, no siblings, no aunts/uncles/cousins he's in touch with). I want her involved as much as possible (I really want her in the wedding party as a junior bridesmaid) but I know we're going to be busy with a million things and I'm worried she'll be bored or anxious because of so many people she doesn't know being around. I also don't know what would happen that night as far as arrangements for her to get home. For this reason, I thought maybe it would be worthwhile to invite her mother Jamie and her mother's boyfriend.

Jamie and Ed get along well. They are civil to each other at worst, friendly at best. Their marriage ended 8 years ago and the divorce was mutual and uncontested. I've spoken to her a few times and she's always been pleasant.

At the same time, I can't imagine being invited to an ex's wedding (or wanting to go). Or seeing my kid (if I had one) be part of the bridal party.

I'm going to talk to Ed about it (he doesn't even know I'm working on the guest list yet, I'm trying to have preliminary planning done when he gets home in July so that we can go over what I have so far and make adjustments as needed), but I wanted some feedback on whether this would be inappropriate or if there's anything anyone can think of that might help.
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fiance wants me to
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