I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday after a 4.5 year relationship. After months of feeling trapped, controlled and under emotional abuse from her, I had to end it. I was 100% ready to end it after all the time I spent being unhappy with her. She however, was completely blindsided by it because she thought everything was fine and took it as a sudden thing. We had talked about my issues in the past but she never really took anything I said seriouslyrics and always assumed I was fine because I don't really show much emotion. 

More toward the main point, I am feeling such a strange mix of things and I don't understand them. On one side, I feel free and relieved that I don't have to worry about being chronically stressed out anymore because of her. I feel like I'm my own person for the first time in YEARS. The other side of me keeps remembering the way she reacted when I broke up with her. It was the most horrible feeling thing I had ever done. Even though I don't love her anymore, watching her cry the way she did is almost haunting to think about. 

What I'm asking, is that are these feelings normal after a breakup like this? I've never broken up with someone before, and I don't know if the way I'm feeling is normal after this situation.
user
Broke up with girlfriend, feeling a mixed bunch of emotions - relieved and relieved, but also feeling like I'm my own person for the
assistant
I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday after a 4.5 year relationship. After months of feeling trapped, controlled and under emotional abuse from her, I had to end it. I was 100% ready to end it after all the time I spent being unhappy with her. She however, was completely blindsided by it because she thought everything was fine and took it as a sudden thing. We had talked about my issues in the past but she never really took anything I said seriouslyrics and always assumed I was fine because I don't really show much emotion. 

More toward the main point, I am feeling such a strange mix of things and I don't understand them. On one side, I feel free and relieved that I don't have to worry about being chronically stressed out anymore because of her. I feel like I'm my own person for the first time in YEARS. The other side of me keeps remembering the way she reacted when I broke up with her. It was the most horrible feeling thing I had ever done. Even though I don't love her anymore, watching her cry the way she did is almost haunting to think about. 

What I'm asking, is that are these feelings normal after a breakup like this? I've never broken up with someone before, and I don't know if the way I'm feeling is normal after this situation.
user
Ended relationship with ex, feel free and relieved but also like I'm my own person for the first time in years.
assistant