Hi r/relationships! I really need your collective wisdom on this one. My boyfriend and I have had a wonderful relationship and I trusted him completely up until we went out with a group of friends to a bar on New Years Eve. 

Without going into too much detail, I saw him texting a girl who he "used to be involved with" (which he told me after) and he first lied about texting her at all in the first place (the only way I knew is because I saw him switch to Facebook immediately and say he wasn't texting anyone), then deleted the conversation as soon as I realized I was on to him. After that the story of what they were texting about kept changing from "an offense message I wouldn't want to see" to "it was a picture message that didn't come through". I saw a quick glance of the screen though and there were longer messages back and forth than that.

I really don't care he was texting his ex, but it really concerns me that he was trying to cover it up and keeps lying about what they were talking about. I can't help but think the worst. Why else would he delete the conversation unless he had something serious to hide?

It's been a couple days and he's really trying to be nice and apologize to make it up to me. Everything is fine now, but the next time I see him on his phone or he goes away for the weekend without me I can't help but feel anxious ... I also can't help but feel like he really isn't sorry at all, he's probably just sorry he got caught. Is this something I can forgive given our otherwise perfect track record? Or is this a red flag I shouldn't ignore? I'm at a total loss to do and could really use some outside advice. 

Also I should add, he did try to recover the texts but it took a long time on the wifi here (we left Jan 1 on vacation to visit friends in Florida) then he said he had to pay money to get them back so we kind of dropped it.
user
caught boyfriend lying about texting his ex, then deleted the conversation and the story about what they
assistant
Hi r/relationships! I really need your collective wisdom on this one. My boyfriend and I have had a wonderful relationship and I trusted him completely up until we went out with a group of friends to a bar on New Years Eve. 

Without going into too much detail, I saw him texting a girl who he "used to be involved with" (which he told me after) and he first lied about texting her at all in the first place (the only way I knew is because I saw him switch to Facebook immediately and say he wasn't texting anyone), then deleted the conversation as soon as I realized I was on to him. After that the story of what they were texting about kept changing from "an offense message I wouldn't want to see" to "it was a picture message that didn't come through". I saw a quick glance of the screen though and there were longer messages back and forth than that.

I really don't care he was texting his ex, but it really concerns me that he was trying to cover it up and keeps lying about what they were talking about. I can't help but think the worst. Why else would he delete the conversation unless he had something serious to hide?

It's been a couple days and he's really trying to be nice and apologize to make it up to me. Everything is fine now, but the next time I see him on his phone or he goes away for the weekend without me I can't help but feel anxious ... I also can't help but feel like he really isn't sorry at all, he's probably just sorry he got caught. Is this something I can forgive given our otherwise perfect track record? Or is this a red flag I shouldn't ignore? I'm at a total loss to do and could really use some outside advice. 

Also I should add, he did try to recover the texts but it took a long time on the wifi here (we left Jan 1 on vacation to visit friends in Florida) then he said he had to pay money to get them back so we kind of dropped it.
user
Found out boyfriend was lying/ texting his ex on NYE, wanted to give him a second chance
assistant