I know it is a can of worms that should remain unopened. But about a month ago, we discussed our sexual history.

We have been together for a year now, and "talking" for about two years. She is the first person I have ever been with. And I am her eighteenth.

I appreciate her honesty and I did not slut-shame her. She said she really hated that she did what she did and felt overall really shitty about it when she was telling me. She suffers from BPD, and went through a pretty manic state a couple years ago, where she had the majority of her eighteen partners.
I couldn't say she was my first after she told me i was her eighteenth, so i said she was my 3rd.

We are working hard to be in a mature, loving relationship. But since she told me, I have been thinking about it almost every night, beating myself up over it. I don't know why exactly. I love her and she loves me. And I still want to be with her.

Then, last week, the convo came up again. I of course told her she was my most recent (3rd of 3). And she said I am not (15th of 18). We started having sex about four months before we got together. And for reasons unknown, we agreed to just be fuck buddies. So it's not like she didn't have the right, but still. It is eating me alive that someone who loves me as much as she does now could have slept with three more dudes since our first time, while I remained devoted since.

I am just seeking advice because these thoughts are really bothering me. I tried talking to her about it last night, but she just got really shamed and called herself a slut, hoe, whore, dumb bitch with daddy problems.

Clearly, she's been slut-shamed more than enough as its now internalized. So that's not what I wanted to do. I ended up just comforting her for feeling so shitty.
user
I am having
assistant
I know it is a can of worms that should remain unopened. But about a month ago, we discussed our sexual history.

We have been together for a year now, and "talking" for about two years. She is the first person I have ever been with. And I am her eighteenth.

I appreciate her honesty and I did not slut-shame her. She said she really hated that she did what she did and felt overall really shitty about it when she was telling me. She suffers from BPD, and went through a pretty manic state a couple years ago, where she had the majority of her eighteen partners.
I couldn't say she was my first after she told me i was her eighteenth, so i said she was my 3rd.

We are working hard to be in a mature, loving relationship. But since she told me, I have been thinking about it almost every night, beating myself up over it. I don't know why exactly. I love her and she loves me. And I still want to be with her.

Then, last week, the convo came up again. I of course told her she was my most recent (3rd of 3). And she said I am not (15th of 18). We started having sex about four months before we got together. And for reasons unknown, we agreed to just be fuck buddies. So it's not like she didn't have the right, but still. It is eating me alive that someone who loves me as much as she does now could have slept with three more dudes since our first time, while I remained devoted since.

I am just seeking advice because these thoughts are really bothering me. I tried talking to her about it last night, but she just got really shamed and called herself a slut, hoe, whore, dumb bitch with daddy problems.

Clearly, she's been slut-shamed more than enough as its now internalized. So that's not what I wanted to do. I ended up just comforting her for feeling so shitty.
user
My girlfriend told
assistant