Alt account because we met on reddit.

We met because we shared similar problems and got along that way by chatting about it, helping each other out and sharing a few similar interests. She used to self harm but luckily she doesn't anymore, she can have anxiety and major depressive episodes from things like her abusive parents, leading her to consider suicide. Every time I try my best to help hear out and talk about it but this time she has shut down completely and won't respond much. I'm guessing it's some defense mechanism of hers. 

She doesn't have many friends it seems and it makes me feel guilty when I want to end a friendship just because it makes me feel a lot worse; it's not that there aren't good things but they are few. Shouldn't people help each other out despite that? It makes me feel helpless when she shuts down like this, incredibly sad for her, scared but also angry because it feels like she won't let me be her friend. Her being half way on the other side of the planet doesn't help either.

It also makes me angry that we don't talk much in general because of excuses she gives. I'm on the spectrum so handling a situation like this is way beyond me. I can only really have one friend at a time. My psychiatrist has been telling me for a long time that people on the internet are not real friends. I wanted to prove him wrong but I don't know anymore.

Am I bad person for wanting to end contact and making friends with people in real life that don't make me feel shitty and actually want to spend time with me? Should I maintain contact despite me being useless when it comes to her mental problems?
user
Mentally ill online friend with similar problems as
assistant
Alt account because we met on reddit.

We met because we shared similar problems and got along that way by chatting about it, helping each other out and sharing a few similar interests. She used to self harm but luckily she doesn't anymore, she can have anxiety and major depressive episodes from things like her abusive parents, leading her to consider suicide. Every time I try my best to help hear out and talk about it but this time she has shut down completely and won't respond much. I'm guessing it's some defense mechanism of hers. 

She doesn't have many friends it seems and it makes me feel guilty when I want to end a friendship just because it makes me feel a lot worse; it's not that there aren't good things but they are few. Shouldn't people help each other out despite that? It makes me feel helpless when she shuts down like this, incredibly sad for her, scared but also angry because it feels like she won't let me be her friend. Her being half way on the other side of the planet doesn't help either.

It also makes me angry that we don't talk much in general because of excuses she gives. I'm on the spectrum so handling a situation like this is way beyond me. I can only really have one friend at a time. My psychiatrist has been telling me for a long time that people on the internet are not real friends. I wanted to prove him wrong but I don't know anymore.

Am I bad person for wanting to end contact and making friends with people in real life that don't make me feel shitty and actually want to spend time with me? Should I maintain contact despite me being useless when it comes to her mental problems?
user
How do I end a 3-4 year long
assistant