I have this good friend, we'll call him Steve. I really like him. But for various reasons (namely that I'm not allowed to, but also because I'm somewhat busy with school, volunteering, scholarship essays, etc) I don't want us to go out. I've told him this. I've said I like him and would like to date if we were older (and not about to leave for college in the next year), but right now I just want to be friends. I've told him this multiple times, also that he should date whomever because I won't want to date for at least several years (this part was just something I told him, I don't have some hard and fast dating rule, besides 'not now.') (For the record, he did date someone after I said this, but they broke up like a week ago and he asked if I still just wanted to be friends.) 

In retrospect, should I have lied about liking him? I don't wang to lead him on. I guess I am and I hate myself for that. But I didn't want to lie and pretend I don't like him. Sometimes we hug and hold hands, which I know is a relationship thing, but I really like it! Should I stop? 

Am I being mean and cruel here? Should I pretend to not like him so that he isn't possibly holding onto some hope that I'll change my mind? I think I've communicated it but I think in the back of his mind he might be holding out for 'us' even though I've said not to.
user
I really like my friend, but I
assistant
I have this good friend, we'll call him Steve. I really like him. But for various reasons (namely that I'm not allowed to, but also because I'm somewhat busy with school, volunteering, scholarship essays, etc) I don't want us to go out. I've told him this. I've said I like him and would like to date if we were older (and not about to leave for college in the next year), but right now I just want to be friends. I've told him this multiple times, also that he should date whomever because I won't want to date for at least several years (this part was just something I told him, I don't have some hard and fast dating rule, besides 'not now.') (For the record, he did date someone after I said this, but they broke up like a week ago and he asked if I still just wanted to be friends.) 

In retrospect, should I have lied about liking him? I don't wang to lead him on. I guess I am and I hate myself for that. But I didn't want to lie and pretend I don't like him. Sometimes we hug and hold hands, which I know is a relationship thing, but I really like it! Should I stop? 

Am I being mean and cruel here? Should I pretend to not like him so that he isn't possibly holding onto some hope that I'll change my mind? I think I've communicated it but I think in the back of his mind he might be holding out for 'us' even though I've said not to.
user
Sometimes my friend and I hug and
assistant