My grandma and I have always been on good terms, and I was very close with her as a child. We live five minutes from each other though and only visit on birthdays or special occasions. I hate that because I love her very much and we get along so well. I just had lunch with just her today for the first time ever, and it made me realize how amazing she is and how lucky I am. But I'm terrified to get super close because I know she won't always be here. I can't imagine losing her now, but to lose her when I'm super close to her? It'd be devastating.

I've lost many people in my life, but it was always guilt that I had to deal with. I lost my great grandfather at 8, and still to this day I'm a mess from it. I never was taught how to grieve the loss of my favorite person. I've lost family friends, as well and it was hard but I wasn't deeply attached to them. I lost my grandfather a couple years ago, and I was very sad but we also weren't very close. He was very active in my life, but as a teenager growing up in the technology age, I didn't want anything to do with his farm or simple lifestyle too much. It was more of a burden to me. I didn't visit him when he was sick, and then he died. So it was just pure guilt and self disgust. It's easier for me to distance myself away from people to protect myself. It's easier for me to get over guilt. But I don't want to do that now.
I had a great lunch with my grandma, but now I'm so sad thinking that one day I won't have her. How do I stop this from interfering with our relationship? How do I stop thinking and worrying about the day I'll have to say goodbye?
user
I'm too scared to get close to my grandma because she'll eventually pass away. How do I stop this from
assistant
My grandma and I have always been on good terms, and I was very close with her as a child. We live five minutes from each other though and only visit on birthdays or special occasions. I hate that because I love her very much and we get along so well. I just had lunch with just her today for the first time ever, and it made me realize how amazing she is and how lucky I am. But I'm terrified to get super close because I know she won't always be here. I can't imagine losing her now, but to lose her when I'm super close to her? It'd be devastating.

I've lost many people in my life, but it was always guilt that I had to deal with. I lost my great grandfather at 8, and still to this day I'm a mess from it. I never was taught how to grieve the loss of my favorite person. I've lost family friends, as well and it was hard but I wasn't deeply attached to them. I lost my grandfather a couple years ago, and I was very sad but we also weren't very close. He was very active in my life, but as a teenager growing up in the technology age, I didn't want anything to do with his farm or simple lifestyle too much. It was more of a burden to me. I didn't visit him when he was sick, and then he died. So it was just pure guilt and self disgust. It's easier for me to distance myself away from people to protect myself. It's easier for me to get over guilt. But I don't want to do that now.
I had a great lunch with my grandma, but now I'm so sad thinking that one day I won't have her. How do I stop this from interfering with our relationship? How do I stop thinking and worrying about the day I'll have to say goodbye?
user
I have a great relationship with my grandma, but I'm afraid that one day I'll lose her. I don't want
assistant