Throwaway.

My husband and I have been married for 4 years, and in the beginning we had sex probably 4 to 5 times a week. Lately it's been once a monthish.

A few months ago we got into an argument because he (rightfully) felt neglected, like I wasn't attracted to him, that sex was becoming a chore, etc.

I told him that it was true. I felt like sex was becoming a chore, I was beginning to hate having sex. His favorite positions are any where he's on top/in control which was great, but now that he's gained 80+lbs (He's about 350lbs) I can't breathe with him on top.

We've tried other positions, I've tried being on top but I don't feel like I'm getting the full length...his belly hangs down and partially blocks it or I have to lean myself back to get a better feel (which hurts my back/hips) but none satisfy him like having me on my back, legs up around him, with him bent over me. I've tried lowering my legs slightly, tried variations of that position (laying on my side with him in between my legs) but he always ends up practically laying on top of me so that he can get deeper/go faster (I actually don't know why, it just always ends up that way.)

Anyway, when we talked months ago he said he was going to diet and exercise to lose the weight, and he did for a while, but then work and personal things started stressing him out so he quit.

I don't want to nag him, but we had another talk last night about how we haven't had sex in so long and we miss each other. He thinks that the problem is because of my pregnancy, it's giving me terrible hip/back pain to where I struggle to get up out of bed, but I think it's a combo of that and his weight.

Should I bring it up again? We're going through so much shit right now that I just feel guilty nagging him about his weight but I can't keep pretending like it isn't causing a problem with me.

Help?
user
Husband is very overweight, likes to be on top, but I can't breathe that way. He dieted for a a month before life started getting crazy and he quit. Now he's got complaints about lack of sex but
assistant
Throwaway.

My husband and I have been married for 4 years, and in the beginning we had sex probably 4 to 5 times a week. Lately it's been once a monthish.

A few months ago we got into an argument because he (rightfully) felt neglected, like I wasn't attracted to him, that sex was becoming a chore, etc.

I told him that it was true. I felt like sex was becoming a chore, I was beginning to hate having sex. His favorite positions are any where he's on top/in control which was great, but now that he's gained 80+lbs (He's about 350lbs) I can't breathe with him on top.

We've tried other positions, I've tried being on top but I don't feel like I'm getting the full length...his belly hangs down and partially blocks it or I have to lean myself back to get a better feel (which hurts my back/hips) but none satisfy him like having me on my back, legs up around him, with him bent over me. I've tried lowering my legs slightly, tried variations of that position (laying on my side with him in between my legs) but he always ends up practically laying on top of me so that he can get deeper/go faster (I actually don't know why, it just always ends up that way.)

Anyway, when we talked months ago he said he was going to diet and exercise to lose the weight, and he did for a while, but then work and personal things started stressing him out so he quit.

I don't want to nag him, but we had another talk last night about how we haven't had sex in so long and we miss each other. He thinks that the problem is because of my pregnancy, it's giving me terrible hip/back pain to where I struggle to get up out of bed, but I think it's a combo of that and his weight.

Should I bring it up again? We're going through so much shit right now that I just feel guilty nagging him about his weight but I can't keep pretending like it isn't causing a problem with me.

Help?
user
Husband is obese, sex is boring, can't get out of bed because of pain, don't know how to bring it up.
assistant