Background: My gf and I have been together for 4 years in a somewhat LDR. We went to different colleges in states right next to each other so it wasn't that bad. There was a lot of up and downs and whenever there was a problem, I would usually yield to her and bottle it in (I realize that was a huge mistake). We had a huge disagreement where we both cried (not a fight, we don't insult each other or shout at each other) and took a break about mid-March for a few days. The break was because I felt I might want to be alone and find myself rather than be in a relationship. I decided that was wrong, I love her, and we decided we would make this work and communicate better and compromise a lot more. Our relationships is much more healthier now that we are honest and more upfront with each other.

Problem: Since I used to bottle it in so much, I resented her for not compromising like I did, even though I know the things I asked for were selfish and unreasonable. Gradually I sort of distanced myself. I mean, I was a great boyfriend before, lovey dovey and all that but I feel like as of late, I have lost that type of intimacy. Example would be when she comes home, I'd have lunch ready when I pick her up at the airport, maybe flowers and such. But these occur so often I feel as if they are more of a habit and staying with the status quo rather than genuinely wanting to be spontaneous and doing something nice for her. I want to be able to do that again but I'm not sure how. I used to have all these great ideas about what I should get her, what I can do to make her smile and feel loved but honestly I'm at a lost. Her birthday was recent and I couldn't really think or find anything to get her, even though I took her to a nice fancy restaurant that was wayyyyy out of my budget. Her graduation is literally this week and I can't figure out what I can get her that will make her happy. So Reddit, how do I go about becoming emotionally intimate again and feeling that spark, so to speak?
user
lack of emotional intimacy with gf due to overcontrolling previous behavior & selfish reasons, want to regain it and make her happy again. Need advice
assistant
Background: My gf and I have been together for 4 years in a somewhat LDR. We went to different colleges in states right next to each other so it wasn't that bad. There was a lot of up and downs and whenever there was a problem, I would usually yield to her and bottle it in (I realize that was a huge mistake). We had a huge disagreement where we both cried (not a fight, we don't insult each other or shout at each other) and took a break about mid-March for a few days. The break was because I felt I might want to be alone and find myself rather than be in a relationship. I decided that was wrong, I love her, and we decided we would make this work and communicate better and compromise a lot more. Our relationships is much more healthier now that we are honest and more upfront with each other.

Problem: Since I used to bottle it in so much, I resented her for not compromising like I did, even though I know the things I asked for were selfish and unreasonable. Gradually I sort of distanced myself. I mean, I was a great boyfriend before, lovey dovey and all that but I feel like as of late, I have lost that type of intimacy. Example would be when she comes home, I'd have lunch ready when I pick her up at the airport, maybe flowers and such. But these occur so often I feel as if they are more of a habit and staying with the status quo rather than genuinely wanting to be spontaneous and doing something nice for her. I want to be able to do that again but I'm not sure how. I used to have all these great ideas about what I should get her, what I can do to make her smile and feel loved but honestly I'm at a lost. Her birthday was recent and I couldn't really think or find anything to get her, even though I took her to a nice fancy restaurant that was wayyyyy out of my budget. Her graduation is literally this week and I can't figure out what I can get her that will make her happy. So Reddit, how do I go about becoming emotionally intimate again and feeling that spark, so to speak?
user
LDR gf and I have not been intimate due to selfish reasons. Trying to fix it via communication/ more honesty. Need advice on how to
assistant