For some context I'm  23/m and girlfriend 22, we've been together for three years. Fantastic relationship, healthy in every way I can think of. We don't live together (she still lives with parents) but see each other regularly (2+times/week) and everything's hunky dory.

However recently things have become very difficult. In the near past my dad passed away (I genuinely don't know if this is relevant). And I think on many levels this has meant that our relationship has become strained, and maybe feeds into what comes next.

But regardless a few nights ago, I invited her over to my apt. so I could cook dinner, mostly to feel like a normal person. The night was great, we laughed and we had a great time. But at some point I made a joke about watching porn. My girlfriend's response was total shock.

It appears to mostly be at the concept of me watching porn at all. It's not something that I do a lot, nor do I watch anything insanely out there. But still she's become very upset. She has said that this has come out of nowhere and that I've never mentioned it and it's a shock, which I understand, but still her response has - in turn - shocked me. I've got text messages about how she "can't sleep." and is "Crying all the time. "  about this issue.

I've tried to address all of her concerns, or how I would see her concerns, but to no avail. Namely that I don't compare her to girls in porn, that it's never something that has affected our relationship. 

To things like this she's mentioned how watching porn inevitably leads to watching more extreme porn and how that becomes bad for relationships. My attempts to point out how this is a flawed logic have failed and that I see watching porn or masturbating as totally separate from our sexual relationship. And in fact her somewhat puritanical views have really shocked me.

At the end of the day, reddit, I don't know what to do. We're not a couple who argue a lot, and this has all kind of blind-sided me. so... help?
user
Long-term girlfriend found out I've watched porn - is way, way, way more upset and offended that I would expect
assistant
For some context I'm  23/m and girlfriend 22, we've been together for three years. Fantastic relationship, healthy in every way I can think of. We don't live together (she still lives with parents) but see each other regularly (2+times/week) and everything's hunky dory.

However recently things have become very difficult. In the near past my dad passed away (I genuinely don't know if this is relevant). And I think on many levels this has meant that our relationship has become strained, and maybe feeds into what comes next.

But regardless a few nights ago, I invited her over to my apt. so I could cook dinner, mostly to feel like a normal person. The night was great, we laughed and we had a great time. But at some point I made a joke about watching porn. My girlfriend's response was total shock.

It appears to mostly be at the concept of me watching porn at all. It's not something that I do a lot, nor do I watch anything insanely out there. But still she's become very upset. She has said that this has come out of nowhere and that I've never mentioned it and it's a shock, which I understand, but still her response has - in turn - shocked me. I've got text messages about how she "can't sleep." and is "Crying all the time. "  about this issue.

I've tried to address all of her concerns, or how I would see her concerns, but to no avail. Namely that I don't compare her to girls in porn, that it's never something that has affected our relationship. 

To things like this she's mentioned how watching porn inevitably leads to watching more extreme porn and how that becomes bad for relationships. My attempts to point out how this is a flawed logic have failed and that I see watching porn or masturbating as totally separate from our sexual relationship. And in fact her somewhat puritanical views have really shocked me.

At the end of the day, reddit, I don't know what to do. We're not a couple who argue a lot, and this has all kind of blind-sided me. so... help?
user
Girlfriend upset I've watched porn, can't see it as anything to worry about. However has been very upset by my
assistant