Was a strong relationship and a painful breakup but it was more so just life that led to the break up.  Nothing unforgiving happened and now that I've grown in positive ways and I assume she has, I felt like reaching out.  It's been a bit more than 1 year of no contact, by the way.  I sent a few emails and I wasn't sure if she used the address and I'll admit I wanted to know if she actually read them, so my plan was to use an email tracker for my first attempt at contact and then when I knew she received my messages I would stop; which I have.

It's only been a few days and I'm giving her lots of space to think so she hasn't responded yet, but I'm also feeling guilty and pretty worried that she realized that I did that.  It is mostly invisible to the receiver but it isn't hard to figure it out because the domain the emails are sent through pops up in gmail.  The website timestamps the emails and can do lots of other stuff if needed, so I'm scared she might assume I'm trying to stalk her or obsessing or something.  I had a lot of self esteem issues myself due to mental illness around the time we stopped talking but I've worked through most of my problems that involved other people.

Should I just admit that I used it and explain why?  I can't be sure whether she would understand or get mad..or both.  Or should I just not use it again (like I planned) and let my honesty speak for itself, and if she found out maybe she will put 2 and 2 together.  I'm going to tell her eventually either way just because I feel I should, I just am not sure if this is the time or how to go about it.

And just to add, this is someone that I was extremely close to.  Hard times just shoved us apart and now our trust is gone.
user
should I admit to an ex that I used an email tracker because I don't
assistant
Was a strong relationship and a painful breakup but it was more so just life that led to the break up.  Nothing unforgiving happened and now that I've grown in positive ways and I assume she has, I felt like reaching out.  It's been a bit more than 1 year of no contact, by the way.  I sent a few emails and I wasn't sure if she used the address and I'll admit I wanted to know if she actually read them, so my plan was to use an email tracker for my first attempt at contact and then when I knew she received my messages I would stop; which I have.

It's only been a few days and I'm giving her lots of space to think so she hasn't responded yet, but I'm also feeling guilty and pretty worried that she realized that I did that.  It is mostly invisible to the receiver but it isn't hard to figure it out because the domain the emails are sent through pops up in gmail.  The website timestamps the emails and can do lots of other stuff if needed, so I'm scared she might assume I'm trying to stalk her or obsessing or something.  I had a lot of self esteem issues myself due to mental illness around the time we stopped talking but I've worked through most of my problems that involved other people.

Should I just admit that I used it and explain why?  I can't be sure whether she would understand or get mad..or both.  Or should I just not use it again (like I planned) and let my honesty speak for itself, and if she found out maybe she will put 2 and 2 together.  I'm going to tell her eventually either way just because I feel I should, I just am not sure if this is the time or how to go about it.

And just to add, this is someone that I was extremely close to.  Hard times just shoved us apart and now our trust is gone.
user
I sent an email to my ex asking if she reads it but I'm not
assistant