Okay, so my parents got divorced about four years back. My brother and I are now 25 and 20, respectively. He had already been at college for a year or so by the time the of the divorce, so he wasn't as affected by it, I think. As time went on, I began to see my parents more clearly, and decided that I didn't necessarily agree with my moms incentive to divorce. I know you're not supposed to pick sides, but when your parents are bitterly divided, you're kinda forced to choose. So I've become closer with my dad over the years. Meanwhile, my brother is closer with my mom and seems to align with her views on the divorce. I don't resent my mom or my dad and I may not agree with my mom but I'm still friendly with her. A few months ago, my brother drops this bombshell on me, "it has always seemed like you and dad have been closer." He admits that he hasn't had much of a relationship with our dad, and I can tell it takes him effort to say it. I feel guilty now whenever it's just me and my dad. Whenever I'm with them both, I can tell there's some strain. I try to mend their relationship by talking to both of them (not at once), but my brother has said that he's okay with not strengthening the relationship, and my dad doesn't seem to care. I hate that everyone's so divided but what can you do. I realize that it's probably unlikely that my mom and dad will be getting along any time soon, but am I wrong for trying to keep a family together as best as possible? Should I just leave things alone? Is it my fault for choosing sides in the first place? My brother gives me the guilt trip about my dad, but then turns around and says he's fine the way things are. I'm confused. I need an outsiders perspective. You guys seem to be a pretty knowledgable so I need some advice on this reddit.
user
I feel guilty that I spend a lot of time with my dad when I don't really have a
assistant
Okay, so my parents got divorced about four years back. My brother and I are now 25 and 20, respectively. He had already been at college for a year or so by the time the of the divorce, so he wasn't as affected by it, I think. As time went on, I began to see my parents more clearly, and decided that I didn't necessarily agree with my moms incentive to divorce. I know you're not supposed to pick sides, but when your parents are bitterly divided, you're kinda forced to choose. So I've become closer with my dad over the years. Meanwhile, my brother is closer with my mom and seems to align with her views on the divorce. I don't resent my mom or my dad and I may not agree with my mom but I'm still friendly with her. A few months ago, my brother drops this bombshell on me, "it has always seemed like you and dad have been closer." He admits that he hasn't had much of a relationship with our dad, and I can tell it takes him effort to say it. I feel guilty now whenever it's just me and my dad. Whenever I'm with them both, I can tell there's some strain. I try to mend their relationship by talking to both of them (not at once), but my brother has said that he's okay with not strengthening the relationship, and my dad doesn't seem to care. I hate that everyone's so divided but what can you do. I realize that it's probably unlikely that my mom and dad will be getting along any time soon, but am I wrong for trying to keep a family together as best as possible? Should I just leave things alone? Is it my fault for choosing sides in the first place? My brother gives me the guilt trip about my dad, but then turns around and says he's fine the way things are. I'm confused. I need an outsiders perspective. You guys seem to be a pretty knowledgable so I need some advice on this reddit.
user
my brother and I have become fairly close, and I don't know how I should deal with it.
assistant