I went through my first breakup with a (now) 27m about a year and a half ago; we had been together for three years. I haven't seen or spoken to him once since then. The breakup fucked with me for a while but after some time I realized that it was really the best thing for me. Currently I'm in a relationship with someone who's a perfect match for me (we also live together) and I'm happier than I've maybe ever been. Life is good, and it's taken a lot for me to get to a point where I can say that.

But...

I still think about my ex every day. Not wistfully; I don't have feelings for him anymore; I've realized that a lot of things about our relationship that I thought were normal at the time were actually super unhealthy. But every day I'll see something that will make me think, "oh, I remember when Ex and I..." or "Ex would probably like/not like this" or "if Ex was here he would probably say..." It's seriously driving me crazy. I have no desire to have this person back in my life but these relatively innocuous thoughts keep popping up. At this point it's so bad that I have an automatic association between my ex and intrusive thoughts, so that if I think about intrusive thoughts it turns into "just like how I keep thinking about my ex". It's absurd and feels immature, not to mention unfair to my boyfriend, who is an incredible guy and without a doubt the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I guess it's really bothering me because while I was in the throes of the breakup all my friends were telling me "you'll just wake up one day and realize you haven't thought about him for weeks!" and I kind of set that as my benchmark for being over it. I don't think I've even made it past sunset without having him pop into my head somehow, let alone multiple days. It just seems and feels really unhealthy.
user
I'm over a year
assistant
I went through my first breakup with a (now) 27m about a year and a half ago; we had been together for three years. I haven't seen or spoken to him once since then. The breakup fucked with me for a while but after some time I realized that it was really the best thing for me. Currently I'm in a relationship with someone who's a perfect match for me (we also live together) and I'm happier than I've maybe ever been. Life is good, and it's taken a lot for me to get to a point where I can say that.

But...

I still think about my ex every day. Not wistfully; I don't have feelings for him anymore; I've realized that a lot of things about our relationship that I thought were normal at the time were actually super unhealthy. But every day I'll see something that will make me think, "oh, I remember when Ex and I..." or "Ex would probably like/not like this" or "if Ex was here he would probably say..." It's seriously driving me crazy. I have no desire to have this person back in my life but these relatively innocuous thoughts keep popping up. At this point it's so bad that I have an automatic association between my ex and intrusive thoughts, so that if I think about intrusive thoughts it turns into "just like how I keep thinking about my ex". It's absurd and feels immature, not to mention unfair to my boyfriend, who is an incredible guy and without a doubt the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I guess it's really bothering me because while I was in the throes of the breakup all my friends were telling me "you'll just wake up one day and realize you haven't thought about him for weeks!" and I kind of set that as my benchmark for being over it. I don't think I've even made it past sunset without having him pop into my head somehow, let alone multiple days. It just seems and feels really unhealthy.
user
A year and a
assistant