Title says it all. If my fiancée tries to tell me something and I don't want to hear it, I shut down. That's the best way I can describe it. I get really defensive and focus on one thing that was said, or that she's done, and it clouds everything that I could do to try and fix it. 

By the time I realize what's happening,  it's too late, and she's already incredibly upset and irritated. We've been dating for over 2 years now and honestly,  every fight we have had has been like this. It's wearing us both out to the point of apathy, and that isn't what I want. I want this to work. I want to fix this, I just don't know how to change my defensiveness.
user
When my fiancée tells me something I don't want to hear, I focus on one thing she's said or done, not the big picture and I need help changing my
assistant
Title says it all. If my fiancée tries to tell me something and I don't want to hear it, I shut down. That's the best way I can describe it. I get really defensive and focus on one thing that was said, or that she's done, and it clouds everything that I could do to try and fix it. 

By the time I realize what's happening,  it's too late, and she's already incredibly upset and irritated. We've been dating for over 2 years now and honestly,  every fight we have had has been like this. It's wearing us both out to the point of apathy, and that isn't what I want. I want this to work. I want to fix this, I just don't know how to change my defensiveness.
user
I don't want to hear what anyone else wants to hear.
assistant