We had been together for six years. We basically grew up together, and we had seen our worst and best sides.

On our 4th year, I started to have an affair with one of his friends, S for about five months. We got caught, and then S ended it. I wanted to spill every details to my boyfriend, but he said that it wasn't necessary, and that he didn't want the details. He just wanted me to be with him and not do it again.

I loved him, and I couldn't be anymore grateful that he forgave me. It was a mistake. I figured my boyfriend knew that S and I had sex before, but then he just didn't want confirmation. But then I feel really bad for holding information. I wanted him to know the extent of my evil, I wanted him to know me in my worst. But he wouldn't have it. Since then, I've been trying to be the best girlfriend, but then sometimes my mind trail off to 2 years ago when I was having an affair and I broke down again. My life was basically in shambles because I couldn't deal with the fact that I had cheated on my boyfriend.

Was me wanting him to know everything just a way to clear my conscience? Is it better to forcefully tell him or try to endure it until all feelings are gone? He had been really good to me too and never NEVER bring up the affair. He said that it's all in the past. 

I'm crying everyday and just confused on what to do.
user
I cheated 2 years ago. Got caught. Boyfriend forgave me. I can't forgive myself. What to do?
assistant
We had been together for six years. We basically grew up together, and we had seen our worst and best sides.

On our 4th year, I started to have an affair with one of his friends, S for about five months. We got caught, and then S ended it. I wanted to spill every details to my boyfriend, but he said that it wasn't necessary, and that he didn't want the details. He just wanted me to be with him and not do it again.

I loved him, and I couldn't be anymore grateful that he forgave me. It was a mistake. I figured my boyfriend knew that S and I had sex before, but then he just didn't want confirmation. But then I feel really bad for holding information. I wanted him to know the extent of my evil, I wanted him to know me in my worst. But he wouldn't have it. Since then, I've been trying to be the best girlfriend, but then sometimes my mind trail off to 2 years ago when I was having an affair and I broke down again. My life was basically in shambles because I couldn't deal with the fact that I had cheated on my boyfriend.

Was me wanting him to know everything just a way to clear my conscience? Is it better to forcefully tell him or try to endure it until all feelings are gone? He had been really good to me too and never NEVER bring up the affair. He said that it's all in the past. 

I'm crying everyday and just confused on what to do.
user
I cheated on my boyfriend for five months, and I want him to know the truth. I feel like my feelings are gone and I feel like
assistant