Hai, I'm a long-time lurker but first-time poster and so is my girlfriend. I am here today to ask about some advice for my relationship.

To get to the point right away: I am inconsiderate.

She has told me many times, her mother shares that view and I want to change that.

There are situations where she is looking for a game for us to play and instead of joining in immediately I browse for a little bit before helping her and afterwards I don't watch what I'm saying and end up making a statement that I regret immediately afterwards and hurts her.

Or I don't get up around the time I said I would because I was bothering myself with other things the evening before. 
I feel like I think after I say and don't think while I do.

With most things I won't get repeat offenses meaning that I do something bad and I won't do that again but something else might make it through in the future. It might even be similar and I just wasn't prepared for that yet.

It really feels more like we are fighting the symptoms and not the cause. So my question is "What is the cause and how to do fight it?"

Because I want to change and I have changed a lot over these last 2 years, I am living a very different life now but this persists and we aren't ready to sacrifice anymore nerves and sometimes tears to it.
user
I am inconsiderate and I want to change so I'm trying to
assistant
Hai, I'm a long-time lurker but first-time poster and so is my girlfriend. I am here today to ask about some advice for my relationship.

To get to the point right away: I am inconsiderate.

She has told me many times, her mother shares that view and I want to change that.

There are situations where she is looking for a game for us to play and instead of joining in immediately I browse for a little bit before helping her and afterwards I don't watch what I'm saying and end up making a statement that I regret immediately afterwards and hurts her.

Or I don't get up around the time I said I would because I was bothering myself with other things the evening before. 
I feel like I think after I say and don't think while I do.

With most things I won't get repeat offenses meaning that I do something bad and I won't do that again but something else might make it through in the future. It might even be similar and I just wasn't prepared for that yet.

It really feels more like we are fighting the symptoms and not the cause. So my question is "What is the cause and how to do fight it?"

Because I want to change and I have changed a lot over these last 2 years, I am living a very different life now but this persists and we aren't ready to sacrifice anymore nerves and sometimes tears to it.
user
I am an inconsiderate person and she doesn't think I can change.
assistant