Just over a year ago, I cheated on my boyfriend (then of 3 years). We briefly broke up but got back together after about a week and agreed to work towards rebuilding trust.  I have been trying my hardest to reconcile by working on myself (working through depression, anxiety, becoming sober), removing toxic people from my life, and being honest with my boyfriend. I do not have the funds for therapy yet but will be able to start in 2 months time. I am 100% remorseful and know I could never ever ever do something like that to him again.

The problem lies in the fact that my boyfriend told his mother and a few friends about the incident... and then never told them we were working on reconciling. I understand that it is a great personal blow and would greatly concern those around him to know that he would get back together with someone who could do something so hurtful to him. And I understand he does not want to experience that negative judgement and is afraid that if we break up in the future, he will look foolish. 

But... I just cannot continue working on this relationship like this. We live together and are soon to move closer to our families and I want to be able to have that full honest relationship again. I don't want to hide when friends and family visit. I want to be able to see his friends out in public and not stop holding hands because he is not comfortable with that yet.

Am I expecting too much too soon? What is the best way from him to break the news? Again, I know I'm the one who has severely damaged things between us but I feel like we are really working together to rebuild the relationship and aside from this aspect, everything else within the relationship has improved.
user
Cheated on boyfriend, worked hard to
assistant
Just over a year ago, I cheated on my boyfriend (then of 3 years). We briefly broke up but got back together after about a week and agreed to work towards rebuilding trust.  I have been trying my hardest to reconcile by working on myself (working through depression, anxiety, becoming sober), removing toxic people from my life, and being honest with my boyfriend. I do not have the funds for therapy yet but will be able to start in 2 months time. I am 100% remorseful and know I could never ever ever do something like that to him again.

The problem lies in the fact that my boyfriend told his mother and a few friends about the incident... and then never told them we were working on reconciling. I understand that it is a great personal blow and would greatly concern those around him to know that he would get back together with someone who could do something so hurtful to him. And I understand he does not want to experience that negative judgement and is afraid that if we break up in the future, he will look foolish. 

But... I just cannot continue working on this relationship like this. We live together and are soon to move closer to our families and I want to be able to have that full honest relationship again. I don't want to hide when friends and family visit. I want to be able to see his friends out in public and not stop holding hands because he is not comfortable with that yet.

Am I expecting too much too soon? What is the best way from him to break the news? Again, I know I'm the one who has severely damaged things between us but I feel like we are really working together to rebuild the relationship and aside from this aspect, everything else within the relationship has improved.
user
Cheated on boyfriend of 3 years
assistant