Urg. So, for the past six months, I have had severe anxiety and depression related to my relationship (I'm medicated and in therapy and all that good stuff already). I am now contemplating heading out the door, even though I still love her, because of the issues we are having, and I just can't seem to feel better about this.

Although we are a loving couple, I feel like she is quite controlling. An example of this is that I feel pressure to keep our house perfectly clean and tidy all the time, and it feels as though she is forever tidying up and cleaning. 

She is also very much on the planning/organised end of the scale, to the point where I feel that she is constantly living in the future, making plans, and does not manage to relax, like, EVER. She is constantly worrying about small things and asking for reassurance about them. 

An example might be that this weekend, we went away camping with friends. She became anxious about when we would pay our friends for the camping fees and deposits - she ended up asking three times whether she could just pay the money upfront then and there so she could stop worrying about it. I felt this led to some unnecessary stress. Our friends said, OK, we will get home and then send you an email with the workings-out, and you can pay us then. The email duly arrived but still this seemed to be a cause of stress; my partner believed it had been unfairly calculated and it generated a row because I questioned why she believed that. 

Other examples might be that when we are going on a trip, she will hassle me to get boarding passes printed out ten days in advance, asking me multiple times if I've done it.

I understand that these may seem like minor issues, but over time they stack up to a problem, which is that I am constantly on eggshells and wondering what will set her off. I am going to talk to a counsellor about these things, but would appreciate any input. I am worried that I am actually in a relationship that's very controlling and don't know whether it's me or her! 

How to proceed???
user
I am considering leaving
assistant
Urg. So, for the past six months, I have had severe anxiety and depression related to my relationship (I'm medicated and in therapy and all that good stuff already). I am now contemplating heading out the door, even though I still love her, because of the issues we are having, and I just can't seem to feel better about this.

Although we are a loving couple, I feel like she is quite controlling. An example of this is that I feel pressure to keep our house perfectly clean and tidy all the time, and it feels as though she is forever tidying up and cleaning. 

She is also very much on the planning/organised end of the scale, to the point where I feel that she is constantly living in the future, making plans, and does not manage to relax, like, EVER. She is constantly worrying about small things and asking for reassurance about them. 

An example might be that this weekend, we went away camping with friends. She became anxious about when we would pay our friends for the camping fees and deposits - she ended up asking three times whether she could just pay the money upfront then and there so she could stop worrying about it. I felt this led to some unnecessary stress. Our friends said, OK, we will get home and then send you an email with the workings-out, and you can pay us then. The email duly arrived but still this seemed to be a cause of stress; my partner believed it had been unfairly calculated and it generated a row because I questioned why she believed that. 

Other examples might be that when we are going on a trip, she will hassle me to get boarding passes printed out ten days in advance, asking me multiple times if I've done it.

I understand that these may seem like minor issues, but over time they stack up to a problem, which is that I am constantly on eggshells and wondering what will set her off. I am going to talk to a counsellor about these things, but would appreciate any input. I am worried that I am actually in a relationship that's very controlling and don't know whether it's me or her! 

How to proceed???
user
I have severe anxiety
assistant