My fiance's mother died many years ago, so I never met her. People who knew her all seem to think she was great, and my fiance is sad that she won't be at our wedding. Based on the stories I've heard, I think I would have liked her.

Since the engagement, I've had several people tell me something to the effect of how lucky I am not to have a mother-in-law, and that my wedding and life in general will be so much easier. They usually claim that it is just a joke, but it happens often enough that I am really uncomfortable with it. Also, I'm not sure that everyone who claims that they are joking actually is. Like when I explained to one of my co-workers that my future mother-in-law was dead, she went on a big rant about her mother-in-law and how she envied me. Her mother-in-law could be a terrible person, but that has nothing to do with my situation. I told her my mother-in-law sounded like a nice person, and she dismissively said "maybe" like I didn't know what I was talking about. I didn't say anything, since she is senior to me and I didn't want to fight her about it.

My own aunt even got in on it! When I explained that people who knew my mother-in-law seemed to like her, she told me that they might just not want to speak badly about a dead person, and that I couldn't be sure how nice she really would have been to me. I said I guess that's true, but I've heard stories of specific things my MIL did that were so great, and I wouldn't think people who didn't like someone would bother making up nice stories about them years after the fact, and I don't think someone as nice as she seems would turn into a crazy monster just because her son got married. My aunt very condescendingly told me that it would be easier this way.

Not everyone has been this offensive, but even the stupid jokes are obnoxious. Do you have any ideas of what I can say to shut this down?
user
People tell me I'm lucky I don't have a mother-in-law. I think they're joking, but I'm not sure of that. What can I say to shut
assistant
My fiance's mother died many years ago, so I never met her. People who knew her all seem to think she was great, and my fiance is sad that she won't be at our wedding. Based on the stories I've heard, I think I would have liked her.

Since the engagement, I've had several people tell me something to the effect of how lucky I am not to have a mother-in-law, and that my wedding and life in general will be so much easier. They usually claim that it is just a joke, but it happens often enough that I am really uncomfortable with it. Also, I'm not sure that everyone who claims that they are joking actually is. Like when I explained to one of my co-workers that my future mother-in-law was dead, she went on a big rant about her mother-in-law and how she envied me. Her mother-in-law could be a terrible person, but that has nothing to do with my situation. I told her my mother-in-law sounded like a nice person, and she dismissively said "maybe" like I didn't know what I was talking about. I didn't say anything, since she is senior to me and I didn't want to fight her about it.

My own aunt even got in on it! When I explained that people who knew my mother-in-law seemed to like her, she told me that they might just not want to speak badly about a dead person, and that I couldn't be sure how nice she really would have been to me. I said I guess that's true, but I've heard stories of specific things my MIL did that were so great, and I wouldn't think people who didn't like someone would bother making up nice stories about them years after the fact, and I don't think someone as nice as she seems would turn into a crazy monster just because her son got married. My aunt very condescendingly told me that it would be easier this way.

Not everyone has been this offensive, but even the stupid jokes are obnoxious. Do you have any ideas of what I can say to shut this down?
user
People tell me how lucky I am not to have a mother-in-law, but I'm not sure what to say to them.
assistant