Before Easter I [f21] started chatting with a man [m53] on OkCupid that is a professor at my university, and the weekend before Easter we met. We hit it off well, and saw each other a few times a week until I left for a summer internship across the country a month and a half later. We still talked a lot, and he came to visit me here recently. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to discuss if this was going to go anywhere, and that I wanted it to. He told me that he wanted to continue seeing me when we both return to my university town, and that he had a lot of fun with me and wanted us to be positive experiences in each other’s’ lives, and that he is nervous about it because he has never even considered someone my age in a romantic way. I told him about my previous experience in a 7 month relationship with another older man, and how I think it is very possible to have a lasting relationship with the age difference. He told me that he just has no experience with it and does not know what to expect. However, he also said that he wants to eventually settle down with someone his own age (for such reasons as “he’s going to die sooner”). I don’t know how to take this, and I don’t know if I should continue investing myself into something with that sort of clause. I told him that it made me feel like I was just something to do until someone his age came along, and he fervently disagreed with that. But isn’t that exactly what that means? I would like to continue seeing him when we return in the fall, but I’m not sure what to say to him about how I feel or how to convince him that the age difference is not something to be afraid of.
user
I have been seeing a man for a couple of months and he told me that he would like to see me until he meets someone his own age because of concern over our age difference. How do I deal with this?
assistant
Before Easter I [f21] started chatting with a man [m53] on OkCupid that is a professor at my university, and the weekend before Easter we met. We hit it off well, and saw each other a few times a week until I left for a summer internship across the country a month and a half later. We still talked a lot, and he came to visit me here recently. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to discuss if this was going to go anywhere, and that I wanted it to. He told me that he wanted to continue seeing me when we both return to my university town, and that he had a lot of fun with me and wanted us to be positive experiences in each other’s’ lives, and that he is nervous about it because he has never even considered someone my age in a romantic way. I told him about my previous experience in a 7 month relationship with another older man, and how I think it is very possible to have a lasting relationship with the age difference. He told me that he just has no experience with it and does not know what to expect. However, he also said that he wants to eventually settle down with someone his own age (for such reasons as “he’s going to die sooner”). I don’t know how to take this, and I don’t know if I should continue investing myself into something with that sort of clause. I told him that it made me feel like I was just something to do until someone his age came along, and he fervently disagreed with that. But isn’t that exactly what that means? I would like to continue seeing him when we return in the fall, but I’m not sure what to say to him about how I feel or how to convince him that the age difference is not something to be afraid of.
user
How do I convince a man I've been dating that the age difference is not something to be afraid of?
assistant