My friend, who we'll call Ben, is going out with another of my friends, who we'll call Jen [27F]. I've known them both for around two years and met them through my boyfriend at the time (now ex). Ben and Jen have a sort of on/off relationship and often speak badly about each other to me. They have been going out on and off for around three years.

Jen and I have always got along really well and spend a lot of time together, often with Ben. Ben and I don't really hang out together on our own, but when we're in group settings we tend to talk to each other a lot one on one. I find myself becoming really attracted to Ben, despite him dating a good friend of mine, which makes me feel like a really terrible person. This is really distracting when we're all spending time together and it hurts when I see them doing anything even vaguely intimate like holding hands (this also makes me feel like a bad person...).

I was thinking about approaching Ben about it when I thought that they were broken up, but it's very hard to tell if they were so  I didn't say anything. Ben's only indication that he might like me is that when he gets drunk he gets a little flirtatious with me and we get along really well.

I'm not sure what kind of answer I'm hoping to get here, just writing it out makes me feel a bit better. Just some advice from people who have been in a similar situation I suppose.
user
I'm attracted to someone who is going out with another of my friends, but I'm also
assistant
My friend, who we'll call Ben, is going out with another of my friends, who we'll call Jen [27F]. I've known them both for around two years and met them through my boyfriend at the time (now ex). Ben and Jen have a sort of on/off relationship and often speak badly about each other to me. They have been going out on and off for around three years.

Jen and I have always got along really well and spend a lot of time together, often with Ben. Ben and I don't really hang out together on our own, but when we're in group settings we tend to talk to each other a lot one on one. I find myself becoming really attracted to Ben, despite him dating a good friend of mine, which makes me feel like a really terrible person. This is really distracting when we're all spending time together and it hurts when I see them doing anything even vaguely intimate like holding hands (this also makes me feel like a bad person...).

I was thinking about approaching Ben about it when I thought that they were broken up, but it's very hard to tell if they were so  I didn't say anything. Ben's only indication that he might like me is that when he gets drunk he gets a little flirtatious with me and we get along really well.

I'm not sure what kind of answer I'm hoping to get here, just writing it out makes me feel a bit better. Just some advice from people who have been in a similar situation I suppose.
user
I like my friend's ex-boyfriend and it makes me feel like a terrible person.
assistant