I've been married to my wife for coming up on 10 years now and lately we've been having some pretty serious problems. The jist of everything is that we were 18 when we got married and the marriage was expedited by the coming birth of our first child. Since then there have been 2 more additions to our family, bringing the total head count in my household to 5. I love my wife. So, fast forward to now, and it seems like all we do is fight. She's distant from me most of the time. We used to smoke weed and when we were high, everything was okay. I say okay because a relationship should not revovle around drugs or alcohol in order to be successful. When we stopped smoking, however, we actually had to deal with our emotions. We couldn't just get high to mask how we really felt and bury our feelings down deep. Since then, we have come to the realization that we are just 2 very different people than the people that got married so long ago. Part of me is really sad that things have gotten this way and there's another part of me that's just happy the feeling seems to be mutual. My only problem with the whole situation is the fact that she's not really even willing to try any sort of marriage counseling. I suggested it a few weeks ago and told her that if 1: we didn't actually do it, or 2: we didn't see any actual growth coming from it, that we should call it off. I asked her to look into a counselor for us, one that would accept our insurance, because I work 12 hours a day monday through friday and typically a half day on fridays. She has a 2 hour lunch break and gets off around 5 every day. She says now, that she doesn't want to try counseling because we shouldn't have to change in order to be together, and she's unconvinced that either of us can get that IN LOVE feeling again. So anyways, I guess I'm just venting. Maybe you guys have some suggestions as to how to reinstill that fire in our relationship or to make her fall in love with me again. I don't want the family that we've built to fall apart. Not without at least trying.
user
My wife and I are having problems. I need to know how to make her fall in love with me again before my family that we've built falls apart.
assistant
I've been married to my wife for coming up on 10 years now and lately we've been having some pretty serious problems. The jist of everything is that we were 18 when we got married and the marriage was expedited by the coming birth of our first child. Since then there have been 2 more additions to our family, bringing the total head count in my household to 5. I love my wife. So, fast forward to now, and it seems like all we do is fight. She's distant from me most of the time. We used to smoke weed and when we were high, everything was okay. I say okay because a relationship should not revovle around drugs or alcohol in order to be successful. When we stopped smoking, however, we actually had to deal with our emotions. We couldn't just get high to mask how we really felt and bury our feelings down deep. Since then, we have come to the realization that we are just 2 very different people than the people that got married so long ago. Part of me is really sad that things have gotten this way and there's another part of me that's just happy the feeling seems to be mutual. My only problem with the whole situation is the fact that she's not really even willing to try any sort of marriage counseling. I suggested it a few weeks ago and told her that if 1: we didn't actually do it, or 2: we didn't see any actual growth coming from it, that we should call it off. I asked her to look into a counselor for us, one that would accept our insurance, because I work 12 hours a day monday through friday and typically a half day on fridays. She has a 2 hour lunch break and gets off around 5 every day. She says now, that she doesn't want to try counseling because we shouldn't have to change in order to be together, and she's unconvinced that either of us can get that IN LOVE feeling again. So anyways, I guess I'm just venting. Maybe you guys have some suggestions as to how to reinstill that fire in our relationship or to make her fall in love with me again. I don't want the family that we've built to fall apart. Not without at least trying.
user
My marriage is falling apart and I want to make it better. I don't want it to be.
assistant