A good friend of mine from college is going through a tough time... Financial stress, dealing with a new job, etc. We live in different cities so I don't see her too often, but we've been texting or Facebook messaging at least weekly for a long time.

The problem is that when she's in a relationship that's going well, she tends to put all her energy into that. To me, someone is your friend all the time or not at all. For the past few months she's been taking longer and longer to write back to me on Facebook -- and I can SEE that she's still active on the app on her phone and posting things on her wall, just not responding to me. I wished her a happy birthday and it took her three days to acknowledge it, and even then all she wrote was thanks. 

I feel really hurt whenever I think about it, but I've decided I just want to put it past me and not message her anymore. The thing is, she still messages me every few weeks or so -- and every time she does, it brings back all the hurt and insecurity for me. I'll still talk to her when she reaches out (usually with a problem she's having), but after we exchange a few messages, I'll get radio silence, leaving me feeling freshly rejected AND worried about whatever problem she's having.

I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to just message her saying how I feel. I know she'd think it's petty of me and that she'd be mad -- we've fought about this before during her last relationship when she kept abruptly canceling plans to hang out so she could spend time with her boyfriend, and she got crazy mad at me when I confronted her about it.

Honestly, I feel like I'm ok with drifting apart from her, but I can't put it behind me when she keeps messaging me out of the blue. I want her to message me consistently or not at all, or else I want to learn how to be less upset when she does message and (inevitably) ignore me.
user
I feel hurt when my friend keeps ignoring me on Facebook, despite my constant pleas for her to just reply. I want her to message me more but also want to get over it.
assistant
A good friend of mine from college is going through a tough time... Financial stress, dealing with a new job, etc. We live in different cities so I don't see her too often, but we've been texting or Facebook messaging at least weekly for a long time.

The problem is that when she's in a relationship that's going well, she tends to put all her energy into that. To me, someone is your friend all the time or not at all. For the past few months she's been taking longer and longer to write back to me on Facebook -- and I can SEE that she's still active on the app on her phone and posting things on her wall, just not responding to me. I wished her a happy birthday and it took her three days to acknowledge it, and even then all she wrote was thanks. 

I feel really hurt whenever I think about it, but I've decided I just want to put it past me and not message her anymore. The thing is, she still messages me every few weeks or so -- and every time she does, it brings back all the hurt and insecurity for me. I'll still talk to her when she reaches out (usually with a problem she's having), but after we exchange a few messages, I'll get radio silence, leaving me feeling freshly rejected AND worried about whatever problem she's having.

I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to just message her saying how I feel. I know she'd think it's petty of me and that she'd be mad -- we've fought about this before during her last relationship when she kept abruptly canceling plans to hang out so she could spend time with her boyfriend, and she got crazy mad at me when I confronted her about it.

Honestly, I feel like I'm ok with drifting apart from her, but I can't put it behind me when she keeps messaging me out of the blue. I want her to message me consistently or not at all, or else I want to learn how to be less upset when she does message and (inevitably) ignore me.
user
good friend of 3 years seems to be ignoring me on FB despite being in a relationship. I feel hurt and want to know if it's worth messaging her and letting her know how much it upsets
assistant