My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 10 months now. At the very beginning of our relationship he had just been getting over his ex that he had dated just prior to dating me. This was a girl he had obsessed over for a while, about 5 or 6 years. They broke up when they both went off to college because they knew they wouldn't want to do a long distance relationship. When we got together, he definitely was still hung up, but he was starting to realize their relationship really hadn't been as great as he thought it was. The problem was, before we started dating he had talked to his ex about me, and told her things that I had previously asked him not to tell anyone.   

 

It's ~9 months later, I have forgiven him, but he can't seem to forgive himself. He's holding onto so much anger towards himself and partly towards her. He wishes he had never had feelings for her and that he'd never done any of it, but I don't think this anger is beneficial for him. She can't even be mentioned by me or anyone else without him getting upset. I just don't know what to do to help him move on, and he doesn't know how to go about letting go of this sort of thing.   

 
user
My [18/F] boyfriend has sometimes done things he shouldn't have done with his ex. He's holding onto this anger towards himself and partly towards her. He doesn't know how
assistant
My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 10 months now. At the very beginning of our relationship he had just been getting over his ex that he had dated just prior to dating me. This was a girl he had obsessed over for a while, about 5 or 6 years. They broke up when they both went off to college because they knew they wouldn't want to do a long distance relationship. When we got together, he definitely was still hung up, but he was starting to realize their relationship really hadn't been as great as he thought it was. The problem was, before we started dating he had talked to his ex about me, and told her things that I had previously asked him not to tell anyone.   

 

It's ~9 months later, I have forgiven him, but he can't seem to forgive himself. He's holding onto so much anger towards himself and partly towards her. He wishes he had never had feelings for her and that he'd never done any of it, but I don't think this anger is beneficial for him. She can't even be mentioned by me or anyone else without him getting upset. I just don't know what to do to help him move on, and he doesn't know how to go about letting go of this sort of thing.   

 
user
My boyfriend can't let go of anger towards himself or his ex.
assistant