I'm going to try to make this short. My ex and I have been on and off for about a year, with our most recent break up ending badly. He has a lot of issues, drinking, anger, smoking, which caused a lot of problems in our relationship. 

Many times throughout our relationship he would drink too much and snap at me over something stupid. He never put me down or anything, but I don't like being yelled at for something that is out of my control. He's never hit me, but he would do things like punch walls or throw chairs across the room which would also scare me.

I told him if he doesn't fix his drinking problems, our relationship would never work. He went to 2  AA meetings then stopped because he said it was dumb. Now he's spending a year across the country, and I haven't been able to see him.

He claims he's been drinking less, but I can't believe him unless I see it. He told me he only drinks when he goes out with friends, and doesn't get drunk only buzzed. Obviously, I have no way to prove whether he's lying or not. 

I will be spending a week with him when he comes home for thanksgiving, but I'm scared he'll just hide it from me or cut back for that week so I think he's changed. 

He's also told me he'd stop smoking, but every time I ask him if he quit yet he says no. He told me he promised me by the time he comes home he'd have quit for good, but I have no way of knowing if he just won't smoke that week, then resume when he goes back. 

So my question is should I trust that he's telling me the truth or do you think changing those habits is easier said than done, and he's either lying that he'll change or he believes he'll change then give up when he realizes how hard it is. I really do love him, but I can't be with him if he's going to have those unhealthy habits our whole relationship. I need your opinion what I should do.
user
My ex-boyfriend has had a lot of drinking and anger problems and I can't be with him because of his habits. He told me he'd quit smoking and drinking, but I have no way to prove it. Should I get back with him or should I end the relationship because I can't be with
assistant
I'm going to try to make this short. My ex and I have been on and off for about a year, with our most recent break up ending badly. He has a lot of issues, drinking, anger, smoking, which caused a lot of problems in our relationship. 

Many times throughout our relationship he would drink too much and snap at me over something stupid. He never put me down or anything, but I don't like being yelled at for something that is out of my control. He's never hit me, but he would do things like punch walls or throw chairs across the room which would also scare me.

I told him if he doesn't fix his drinking problems, our relationship would never work. He went to 2  AA meetings then stopped because he said it was dumb. Now he's spending a year across the country, and I haven't been able to see him.

He claims he's been drinking less, but I can't believe him unless I see it. He told me he only drinks when he goes out with friends, and doesn't get drunk only buzzed. Obviously, I have no way to prove whether he's lying or not. 

I will be spending a week with him when he comes home for thanksgiving, but I'm scared he'll just hide it from me or cut back for that week so I think he's changed. 

He's also told me he'd stop smoking, but every time I ask him if he quit yet he says no. He told me he promised me by the time he comes home he'd have quit for good, but I have no way of knowing if he just won't smoke that week, then resume when he goes back. 

So my question is should I trust that he's telling me the truth or do you think changing those habits is easier said than done, and he's either lying that he'll change or he believes he'll change then give up when he realizes how hard it is. I really do love him, but I can't be with him if he's going to have those unhealthy habits our whole relationship. I need your opinion what I should do.
user
Ex boyfriend promised to change his drinking habits, but I'm scared he's lying about it. Should I trust him?
assistant