My wife (30/f) & I (33/m) have been married for 5 years, we've been together for 10. We have had a good relationship for the most part, and we have two beautiful kids to show for it. The last six months have been fairly difficult though. We've recently moved and went through some financial strain (nothing too out of the ordinary), but I've noticed a dramatic change.

It wasn't until recently that I realized she's starting to work out some of her issues she had growing up. She didn't have a bad childhood, but her parents weren't very loving. She is an only child and what they lacked in compassion and advice they made up for by buying her things. They didn't ever (and i mean EVER) offer moral support but have always been quick to criticize. For instance, when we went to them to announce that we were expecting our second child, her mom's reaction was to question how we think we're going to be able to take care of TWO children, rather than be excited. FWIW, we never gave anybody any reason to doubt us in our abilities to take care of our first.

Lately she's been projecting her father (and herself) onto me, which is excruciating because he & I are so opposite. He was always very controlling and vindictive, with a very strict justice system around the house. He caused her a great deal of anxiety throughout her life and so now I am, just by proxy.

I'm just looking for advice. I have a hard time relating because I had an incredibly stable and loving household as a child, and I don't want to be insensitive or show a lack of understanding. I do my best to give her space when I think it's needed and to listen, but I don't often know just what to say, or if I need to say anything.
user
My wife has started to project her father onto me. Both of us are very different and I'm scared of having to deal with
assistant
My wife (30/f) & I (33/m) have been married for 5 years, we've been together for 10. We have had a good relationship for the most part, and we have two beautiful kids to show for it. The last six months have been fairly difficult though. We've recently moved and went through some financial strain (nothing too out of the ordinary), but I've noticed a dramatic change.

It wasn't until recently that I realized she's starting to work out some of her issues she had growing up. She didn't have a bad childhood, but her parents weren't very loving. She is an only child and what they lacked in compassion and advice they made up for by buying her things. They didn't ever (and i mean EVER) offer moral support but have always been quick to criticize. For instance, when we went to them to announce that we were expecting our second child, her mom's reaction was to question how we think we're going to be able to take care of TWO children, rather than be excited. FWIW, we never gave anybody any reason to doubt us in our abilities to take care of our first.

Lately she's been projecting her father (and herself) onto me, which is excruciating because he & I are so opposite. He was always very controlling and vindictive, with a very strict justice system around the house. He caused her a great deal of anxiety throughout her life and so now I am, just by proxy.

I'm just looking for advice. I have a hard time relating because I had an incredibly stable and loving household as a child, and I don't want to be insensitive or show a lack of understanding. I do my best to give her space when I think it's needed and to listen, but I don't often know just what to say, or if I need to say anything.
user
Wife has changed over the past few months and I'm trying to figure out how to handle it.
assistant