I've been married to my wife for about 5 years now. While I can say that I love her very much, I'm not happy with her. She doesn't help around the house, we don't have sex as often as I'd like, she's very needy, and very full of herself.  
  
For the five years we've been married and the two we dated prior to getting married, I've felt like I always have to put up an act. We usually get into arguments whenever I'm drunk or high because I let myself go and the real me pops out (spontaneous, erratic, horndog, just all around fun loving). I'll do stuff like rock out by changing lyrics to songs in Rock Band and making them raunchier or dance like a fool in the streets or something silly with our friends and she'll start a scene because "that's not how an adult should act" or "its very disrespectful" to her. It hurts to think about leaving her because aside from everything I've stated, she's a good person. She's smart, cute, strong, and very sociable. She's also my voice of reason; sometimes my ideas are a bit overboard. She's really put up with a lot with me.  
  
Now here's the really hard part about it all. She's got lupus...pretty bad too. We spend a lot on medical care and services and she's on my medical plan. If we divorce, I might as well start planning the funeral. Due to some of the medication she's on, we can't have kids naturally. She's very sensitive about that and feels like she's defective. I really want kids (I'm not getting any younger) and its looking like she won't be able to deliver.  
  
We have talked about all the issues several times. With regards to all of my gripes, she always promises to work on it. She shows improvement for a month, maybe two, but then goes back to her same ways. I'm at a loss. Any advice?
user
Wife won't change. I would
assistant
I've been married to my wife for about 5 years now. While I can say that I love her very much, I'm not happy with her. She doesn't help around the house, we don't have sex as often as I'd like, she's very needy, and very full of herself.  
  
For the five years we've been married and the two we dated prior to getting married, I've felt like I always have to put up an act. We usually get into arguments whenever I'm drunk or high because I let myself go and the real me pops out (spontaneous, erratic, horndog, just all around fun loving). I'll do stuff like rock out by changing lyrics to songs in Rock Band and making them raunchier or dance like a fool in the streets or something silly with our friends and she'll start a scene because "that's not how an adult should act" or "its very disrespectful" to her. It hurts to think about leaving her because aside from everything I've stated, she's a good person. She's smart, cute, strong, and very sociable. She's also my voice of reason; sometimes my ideas are a bit overboard. She's really put up with a lot with me.  
  
Now here's the really hard part about it all. She's got lupus...pretty bad too. We spend a lot on medical care and services and she's on my medical plan. If we divorce, I might as well start planning the funeral. Due to some of the medication she's on, we can't have kids naturally. She's very sensitive about that and feels like she's defective. I really want kids (I'm not getting any younger) and its looking like she won't be able to deliver.  
  
We have talked about all the issues several times. With regards to all of my gripes, she always promises to work on it. She shows improvement for a month, maybe two, but then goes back to her same ways. I'm at a loss. Any advice?
user
Want kids, wife has lupus,
assistant