I have been best friends with "Julie" since high school.  We both got married in our 30 - I am childfree by choice, she has two kids, an 8-year old autistic girl (very high functioning, mostly just a chatterbox who is a bit quirky) and an infant.

We used to have lunch once a week.  She is desperate for a break, I would say verge of a nervous breakdown.  Both her kids co-sleep and don't care for the dad, so she is not able to go out at night - ever. 

She is begging me to have lunch. I say -- ANYTIME!  But now she keeps saying "The 8 year old is crying, she wants to come with us, she complains she never gets to go with us to lunch" (it has been a year since we had lunch).

Then she puts the kid on the phone with me so I can listen to her cry, "I want to go to lunch with mommy and auntie, I never get to go, I will be so sad."

If we go to lunch with the kid, for one, it is NOT a break for her.  For two, the kid will monopolize the entire lunch.  She is able to sneak away for lunch with babysitting support from husband one day a week.  I want it to be the both of us.

Am I a heartless bitch?  Part of me doesn't want to deal, because that is not my idea of a very relaxing lunch for me -- but, I am happy to suck it up and do it for MY FRIEND, but I know this is NO break for her, either.
user
Friend wants to go out to lunch with me, but the kid is always involved. Am I a heartless bitch to refuse?
assistant
I have been best friends with "Julie" since high school.  We both got married in our 30 - I am childfree by choice, she has two kids, an 8-year old autistic girl (very high functioning, mostly just a chatterbox who is a bit quirky) and an infant.

We used to have lunch once a week.  She is desperate for a break, I would say verge of a nervous breakdown.  Both her kids co-sleep and don't care for the dad, so she is not able to go out at night - ever. 

She is begging me to have lunch. I say -- ANYTIME!  But now she keeps saying "The 8 year old is crying, she wants to come with us, she complains she never gets to go with us to lunch" (it has been a year since we had lunch).

Then she puts the kid on the phone with me so I can listen to her cry, "I want to go to lunch with mommy and auntie, I never get to go, I will be so sad."

If we go to lunch with the kid, for one, it is NOT a break for her.  For two, the kid will monopolize the entire lunch.  She is able to sneak away for lunch with babysitting support from husband one day a week.  I want it to be the both of us.

Am I a heartless bitch?  Part of me doesn't want to deal, because that is not my idea of a very relaxing lunch for me -- but, I am happy to suck it up and do it for MY FRIEND, but I know this is NO break for her, either.
user
my best friend refuses to break from her kid in order for us to have lunch. despite begging me to do so she continues to insist she
assistant