I always knew he was looking at porn but never wanted to be "that girl", until I found evidence that he's been soliciting sex acts online. He promises he's never followed through with these actions but at this point who knows. I have evidence that this has been going on for at least a year and a half so anything could have happened. He admits that the porn problem has been ongoing since he first discovered porn but has escalated in the past three years (since we gave up partying to have children). He's now masturbating upwards of 6 times a day, our sex life and other aspects of our marriage have totally fallen apart.

I am actually willing to support him in this addiction, to participate in some sort of 12 step program with the coinciding support group. (something like AA and Alanon) However, in the area I live in I can not find easily accessible support groups for family members of this particular addict. Let alone a secular group, we're atheists and some of the ultra christian anti porn groups are not going to work for me. We're both frequenting /r/nofap and /r/pornfree for advice but there doesn't seem to be any help for spouses.

I feel like I'm going insane, I have all of these conflicting emotions. I don't know what sort of boundaries are healthy to set in order to get him back in the house and eventually our bed. For some ridiculous reason all I can think about is sex and when will we be able to have it again? Does anybody have any advice? Success stories? Online support groups or forums?

Any questions please feel free to ask.
user
Husband has porn trouble, we're considering 12 step program but can't find any
assistant
I always knew he was looking at porn but never wanted to be "that girl", until I found evidence that he's been soliciting sex acts online. He promises he's never followed through with these actions but at this point who knows. I have evidence that this has been going on for at least a year and a half so anything could have happened. He admits that the porn problem has been ongoing since he first discovered porn but has escalated in the past three years (since we gave up partying to have children). He's now masturbating upwards of 6 times a day, our sex life and other aspects of our marriage have totally fallen apart.

I am actually willing to support him in this addiction, to participate in some sort of 12 step program with the coinciding support group. (something like AA and Alanon) However, in the area I live in I can not find easily accessible support groups for family members of this particular addict. Let alone a secular group, we're atheists and some of the ultra christian anti porn groups are not going to work for me. We're both frequenting /r/nofap and /r/pornfree for advice but there doesn't seem to be any help for spouses.

I feel like I'm going insane, I have all of these conflicting emotions. I don't know what sort of boundaries are healthy to set in order to get him back in the house and eventually our bed. For some ridiculous reason all I can think about is sex and when will we be able to have it again? Does anybody have any advice? Success stories? Online support groups or forums?

Any questions please feel free to ask.
user
Husband has porn addiction, I want to work through it but are having
assistant