My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months but "casually" dated for 6 months before that. About a month ago, I told him I loved him. He gave me a hug and said "I like you a lot...a lot more than when we started dating. But I'm not at that level yet. Is that okay?"

I'll admit, I was a bit disappointed. I know some people need more time, but I was almost sure he would say it back. His best friend told me he loves me, and he even co-signed a 7 year car loan for me! Who would do that for a casual girlfriend?

But I was fine with waiting if it meant he would be comfortable and actually mean it. However, this week we had a HUGE fight. We were both in the wrong (the argument was about something he did, though I escalated it to the point of tears) but instead of explaining myself calmly and rationally I got really emotional and stated crying. He got defensive which made me even more upset. We usually don't fight for long (or ever)- but this lasted about two hours before it was "resolved".

I wish I had better control of my emotions. I ended up looking super emotional, bringing up stuff from months ago and using the same arguments over and over. Usually I am very articulate and can clearly express myself, but this was the first time he got so defensive. I was getting frustrated that he didn't understand what I was trying to say, but I was not expressing it well at all. He made an angry comment towards me, but then tried to explain himself so we could just end the disagreement.

Now I'm worried I've ruined my chance to ever hear "I love you" from him. I really hope this did not put our relationship off course, because it was going so well.
user
my boyfriend won't "love" me after a big fight and I'm not sure how to approach it again.
assistant
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 10 months but "casually" dated for 6 months before that. About a month ago, I told him I loved him. He gave me a hug and said "I like you a lot...a lot more than when we started dating. But I'm not at that level yet. Is that okay?"

I'll admit, I was a bit disappointed. I know some people need more time, but I was almost sure he would say it back. His best friend told me he loves me, and he even co-signed a 7 year car loan for me! Who would do that for a casual girlfriend?

But I was fine with waiting if it meant he would be comfortable and actually mean it. However, this week we had a HUGE fight. We were both in the wrong (the argument was about something he did, though I escalated it to the point of tears) but instead of explaining myself calmly and rationally I got really emotional and stated crying. He got defensive which made me even more upset. We usually don't fight for long (or ever)- but this lasted about two hours before it was "resolved".

I wish I had better control of my emotions. I ended up looking super emotional, bringing up stuff from months ago and using the same arguments over and over. Usually I am very articulate and can clearly express myself, but this was the first time he got so defensive. I was getting frustrated that he didn't understand what I was trying to say, but I was not expressing it well at all. He made an angry comment towards me, but then tried to explain himself so we could just end the disagreement.

Now I'm worried I've ruined my chance to ever hear "I love you" from him. I really hope this did not put our relationship off course, because it was going so well.
user
I just broke up with my boyfriend because I didn't understand his refusal to communicate with me. I want to know what he would say if I told him I loved him and that I was
assistant