I want to break up with my GF of almost 3 years, but I'm having trouble doing so.

This is the first serious relationship I've had but I'm encountering some problems. I can't really cope with her attitude anymore, she is often jealous, and her lack of motivation and perseverance bothers me (this has to do with her smoking and gaining weight. I do not really have a problem with either of these 2, but she constantly says she should stop smoking and should start exercising but doesn't do either of them. somewhere in July she said she would go excercise daily when she has her holidays but until now she didn't break a sweat. She did tend to stop smoking, but quit trying after a week.) To top it off I'm at a point in my life where I currently want to be free to enjoy my life (not that I'm not enjoying it now) without constantly thinking about how my GF feels about me doing this or that.

However, I'm having a hard time breaking up with her, mainly because she makes me feel like I'm everything to her, and I do still care for her. I have a rather large group of friends (30±), and because we've been together for so long, most of my friends have become her friends, when we are to break up, she would lose them. This would result into her having only a few friends left. We hang out together once or twice during workdays and are usually together for the whole weekend. I can already imagine her going through a depression, not only because of our breakup but also because she won't have something to do every weekend while she's a person who needs social activity around her.

Since I've never broken up with someone I care about before, I do not know what to say, or what I shouldn't say. I currently feel like it's not a problem if she still hangs out with me and my friends after we'd break up, but I've heard saying "We can still be friends" is like saying "hey our dog died, but we can still keep it".  She deservers to know why I want to break up, but should I tell everything? I don't really want to break her heart so I want to try and do it gently..
user
First serious relationship, never broke up
assistant
I want to break up with my GF of almost 3 years, but I'm having trouble doing so.

This is the first serious relationship I've had but I'm encountering some problems. I can't really cope with her attitude anymore, she is often jealous, and her lack of motivation and perseverance bothers me (this has to do with her smoking and gaining weight. I do not really have a problem with either of these 2, but she constantly says she should stop smoking and should start exercising but doesn't do either of them. somewhere in July she said she would go excercise daily when she has her holidays but until now she didn't break a sweat. She did tend to stop smoking, but quit trying after a week.) To top it off I'm at a point in my life where I currently want to be free to enjoy my life (not that I'm not enjoying it now) without constantly thinking about how my GF feels about me doing this or that.

However, I'm having a hard time breaking up with her, mainly because she makes me feel like I'm everything to her, and I do still care for her. I have a rather large group of friends (30±), and because we've been together for so long, most of my friends have become her friends, when we are to break up, she would lose them. This would result into her having only a few friends left. We hang out together once or twice during workdays and are usually together for the whole weekend. I can already imagine her going through a depression, not only because of our breakup but also because she won't have something to do every weekend while she's a person who needs social activity around her.

Since I've never broken up with someone I care about before, I do not know what to say, or what I shouldn't say. I currently feel like it's not a problem if she still hangs out with me and my friends after we'd break up, but I've heard saying "We can still be friends" is like saying "hey our dog died, but we can still keep it".  She deservers to know why I want to break up, but should I tell everything? I don't really want to break her heart so I want to try and do it gently..
user
I want to break up with
assistant