I have a good friend who I've known about a year who has a personality quirk that I find strange (and hard to put into words): she's consistently less forthcoming than I would consider normal about most things, even regarding seemingly unimportant everyday details.  As if she has walls up. Both late 20s, I'm M, she's F.  

Along with other friends and co-workers, I have lunch with this person about every day and hang out frequently on weekends.   

But answers provided to questions that I would consider routine and nonthreatening when getting to know someone (background, places lived, etc.) are often only minimally responsive and sometimes almost deceptively so.  Sometimes I find this out by comparing answers provided to others at different times, and learn that three different people got three different (but not necessarily contradictory) answers.  I.e. misleading but not untruthful.  Others have noticed the same phenomenon--as if we have to compare answers to get the full story.  

Normally as you get to know someone, their life "story" makes more and more sense.  But with her, the more I learn, the more I feel like there's something I'm missing or something that's being hidden.  I'm reluctant to pry at something that might be painful.  

Another example: I've been out with this girl literally dozens of times to lunch and bars both with other friends and sometimes even alone (as friends) and yet I only just found out that she has a long-distance boyfriend--who she has literally never mentioned.  

Does this sound familiar to anyone?  Any advice?
user
Friend is less forthcoming than I would consider normal about a lot of stuff and in some ways I don't know why.
assistant
I have a good friend who I've known about a year who has a personality quirk that I find strange (and hard to put into words): she's consistently less forthcoming than I would consider normal about most things, even regarding seemingly unimportant everyday details.  As if she has walls up. Both late 20s, I'm M, she's F.  

Along with other friends and co-workers, I have lunch with this person about every day and hang out frequently on weekends.   

But answers provided to questions that I would consider routine and nonthreatening when getting to know someone (background, places lived, etc.) are often only minimally responsive and sometimes almost deceptively so.  Sometimes I find this out by comparing answers provided to others at different times, and learn that three different people got three different (but not necessarily contradictory) answers.  I.e. misleading but not untruthful.  Others have noticed the same phenomenon--as if we have to compare answers to get the full story.  

Normally as you get to know someone, their life "story" makes more and more sense.  But with her, the more I learn, the more I feel like there's something I'm missing or something that's being hidden.  I'm reluctant to pry at something that might be painful.  

Another example: I've been out with this girl literally dozens of times to lunch and bars both with other friends and sometimes even alone (as friends) and yet I only just found out that she has a long-distance boyfriend--who she has literally never mentioned.  

Does this sound familiar to anyone?  Any advice?
user
My friend is consistently less forthcoming than she claims to be about important things, and I can't put my finger on what it is.
assistant