Pretty much all my life I've been asocial; being around people just makes me intensely uncomfortable and I feel the need to get away. I think people are generally evil and manipulative and once you let your guard down they will take advantage of you. 

Growing up, I avoided school constantly and would just sit at home and go months without saying anything. I developed bad mental health issues like anorexia, depression and social anxiety. There is a large element of paranoia in there, to the point that I think anyone who looks at me when I'm walking down the street wants to hurt me and can see how evil I am/all the bad things I've done by the look in my eyes.

I've been told I'm attractive, and attractive enough that it gets attention when I'm out, but I hate it. I always assume people are taking the piss, when they could simply be looking at me, and I've sometimes lashed out inappropriately because I get so angry.

There is a need for intimacy there, but I've got so many defences and I'm so isolated that no one can really get through to me.

I think living this way is kind of miserable and I realise that I can only really start living once I participate in society but honestly have no idea what to do. Yes, I'm in therapy, but it doesn't really help.
Any ideas?
user
I'm antisocial, but want intimacy. Years of isolation means I'm socially inept. Need help!
assistant
Pretty much all my life I've been asocial; being around people just makes me intensely uncomfortable and I feel the need to get away. I think people are generally evil and manipulative and once you let your guard down they will take advantage of you. 

Growing up, I avoided school constantly and would just sit at home and go months without saying anything. I developed bad mental health issues like anorexia, depression and social anxiety. There is a large element of paranoia in there, to the point that I think anyone who looks at me when I'm walking down the street wants to hurt me and can see how evil I am/all the bad things I've done by the look in my eyes.

I've been told I'm attractive, and attractive enough that it gets attention when I'm out, but I hate it. I always assume people are taking the piss, when they could simply be looking at me, and I've sometimes lashed out inappropriately because I get so angry.

There is a need for intimacy there, but I've got so many defences and I'm so isolated that no one can really get through to me.

I think living this way is kind of miserable and I realise that I can only really start living once I participate in society but honestly have no idea what to do. Yes, I'm in therapy, but it doesn't really help.
Any ideas?
user
I don't like people and have no social skills. I can't really explain why but I know I don't like them. Any ideas on
assistant