I was bullied a lot when I was younger. I was depressed and angry. Eventually I developed the desire to be sexually humiliated. Forced cross dressing and diapers. It's very pathetic and disgusting.

I am ashamed of my fetishes. I wish they would go away. It is a choice, I could choose to stop. But I don't want to. I want to and I don't want to. It's like I am addicted. A love hate relationship.

If I were to be with another woman, I feel like my fetishes would destory our relationship. She would see me as less of a man. 

And if thats the case, then I would have to find someone who WOULD accept my fetishes. What kind of woman is going to admire their man wearing dresses and diapers? Nobody, its just far too rare. I don't want to go searching. I don't like my fetishes. I hate them. Yet I love them. I LOVE how embarrised I feel, and it kind of bothers me. 

Here is my question. If I were to stop indulging in these fetishes. It would be over, right? Won't I still desire it? It's weird. Like, what if my wife asks me what turns me on? Oh hey I liked to be forced in your clothes and spanked over your knee. I don't think women are going to like that. I don't know what to think. Spanking is humiliation. Does this mean I can't be spanked without my desires for diapers coming back up? What about my wife? What if I tell her I want to humiliate her, how would that make her feel?

I just feel very confused. I'm ashamed of what I like. I feel like if I had a wife and I told her. She would stop liking me. And what if I told her I used to like it but not anymore? It's stuff like this that I think about.

It isn't a healthy fetish. But I'm stuck.

Just wanted your thoughts on all of this.
user
I'm a person who likes to be forced in clothes and cross dressing. I'm ashamed of this. I don't know if I want to stop. I don't want to. It's like a love hate relationship. If I stop, my fetishes would be gone. I don't know if I can take it. And if I don't take it, then
assistant
I was bullied a lot when I was younger. I was depressed and angry. Eventually I developed the desire to be sexually humiliated. Forced cross dressing and diapers. It's very pathetic and disgusting.

I am ashamed of my fetishes. I wish they would go away. It is a choice, I could choose to stop. But I don't want to. I want to and I don't want to. It's like I am addicted. A love hate relationship.

If I were to be with another woman, I feel like my fetishes would destory our relationship. She would see me as less of a man. 

And if thats the case, then I would have to find someone who WOULD accept my fetishes. What kind of woman is going to admire their man wearing dresses and diapers? Nobody, its just far too rare. I don't want to go searching. I don't like my fetishes. I hate them. Yet I love them. I LOVE how embarrised I feel, and it kind of bothers me. 

Here is my question. If I were to stop indulging in these fetishes. It would be over, right? Won't I still desire it? It's weird. Like, what if my wife asks me what turns me on? Oh hey I liked to be forced in your clothes and spanked over your knee. I don't think women are going to like that. I don't know what to think. Spanking is humiliation. Does this mean I can't be spanked without my desires for diapers coming back up? What about my wife? What if I tell her I want to humiliate her, how would that make her feel?

I just feel very confused. I'm ashamed of what I like. I feel like if I had a wife and I told her. She would stop liking me. And what if I told her I used to like it but not anymore? It's stuff like this that I think about.

It isn't a healthy fetish. But I'm stuck.

Just wanted your thoughts on all of this.
user
I am ashamed of my fetishes. Wants to stop but not sure. Wants to hurt my wife but future husband will not accept it.
assistant