well i have been with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years and it has been one of the happiest and most rewarding relationships of my adult life. we lived together for two years but decided to study at different universities while maintaing a long distance relationship.

now for the ~~fun~~ bit, just before last Christmas she started to act very distant and almost cold in a way that i have never seen before. it was christmas eve when we were lying in bed and her phone rings, jokingly i answer it assuming its somebody sending a christmas text or something. it wasn't, it was a guy, who was talking about how nice her legs had looked the other night. so my guts dropped with a thud so loud it could be heard in china.

now it turns out that while away at university, she had decided that she would dump me and then go spend christmas with this guy. **but** she had chickened out at the last minute. so although nothing *actually* happened, there was a lot of trust lost and its taken months to get back to normal.

however she is leaving for 8 months to study abroad in the USA and I've started to get that same cold distance i experienced before. so when i asked her about it she replied that "she couldn't trust herself not to make the same mistakes again.". Although she admits that last year she would've said that there was no chance she'd ever stray, she did.

even now she says that she loves me and doesn't want to leave me **but** she also says that she can't make the same promise again if its just going to end up getting me hurt.

Not really sure what I'm looking for here I'm just really struggling and hoped somebody might be able to help.
user
gf left to america, started to act like a really cold and distant person where before she was a really warm and loving person. says "she can't trust herself not to
assistant
well i have been with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years and it has been one of the happiest and most rewarding relationships of my adult life. we lived together for two years but decided to study at different universities while maintaing a long distance relationship.

now for the ~~fun~~ bit, just before last Christmas she started to act very distant and almost cold in a way that i have never seen before. it was christmas eve when we were lying in bed and her phone rings, jokingly i answer it assuming its somebody sending a christmas text or something. it wasn't, it was a guy, who was talking about how nice her legs had looked the other night. so my guts dropped with a thud so loud it could be heard in china.

now it turns out that while away at university, she had decided that she would dump me and then go spend christmas with this guy. **but** she had chickened out at the last minute. so although nothing *actually* happened, there was a lot of trust lost and its taken months to get back to normal.

however she is leaving for 8 months to study abroad in the USA and I've started to get that same cold distance i experienced before. so when i asked her about it she replied that "she couldn't trust herself not to make the same mistakes again.". Although she admits that last year she would've said that there was no chance she'd ever stray, she did.

even now she says that she loves me and doesn't want to leave me **but** she also says that she can't make the same promise again if its just going to end up getting me hurt.

Not really sure what I'm looking for here I'm just really struggling and hoped somebody might be able to help.
user
i need to be more trusting of my SO, SO needs to be able to trust herself. (also if anybody has any advice on disapproving parents it wouldn't hurt)
assistant