Background: We started dating while she was in grad school.  We separated after 3 years because she couldn't find a job locally and I didn't want to move.  She moved to the coast, I remained in the midwest.  6 months later we decided to do the long-distance thing because we miss each other (and it's still long-distance).  Been dating for about a year since and recently got engaged.  

I've heard the phrase "if you have to ask if you're in love, you're not in love."  Is this true?

My life is generally fantastic.  I'm a fairly independent guy, have a career that I love, make enough to be comfortable, enjoy my friends and hobbies.  And my life is made all the more fantastic with her in it.  She brings an enthusiasm for discovery that balances my desire for routine.  Her sharp mind catches details that fall straight out of my ears. 

Our relationship (both before and long-distance) has been fine in the day-to-day.  We chat daily, and visit frequently, go on adventures, cook delicious meals together, sex. But when it comes to the big questions (do I want to spend forever together, will I move cities to accommodate her career) I find myself hesitating.  A lot.  

She is hitting some unexpected bumps in the road of life.  Job opportunities are still not panning out for her in the midwest.  There's talk of getting a PhD in an undecided part of the country.  Add to the 5 years of poverty that comes with an advanced degree.  I can't bring myself to sacrifice my own career, finances, proximity to family, or potential freedom / life choices / opportunities for her.
user
Is it possible to be in love and still have doubts?
assistant
Background: We started dating while she was in grad school.  We separated after 3 years because she couldn't find a job locally and I didn't want to move.  She moved to the coast, I remained in the midwest.  6 months later we decided to do the long-distance thing because we miss each other (and it's still long-distance).  Been dating for about a year since and recently got engaged.  

I've heard the phrase "if you have to ask if you're in love, you're not in love."  Is this true?

My life is generally fantastic.  I'm a fairly independent guy, have a career that I love, make enough to be comfortable, enjoy my friends and hobbies.  And my life is made all the more fantastic with her in it.  She brings an enthusiasm for discovery that balances my desire for routine.  Her sharp mind catches details that fall straight out of my ears. 

Our relationship (both before and long-distance) has been fine in the day-to-day.  We chat daily, and visit frequently, go on adventures, cook delicious meals together, sex. But when it comes to the big questions (do I want to spend forever together, will I move cities to accommodate her career) I find myself hesitating.  A lot.  

She is hitting some unexpected bumps in the road of life.  Job opportunities are still not panning out for her in the midwest.  There's talk of getting a PhD in an undecided part of the country.  Add to the 5 years of poverty that comes with an advanced degree.  I can't bring myself to sacrifice my own career, finances, proximity to family, or potential freedom / life choices / opportunities for her.
user
I'm scared of commitment / money / career / rural /
assistant