This is mainly about me, but she is definitely mixed in now.

I've come to the conclusion that I have some type of insecurity issue based on my own personal beliefs. I need major help. I know once I explain the issue, I'll probably be downvoted for simply being a piece of shit. But I am honestly looking for some type of solution here, I'm not looking for justification of my thoughts.

So here it is, bluntly. I believe that I would cheat if I knew I could get away with it 100%. I don't know if I would let the guilt get to me or not, since I've not actually done it. That's not the point. The point is, I feel that, because I hold this belief, that everyone else does as well, they just don't admit it. So that makes me think my girlfriend would do it and that I wouldn't know.

 I am paranoid that I'll found out a couple years down the road that she's been cheating and that it will all be wasted time. It occupies my thoughts and I truly want some advice on maybe how to change this view of mine or maybe how to not worry so damn much. Anytime she goes anywhere I'm nervous that she's seeing someone. I don't ride her case and interrogate her like you would assume though. I just ball it all up inside and die slowly. It needs to stop and I need help doing it before it truly ruins myself and what I WANT to be a long term relationship.

Please, I know how bad it sounds. I really want a paradigm shift but have been stuck like this for a while and I just can't help it.
user
I'm a piece of shit. I'm worried I will find out I can cheat and end up a cheater.
assistant
This is mainly about me, but she is definitely mixed in now.

I've come to the conclusion that I have some type of insecurity issue based on my own personal beliefs. I need major help. I know once I explain the issue, I'll probably be downvoted for simply being a piece of shit. But I am honestly looking for some type of solution here, I'm not looking for justification of my thoughts.

So here it is, bluntly. I believe that I would cheat if I knew I could get away with it 100%. I don't know if I would let the guilt get to me or not, since I've not actually done it. That's not the point. The point is, I feel that, because I hold this belief, that everyone else does as well, they just don't admit it. So that makes me think my girlfriend would do it and that I wouldn't know.

 I am paranoid that I'll found out a couple years down the road that she's been cheating and that it will all be wasted time. It occupies my thoughts and I truly want some advice on maybe how to change this view of mine or maybe how to not worry so damn much. Anytime she goes anywhere I'm nervous that she's seeing someone. I don't ride her case and interrogate her like you would assume though. I just ball it all up inside and die slowly. It needs to stop and I need help doing it before it truly ruins myself and what I WANT to be a long term relationship.

Please, I know how bad it sounds. I really want a paradigm shift but have been stuck like this for a while and I just can't help it.
user
I'm a shitty person and am looking to change it for the sake of my relationship and am in
assistant