I've grappled with the relationship question for many years: should I finally find a SO or is it okay to stay single forever? I've been single for many years (my one and only boyfriend is from high school!) so my experience with romantic relationships is next to zero. I feel like I've wasted enough time telling myself one thing or another ("Someone to love would be great! Companionship!" "No! A relationship is too oppressive! All the strings!") so other perspectives are nice. 

I'm a very private person. I don't particularly care to seek out meeting new people, but I would talk to people if I have the chance. EX. I don't go to parties at all but I would chat with new co-workers when I get new ones. I prefer to spend my time pursuing hobbies and things that interest me.

What scares me about relationships are all the stories I hear about women finding stalkers or abusive partners and the prospect of having to find someone that would be attracted to me (I have very low self-esteem in that regard...I've been teased about being ugly growing up). That makes me go back to my "well it's better to be single anyway".

On the flip side: while I'm 26 now and being single hasn't been much of a problem (it's been very comfortable actually), how would things be when I'm 40 or 50? Or when I'm an elderly without a spouse or kids? Would I be able to support myself? Someone to love and spend time with sounds really nice!

Before people tell me "it's okay to be single, it's just society telling us we should all be partnered up!": I know that. I just can't tell if I say that to myself because I don't make the effort to meet new people. Plus, I love the idea of romance and love, which puts a little wrinkle in it all.
user
Does staying single forever scare you?
assistant
I've grappled with the relationship question for many years: should I finally find a SO or is it okay to stay single forever? I've been single for many years (my one and only boyfriend is from high school!) so my experience with romantic relationships is next to zero. I feel like I've wasted enough time telling myself one thing or another ("Someone to love would be great! Companionship!" "No! A relationship is too oppressive! All the strings!") so other perspectives are nice. 

I'm a very private person. I don't particularly care to seek out meeting new people, but I would talk to people if I have the chance. EX. I don't go to parties at all but I would chat with new co-workers when I get new ones. I prefer to spend my time pursuing hobbies and things that interest me.

What scares me about relationships are all the stories I hear about women finding stalkers or abusive partners and the prospect of having to find someone that would be attracted to me (I have very low self-esteem in that regard...I've been teased about being ugly growing up). That makes me go back to my "well it's better to be single anyway".

On the flip side: while I'm 26 now and being single hasn't been much of a problem (it's been very comfortable actually), how would things be when I'm 40 or 50? Or when I'm an elderly without a spouse or kids? Would I be able to support myself? Someone to love and spend time with sounds really nice!

Before people tell me "it's okay to be single, it's just society telling us we should all be partnered up!": I know that. I just can't tell if I say that to myself because I don't make the effort to meet new people. Plus, I love the idea of romance and love, which puts a little wrinkle in it all.
user
I'm a 26F who's ever only
assistant