We just started dating and I haven't gotten along this well with someone in YEARS. We have the same sense of humor, adventure, taste in art, he has ambition, treats me like a queen, and the sex is awesome! The only difference is our hygiene habits :( 

I was on cloud 9 until I saw his apartment. Dirty clothes everywhere, hasn't vacuumed in years, money lying around in random places (he does not believe in wallets wtf??), grime in the bathtub, beard trimmings in the sink, even poop stains in the toilet bowl! I was waking up sick every time I stayed over until my body got used to the germs. He smells bad sometimes too and doesn't like to shower. When he does shower he doesn't use soap or shampoo so he still smells afterwards. 

I am very distracted, uncomfortable, and embarrassed by his hygiene habits. I told him that I was not okay with this the first time I went to his place. He said he liked things clean too, that he just "got behind" and that he'd call a maid service. That was two months ago now and if anything it's dirtier.

I keep running through ways to talk about it in my head. I don't want to be a nag and I don't want to give an ultimatum, but when I picture a future with him I imagine myself cleaning up after him all the time. My parents are coming to visit in a month and I'm scared to introduce him to them because I'm afraid he'll smell. He' rubbing up against a boundary for me. I'm almost 27 though and I feel like I should hang on to someone that meets all these other needs i.e. trustworthiness, kind, artistic, ambitious, etc. At the same time I do not want to invest time and energy into someone that I am ultimately incompatible with :(

Is this a deal breaker??? How can I tell him it's either me or the mess?? PLZ HALP!!!
user
boyfriend has dirty habits, don't know how to tell him I'm not okay with it.
assistant
We just started dating and I haven't gotten along this well with someone in YEARS. We have the same sense of humor, adventure, taste in art, he has ambition, treats me like a queen, and the sex is awesome! The only difference is our hygiene habits :( 

I was on cloud 9 until I saw his apartment. Dirty clothes everywhere, hasn't vacuumed in years, money lying around in random places (he does not believe in wallets wtf??), grime in the bathtub, beard trimmings in the sink, even poop stains in the toilet bowl! I was waking up sick every time I stayed over until my body got used to the germs. He smells bad sometimes too and doesn't like to shower. When he does shower he doesn't use soap or shampoo so he still smells afterwards. 

I am very distracted, uncomfortable, and embarrassed by his hygiene habits. I told him that I was not okay with this the first time I went to his place. He said he liked things clean too, that he just "got behind" and that he'd call a maid service. That was two months ago now and if anything it's dirtier.

I keep running through ways to talk about it in my head. I don't want to be a nag and I don't want to give an ultimatum, but when I picture a future with him I imagine myself cleaning up after him all the time. My parents are coming to visit in a month and I'm scared to introduce him to them because I'm afraid he'll smell. He' rubbing up against a boundary for me. I'm almost 27 though and I feel like I should hang on to someone that meets all these other needs i.e. trustworthiness, kind, artistic, ambitious, etc. At the same time I do not want to invest time and energy into someone that I am ultimately incompatible with :(

Is this a deal breaker??? How can I tell him it's either me or the mess?? PLZ HALP!!!
user
My boyfriend is an asshole. I told him I was not okay with this and he said it was normal. It's not. I need to know if I'm not okay with him being a jerk or if I shouldn't
assistant