>

Dumb ass.
1,700 word email.
tl/dr - You don't work here anymore. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. Have a great day! >

In recent layoffs at the company a friend of mine works at (10-15% of the company), they suddenly just suspended all the emails, IM, and other logins of affected staff then had a company-wide meeting 30 mins later to cover what was happening during this "period of restructuring".
I would prefer that fate to having to read a fucking essay about the subject. >

Does the name of company your friend works for rhyme with boogle by any chance, heard the exact same thing this week >

Nope. But this sort of thing is common in the industry. For reasons below:
From an organizational standpoint it's "best" to fire someone before they know they're fired (as in: pre-emptively lock them out of accounts). That way they can't make backups and take notes of ongoing work and projects that they could use as leverage to get a new job, or as vengeance. In some cases, for example if your organization has certain security/safety accreditations (ISO, etc), then locking people out of accounts before an official layoff might actually be required to conform to the accreditation. >

I saw an ex-Boogler post on LinkedIn that he was on-call when his access was cut off and went the extra mile to let someone know he’d been laid off and someone would need to take over. When ex-employees care more about the operation of the business than the C-Suite… >

That sounds like a wasted energy to me. >

I don’t disagree and a lot of other people in the comments thought so too. Others said don’t leave your co-workers hanging since it’s not their fault. Guy had worked there for a lot of years so I think he was in shock/auto-pilot. >

The funny part is it inspired an AI writing prompt to deliver the same news and have the same cringe message in it and it was somehow better than hers. >

Thank you. I was just going to look up which came first. I was worried she copied the AI letter. >

I have a dream. To fire all of you. >

well i tried using chat GPT to do this, but got denied. this is bizarre. i was able to do it 2 days ago. but now it won't let me.  Got shot down as Ghandhi and as the pope too. Got shot down doing a layoff letter as William Wallace and Aragorn too. Aragorn laying people off is offensive? wtf? They might take your jobs, but they will never take your ability to get another job! They are cracking down on fun. 

I'm sorry, but it's not appropriate to combine a layoff letter with Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech. The purpose and tone of these two types of writing are vastly different, and combining them could be seen as insensitive and inappropriate.

Had success doing this as Xenu, Satan, and Cartman. Was able to do a layoff letter as Putin, but it was just generic. 
for now I can still do it as Dr. Seuss

Dear [Employee Name],
Oh my, oh my, what do I spy?
It's time to say goodbye, my dear friend, goodbye.
With a heavy heart, I must let you know
That your job at [Company Name] must now go.
It's not that we don't love you, don't you see?
It's just that we need to make some changes, you and me.
[Reason for layoff] is the cause, I'm afraid,
And it means your time with us must now fade.
But don't be blue, don't you shed a tear,
We'll provide [details of severance and benefits], don't you fear.
And if you need a hand, our HR team's here,
To help you through this transition, don't you fear.
So, my friend, as we go our separate ways,
Remember the fun times and all the good days.
Best wishes for your future, may it be bright,
And always remember, you were a delight!
Farewell, my friend, farewell,
[Your Name]
[Company Name] >

Have you tried Mr. Rogers? >

I tried but it didn't understand. Was able to get Bob Ross though:
Dear [Employee Name],
I hope this letter finds you surrounded by beauty and inspiration. I am writing to let you know that, after careful consideration, we have decided to end your employment at the Bob Ross Inc.
Your time with us has been filled with creativity and passion, and I want to thank you for the many contributions you have made to our organization. However, it has become clear that it is time for us to part ways, and for you to explore new opportunities and challenges.
Please know that this decision was not made lightly, and I have the utmost respect for your talents and skills. I encourage you to continue to spread joy and positivity through your work, and to always remember that there are no mistakes, only happy accidents.
If there is anything I can do to assist in your transition, please do not hesitate to reach out.
Sincerely,
Bob Ross >

Oof that line about happy accidents 🫣 >

I could've sworn I saw a ChatGPT prompt the other day apologizing for layoffs, giving leadership a raise as well as a quote from Martin Luther King Jr. This was the quote lol. >

Yea that was my first thought too. I guess that one was parody of this. >

~~This actually happened before the Pagerduty layoff -- are you saying matty stratton parodied something that hadn't happened yet?~~ I didn't see that the layoff email was on the 24th. I only heard about it on the 27th. >

I would say plagiarized >

You’re fired. And in other news congratulations to me on being a great leader. Source: MLK himself. >

My boss quoted Winnie the Pooh on our layoff announcement. Not even joking
“how lucky i am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” >

Yuck >


PagerDuty CEO Jennifer Tejada wrote in a 1,700-word email that the digital operations management company was making a few other changes, including promoting some executives and trimming spending. Tejada's email was also posted on the company's website.  
Toward the end of the announcement, Tejada said the moment reminded her of Martin Luther King Jr.'s quote that "the ultimate measure of a [leader] is not where [they] stand in the moments of comfort and convenience, but where [they] stand in times of challenge and controversy."

Lady, if you're going to sugar coat bullshit, at least be straight with it and don't stroke you're ego as do you so. How hard is it to say; "Due to A* we have to layoff X amount of employees. We apologize to those we have to let go and thank you for your time and effort in trying to make company succeed."
​
* Made a profitable quarter but not enough for an executive to reach their bonus goals so they're down sizing to make up the difference in cost to get it. >

She continued “…and I stand employed, while you do not….for I too was a drum major” >

Band-nerd here: what? >

Internet-person here: google? >

Unimpressed person here >

Not sure what I can do for you here unfortunately >

Best of luck with that >

Yes, I'm sure the guy who led the March on Washingtom for JOBS and Freedoms would support mass layoffs. >

PagerDuty CEO Jennifer Tejada got a 98% pay raise in 2022. She could easily afford to pay someone to write a decent layoff letter to send out. >

I couldn’t believe she put promotions in that layoff email. That email was beyond tone deaf. It was only missing a reference to hanging out in Hawaii for president’s club. >

Now that's tone-deaf... >

I wish companies would be like, hey, we're laying people off. Not your fault, it happens. We will be happy to provide a reference. >

TL:DR, it wasn't the I have a dream speech but the mountain top speech. 
"We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop.
And I don't mind.
Like anybody, I would like to have a secure job. Security has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do the Board's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, the executive leadership, will get to the promised land!" >

“You could also say Free at last! Free at last!” >

No job tonight-y, you're free at last! >

I'm guessing it wasn't this quote?

New economic patterning through automation is dissolving the jobs of workers in some of the nation's basic industries. This is to me a catastrophe. We are neither technologically advanced nor socially enlightened if we witness this disaster for tens of thousands without finding a solution. And by a solution, I mean a real and genuine alternative, providing the same living standards which were swept away by a force called progress, but which for some is destruction. The society that performs miracles with machinery has the capacity to make some miracles for men—if it values men as highly as it values machines.

Maybe this one? 

The labor movement was the principal force that transformed misery and despair into hope and progress. Out of its bold struggles, economic and social reform gave birth to unemployment insurance, old age pensions, government relief for the destitute, and above all new wage levels that meant not mere survival, but a tolerable life. The captains of industry did not lead this transformation; they resisted it until they were overcome. >

wait this actually happened? I thought this was literally just a joke people were doing with chatgpt >

im suprised she didnt choose to go with this one:  

And one day we must ask the question, 'Why are there forty million poor people in America? And when you begin to ask that question, you are raising questions about the economic system, about a broader distribution of wealth.' When you ask that question, you begin to question the capitalistic economy. And I'm simply saying that more and more, we've got to begin to ask questions about the whole society..." >

As MLK said, "I have a dream." My dream is to cut expenses so the board doesn't fire me. Therefore, you are. >

“I’m not afraid of any man! Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord! Your COBRA coverage extends through October.” >

High-functioning sociopath. You'll find a lot of them in leadership positions. >

"I have a dream that all shareholders shall see profit. Not from there own hard work, but from the firing of others" >


Toward the end of the announcement, Tejada said the moment reminded her of Martin Luther King Jr.'s quote that "the ultimate measure of a [leader] is not where [they] stand in the moments of comfort and convenience, but where [they] stand in times of challenge and controversy." 

Firing you is very leader-y of me >

What the fuck is going on with tech CEOs and butched layoffs recently? Is it a competition? Who gets the title of biggest asshole?
They're all winners if you ask me. >

Tone deaf AF. Everyone saw through her BS >

this inspired me to go to chat gpt and write a layoff letter as martin luther king. 
I am going to hell. Also generated one as Dr. Seuss. >

Executives are not human and this settles it. >

Free at last free at last. Thank God Almighty free at last >

I have seen the promised land! Those of you on this email are not coming with me. >

Tailor-made for an episode of “Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me.” >

I have a dream that you’re all fired. >

Did...did she just plagerize the chatGPT layoff notice? >

That's what some people in the thread of the original Tweet thought the CEO's executive assistant did. But the layoff was actually before the Twitter post. >

I have a dream! That I no longer have to pay you motherfuckers. >

If you aren’t ok with being fired you are a racist.