>

“Steps” is outdated, but still a common turn of phrase. It implies life is a linear set of goals. Maybe if you pictured it as a trail? Like, I’m not ready to go down the marriage path, but am super comfortable on the moving in together path.
"We're not ready for the next step yet" is just a simpler way of saying "We're happy where this relationship is right now but we're not ready for a deeper level of commitment". There aren't actually any "steps" it's just an easier way of explaining their relationship.
I love my boyfriend and we plan to be together for the rest of our lives but I wouldn't have moved in together after our first date because we weren't ready. I could also say we weren't ready to take that step and it means exactly the same thing >

It's not logical. If you love each other and plan to be together for the rest of your lives then you're ready to marry and move in. If you're not ready to marry and move in then you're not sure that you love each other enough and can be together for the rest of your lives. Everything else is bs. >

I'll say like this. I'm happily married but I am not willing to become a parent. So I decided to stay on stage of 2 person family. I'm not ready, and propably never will, to get to next step, whitch is having kids. Nope. Even if you think if I love somebody I should do all what's in the package. I think opposite >

Having children has nothing to do with it. It's not a "step" in a relationship, it's a separate question. Some people never want to have kids. It's a choice. >

It's your opinion. And I think you're the first person I faced who sees it this way >

Okay. If some people don't wan to have kids, do they have an "incomplete" relationship? How do they live without this step?
If someone wants to adopt a child without a relationship, then what's this? If a woman gets pregnant but doesn't have a partner and decides to have a kid anyway, then where this "step" is located? >

Trust me when I say, I've heared thousands times it is an incomplete relationship. It was like "why you even got married if you don't want kids?" or "you're waisting him time if you don't want kids, you should split". Like i said, you're the first person I have interaction with, who thinks kids is not the next obligatory step 🤣 >

You're oversimplifying the meaning of "we're not ready for the next step yet". What people mean by this is that the relationship is quite new to them and there are other things they want to know about each other before getting into, let's say, sex.  
Why are you so angry about the concept of relationships changing and flourishing over time? People "becoming comfortable with each other quickly" is still a process that takes time and effort. "Hitting it off" is not the only thing you need for a relationship. You need trust, knowledge and simply knowing the other person better. The "levels" you're talking about aren't linear and universal. Some people will feel comfortable quicker than others and be fine with having sex and getting into a full relationship on a second date. That's great for them. But others need time to feel ready to have sex, kiss or cuddle and that's perfectly fine aswell.  
I'm just trying to understand why you're so angry about this. You just sound entitled and impatient. >

Isn't sex always the first step? >

Nope >

So you're the "first date in the morning, married in the afternoon, having kids by dinner" type then.
Moving a little fast for my tastes, but you do you. >

More like: OP is 14 years old, has never been in a serious relationship before, and is bitter that their crush isn’t into them. >

Right? Also OP was just recently told by someone that the someone isn't ready for the next step... >

Not allowing people time to adjust (no matter how much time they need) is a huge red flag.
Personally, If we were dating and you said this, I would probably think you were trying to trap me. I would start assuming you're abusive, and becoming impatient with me. Not really something I'd be into, so obviously would end our "relationship" earlier than if you had just respected my boundaries and feelings. >

Have you ever been in a relationship OP?
If you start pulling long-term behaviour in the beginning stages of dating, most people are going to end it or straight up ghost you. It's unhealthy and weird to rush into things.
Like you don't just move in together within a week. Some people want time when it comes to even kissing let alone having sex. If someone isn't at a 'stage' it's a personal choice/boundary. >

Buttplay and grave plots kinda come later >

Have you ever been in a relationship? >

Doesn't sound like it. >

This post gives off "Recently rejected high-school" vibes. >

I too was once 12 >

Yeah fr >

This is just a bad take. >

Are you in high school? This reaks of “teenager with no relationship experience” >

Upvote for the unpopular opinion.
You sound like you have very little relationship experience.  This post reads like it was written by a school girl with an infatuation. >

I don't even feel like this is an opinion, it's a misconception lol. >

Some people need time to get comfortable to the level of other couples. You can hit it off and still want to ease your way into a relationship. >

How would you describe the difference between dating and being married to someone then?
You can't pretend a 2 week old relationship has the same "level" of commitment as a 2 year or even 20 year relationship. Differentiation is a thing. >

someone told you they were not ready yet, eh? >

So... if two 19 year olds are deeply in love, they should move in together, get married and directly start to have children with each other? 
Timing is everything. And growing up is realsing that finding someone you love and who loves you back is in fact not everything. Sometimes not even that is enough. >

So you think if two people like each other they should marry right after the first date? >

So you’re upset the person you like doesn’t want to sleep with you right off the bat? Seems to be the read I’m getting from your replies.
You have a lot of growing to do, sadly doesn’t seem like you’re willing. >

Sounds like this guys mad cause a girl doesn’t wanna f him straight away >

So you should move in with someone immediately as soon as you start dating? >

I feel like there’s always a stage in a romantic relationship before it’s official, you move in together, you marry, have babies. How long these stages are is for everybody different but maybe OP doesn’t like to call these things stages. >

I feel like this has to come from someone who’s 14 or has the emotional intelligence of a 14 year old. The whole point of dating is to see if this person is really someone you’d like to spend a lot of time with or even the rest of your life. You can’t possibly know that in the first day or perhaps week or month etc of dating. You have to build up to that awareness. You have to get to know them essentially. So saying you’re not ready for the next stage is like saying yeah we are comfortable in our current phase of our relationship either because we don’t know each other well enough to know if it’s a forever thing or we aren’t old enough to even have the self awareness to know what we want or we are just enjoying the current flow. >

Idk everyone's different. We definitely go through stages, at just about everything. For example, I can clearly separate my life into differe stages categorized by certain realities of that time. Like, when I was in highschool vs college vs fresh grad vs established career, etc. >

Rushing into commitments and lovebombing each other isn't healthy. If it's one-sided, you are probably the victim of a narcissist or fraud. >

Sounds like op is the type of person who wants to rush their partner into sex, marriage, or children without any regard to their partner’s comfort level. Red flag. >

Sounds like op got the knockback… what was it op?
you try to get some?
Ask for a key to their house??
God help you if you proposed and got a no??? You don’t recover from that one. 
Talk to me who hurt you? 
Or >

I get the distinct feeling you've never been in a relationship >

Same, at least not a serious one. >

Rushing into anything is never good. You need time to really get to know someone. If you jump the gun with people, it's only a matter of time till you realize the reality of who they are isn't the fantasized version you created from your feelings. Most relationships statistically end when couples move in together why do you think that is? The hard realization comes that liking some one is simply not enough. >

This sounds like someone who hasn’t had a long term relationship. You’re relationship goes through stages even if it starts off amazingly it goes through stages where it gets better and things change. You do have to wait till you feel like it feels right before moving to the next step. If you go from first date to engagement that could go badly. >

And sometimes it doesn’t get better as it goes on. Everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning. But eventually you get more comfortable and the mask slips until it’s completely off and you’re truly yourself. And sometimes your true self isn’t tolerable for other people. You want to know that before you make big commitments. >

This is very true. I’m comparing it to my current relationship which is amazing but have had relationships where that happens >

Exactly, me too. As time went on in my last relationship I realized it wasn’t good. But in my current one, as time goes on it feels more right and I want to take the next step. >

The stages you're referring to are actually crucial to developing a healthy relationship.  For example, would you move in with someone without knowing if they maintain their home similar to you or better/worse?   Are you just going to pump kids into someone without knowing how they operate under stress or are you just going to make all of these life-altering decisions based on the first 5 minutes of knowing them? Don't even get me started on the financial aspect of relationships because I can spit out books on it. >

You never got over the honeymoon phase, right? >

Tell me you've never been in a relationship without saying you've never been in a relationship. >

As it turns out, when you make decisions/ agreements/ commitments with other people, you have to have words for them so you're both on the same page as to what the decisions/ agreements/ commitments are, and you can communicate expectations.
Life is not a Disney movie. >

You had me in the first half, but then i thought about it and this applies to people who have been in long term relationships, maybe 3+ years but if you’re relatively newer to the relationship you have to build your trust up. Can’t just be trusting everyone, especially nowadays. Cheating is like eating candy to some people >

I was going to respond to this seriously until I looked at your post history.
Yikes. >

I texted someone once, we hit it off and got married later that day. >

This is a great exception. Anyways god of the Rizz to you >

Met a guy on the subway on the way to the courthouse and he was the best man. >

This usually happens in an abundance of caution.  Especially at the beginning, both will be trying to be what the other is looking for.  Over time (weeks to years), the true person will reveal themselves.  It woul dbe silly to rush into a lifetime commitment without both partners being completely honest with each other and that takes time. >

Says the persons who clearly hasn’t been in a lot of long relationships 
People aren’t making some game of levels, they are observing retroactively and in the moment how they feel and act with their partner, nobody has control over how quickly they get comfortable or not
Again, I think there should be an age minimum for this sub >

The 5 stages of a relationship, according to Dr . Knapp. 
Initiation 
Experimentation 
Intensification 
Integration 
Bonding >

The bullshit you just spewed is all just a MAJOR red flag 🚩 >

The typical "I would actually agree with the concept but am too ignorant and emotional to come to that conclusion by myself". But, as usual, their issue goes beyond ignorance but personal offense with the language being used, making any progress discussing it useless. So we're left with a petty tantrum in which one person can't accept a perfectly reasonable, unoffensive use of language that's used by over a billion other people... >

What >

tl;dr: they are refusing to understand a simple concept used by billions that they do agree with >

I don’t even know how to respond to this I just know op has not been in long term relationships >

Sounds like you have never ever ever being in anykind of relationship with any other living creature. 
Buster, even friendships has obvious steps that you start noticing in kindergarten and primary school (you may are bad socializing, but you're clever enough to realize relationships can grown like plants do). >

Something tells me you’ve never dated before but heck that’s not really an excuse cause I’ve never been in a relationship & I know you’re FOS >


I think If two people really like each other they will hit it off right away and become comfortable with each other quickly, because they actually like each other.

It takes time to get to know someone properly. Going on a couple dates is nothing.
Honestly you don't really truly know someone until you've lived with them for a few months at least, that's my view. >

This has to be bait >

I barely know anyone who when they meet someone they like, then after a few dates they’ve moved in together, gotten married and have a kid just cuz they are comfortable with one another. >

We should marry or move in with someone if the first few dates went really well?
How long was your longest relationship, a week? >

Someone doesn’t know what healthy boundaries are!!! >

Not everyone is ready to screw you just because the first date was nice lol we created video game levels to mimic real life, we didn’t as OP has implied change our way of speaking to conform to video games. >

Someone got butthurt >

Considering OPs post history I’m going to take a guess and put their age at 15.
Stick to the video games and marvel movies, rather than giving opinions on the progression of adult relationships kiddo. >

not only unpopular, but a dangerous opinion. It sounds like you haven't been properly burned by manipulative narcissists/psychopaths who can put on a good show for a few months imitating a generous, ambitious, loving person. These people seem easy to spot when other folks tell stories about them, but when you come into contact with such a person, there is a high chance you'll get fooled by them since it's shocking how comfortable they are lying to your face.
Trust should be earned in stages. If a stranger wants to check out your gun, you don't say "sure, just don't shoot me". Likewise, it's actually quite stupid to go "Wow! we have such great chemistry, let's move in together tomorrow." >

OP, while you didn't say this, but, you know this reasoning can be used to apply creation of week/month/seaons? Because those are basically just "stages" in time.
The purpose of having those quantifiable stage/step/phase is to make something abstract easier to understand. When I sad, I am in Summar stage, I know the days would be hot, not cold. Same with relationships, when we said we are in honeymoon stage, it means we are still lovey lovey and intimate.
It is not some kind of game. It is just a helper vocabulary that associated to a list of abstract behaviors. >

Did you try to hit a home run and got upset that they didn’t give you consent and now have a different opinion of you? Things definitely have to deal with stages, like are they even comfortable to fart in front of you? Or like having a baby with someone is a big deal and a very big stage to step into. You’re not ready for relationships kiddo. >

OP is the type of person who marries someone they met a month ago and gets divorced more times than they go on vacation lol >

OP proposed to his girlfriend of 2 weeks and he’s mad she said no >

Friend, I’m going to assume you have never been in a serious relationship. You do not simply go from “I like this person” to “I want to marry this person and spend my life with them” instantly. It does, in fact, take time to really deeply know a person. You do naturally go through phases as the relationship progresses. You learn more about each other’s behavior. You’ll learn new things that make you appreciate and love the other person so much more. Or you’ll learn about behaviors that make you see them in a negative way you never would have imagined. And everything in between. 
You’ll understand this one day, but if you don’t understand it now, it’s either because you haven’t experienced it at all yourself or you lack some ability to understand how interpersonal relationships work on a fundamental level. >

youre taking the meaning of the phrase and the terms too literally bud. >

You're right. Im going to text my crush and ask them to marry me. No need for anything in between. >

LOL well someone has either.
A. Never been in a relationship ever or 
B.  Working on his/her fifth divorce. >

You can click all day but when you live together, things change quickly. >

You think cause you start dating someone you expect sex right away? Tf
Shit usually takes time and trust to build up to get yourself and your partner comfortable for it.
If you wanna just smash and go then look for hookups cause chances are you aint getting that off your typical romantic relationships lol >

i’m guessing 15 years old and never had a relationship based on comments >

It does make sense tho, I’m not gonna move in and have kids with a person I started dating 6 months ago, that’s not a plan in my life right now. My relationship is still real and valid however I’m not ready to live with them and coparent for 18 years. That’s not what I want now but in 5 years sure, so no we’re not at the level of having kids, and that’s okay. >

The final boss is to fight her ex. If you get beat down, everything before was for nothing 🤣🤣 >

Something tells me that you've never been in a relationship >

Tell us you've never had a relationship without telling us you've never had a relationship >

ITT How to tell me you've never experienced a manipulative dark-triad partner without telling me you've never experienced a manipulative dark-triad partner >

This would insinuate that you're the problem. >

I agree with this. >

Everyone has different stages in life when they are either ready to jump in head first or need to take it slow due to whatever past and present times they are dealing with emotionally. To date someone means you must be sensitive and acknowledge where they are at. To fall in love means knowing and understanding that other persons needs and wants. It’s not always about you >

Being told that you need to go through stages before the next step is also being told that you arent getting laid. Next time, hear that and maybe things will be clearer. >

Most experienced redditor in relationship advice >

I don't think you are looking at this from the right perspective honestly. Hitting it off right away and feeling comfortable with each other can actually be the easier part of it. Taking time and building solid foundations of love, trust, and friendship are very important to go through before committing. It is way smarter to truly get to know someone and take your time with it before plunging into serious commitments like living together, marriage, and having children. It isn't about going through levels to the next stages. This is nothing like a video game. It is about substance and putting in the work to ensure the relationship is successful. >

I mean i can see why.
When you first meet someone for like 30 seconds. Are you instantly ready to move in, bang them and commit your life to them forever? 
Id reckon not. You’re going to want to spend time getting to know them. Making sure you click and that you like them and that they like you. And even when you’ve established that you’ll want to spend more time to make sure they are as they appear to be. 
That takes a lot of time and its very common for one or both people to figure out a long the way that they don’t work out for each other for any number of reasons. Much easier to break it off along the way if you’re just seeing each other. >

Uh...no. I mean, for some people, ok. But for me, no. Trust takes time. 
I will say, though, that when people say shit like this after they've been seeing someone for a while, it's a red flag. It generally means you don't feel comfortable enough for the relationship to progress naturally. >

If you think you can actually know who someone really is, love them deeply, and build deep trust that quickly and are willing to risk your time assets and heart without throughly vetting them for a good long while…
That sounds really dumb. At best puppy love. Some people can hide who they really are for a decade or two, but most everyone can hide their flaws for at least at few months. >

I agree. So I've learned the hard way if they're really questionable that early it won't get better lmao >

Hitting it off right away and becoming comfortable quickly is absolutely no indication that that person is not dangerous. This is such a silly take. It takes time to truly get to know someone and especially in the beginning it’s very easy for people to only show their good side. Rushing into things can have very serious consequences. Lots of people fall into abusive relationships for this reason. >

Are you ready to open a joint checking account after your first date? >

Who hurt you >

that’s a long way you’ve never been in a relationship before 😧 >

Probably thinks each stage has them level up and gain more mana too. Who sets the stages? How big is the board? Is there a boss fight at the end? Dating IS an experiment from just a friend, to liking, to loving and to (hopefully) finally marry. Maybe they’re stuck at the tutorial and don’t want to invest all their time, money, sanity, etc. 
OP thinks love will conquer all because they just “like” each other which is just the honey moon phase. Once you want to take the next “step” for deeper commitment, life will hit you in the face. They might be nice to you but rude to people especially when you go out and you might not like that. Maybe they hate your friends and family but you actually like him/her. Do you just wipe and start over? Or do you keep playing this game even without support? >

Would you call a best friend any stranger that comes over to your house? If not, why do you think building a love relationship is any different than building friendships? >

Looks like someone needs to brush up on consent just to be safe >

Semantics. You are right that relationships don't move in steps,  but are more like a boat in a stream which may or may not have some common milestones that you pass along the way,  but it's not exactly measured steps. It also that milestones are different for different couples, (sex first,  then meet the parents,  or parents first? Get married then have kids? Have kids, then meet the parents?) >

so once y’all get together you should immodestly start fucking on furniture? >


Just because you like each other doesn’t mean you’re compatible. 2. It’s one thing to like someone, another to trust them, and another to want to have sex with them. Emotional attraction, physical attraction, and sexual attraction are all three different things. You can like someone’s face without liking their personality just as you can like someone’s personality without wanting to plow them into the mattress. Your post just reads as immature and inexperienced. >

wheres the opinion? >

How to say your bad at relationships without saying your bad relationships. Reading OPS comments makes be believe he/she has never been in one. >

POV: OP has never been in a serious relationship. >

Consequences of rushing to a level of life changing commitment before fully getting to know someone: massive financial losses, divorce, broken families, being homeless because you have to move out, having to lose a pet because the partner chose to keep them, potentially your life or autonomy if they're super abusive
​
Consequences to taking the relationship super slow and working your way up to the closest and deepest commitments: 0 >

the reason this is a thing is because you need time to get to know someone. if you met a stranger on the street, even if you both hit it off really well, would you immediately want to move in with then? any relationship takes time to develop. it’s not like you can learn everything about someone on the first date or even the first 50 dates.
there’s also an intense chemical reaction that occurs in your brain when entering a new relationship. every time you think about or talk to this new person your brain is flooded with dopamine and endorphins that create the super intense feeling of love for someone. those chemical reactions begin to fade after about 2 years, which is a great time to reassess any relationship you’re in because you finally get to see how much of that love is you actually into someone or just blinded by the dopamine. >

A healthy relationship is built on trust and mutual respect for one another (though, obviously, there's more to it than that). That just doesn't happen overnight. >

Haha wait till you get married..you’ll get it then. >

I mean, upvote for unpopular. On a personal level, I love my boyfriend, but we started dating each other pretty quickly after we both got out of long term relationships with other people, both of which moved a little too fast. We decided to hold off on a big “stage” like living together until we’ve been dating a couple of years, we want to make sure we’re ready for that step. So far, it’s been a lot healthier than my previous relationship where we jumped into moving in together way too quickly. It’s been almost two years, and we’re looking at moving in together this winter. The time is right at this stage, but it wasn’t right in an earlier stage. That doesn’t mean we didn’t like each other right away, we definitely did. Getting to know each other is really important and is a lot more complicated than just initially getting along and liking each other. You can’t get to know someone really well in one day, so having those steps or stages and determining whether it’s the right relationship for you is actually super important and I think most people would agree. >

This is not how relationships work though. You build them over time. It takes effort and you progress together. >

hello Goofy! the words must be a difficult territory for you; you could try a little respect, especially when you lack the ability to understand >

OP while dating: "Okay, I don't believe in phases in relationships so let's get married and reproduce RIGHT FUCKING NOW." >

There's a lot of people in the sub who have never been in a relationship or have some very Christian ideas about being a relationship. It takes time to get to know people. I won't move in with someone unless I've been with them for two years. It takes about two years to really see every side of a person(in my experience). >

Well in certain places you can still get full on married to someone twice your age for the price of a goat and a couple chickens if that's your bag >

So by your logic, two people must immediately know they love each-other, want to spend their life together, instantly live together, share finances, purchase a house, get married, have children, pets, etc. because you cant recognise that these steps you’re referring to are indicative of commonplace milestones within typical romantic relationships?
Its not ridiculous to say “we’re not ready for the next step yet” when referring to a common milestone within that relationship because it literally is a step up from where the couple was at before, its a step towards further entangling the lives of those people. what is ridiculous is that for all your complaining about ‘progressing through levels’ and the video game analogy, thats pretty much what literally happens. Some people know how far they want to go right away, some people need time to work it out, some people rush through all the steps with varying levels of success or lack of. Sometimes you lose, and you don’t get to reach the step you wanted to. Whats so ridiculous about it? >

I agree. It's not a ladder. It's a river. >

A man definitely wrote this. From my perspective, the stages are levels of trust unlocked so you can be sure the potential partner would stick around for a potential child lifelong commitment. And that that’s the person I want to do it with. >

Negative. What you crave is instant gratification and a human that does what you want. Respect and trust has to be earned every day in a real relationship by both people. >

Sounds like you want things to move too fast, that's a recipe for disaster.  People need time to get comfortable at each stage before moving on to the next. >

What, lol >

We had the dating stage, the living together stage, the marriage stage, and the kids stage. I’ve never described it like that but those were stages. >

There are levels beyond "completely comfortable with each other".
Like, at the "completely comfortable" level, I hadn't even thought about marriage or kids or whether I was comfortable not having those things.
Actually, at that stage, I was pretty okay with simply living with my gf and getting a house and another cat with her as the "next level".
I'm married and have a daughter and never did get another cat.
Life changes. Things progress. You don't have go to a different level of you dont want to, and marriage and a kid is not the next level nor the end game. It's the direction we chose. It's different for everyone. >

Life isn’t the sims and you can’t speedrun a relationship. I’m not going to want to introduce my partner to my family/move in/marry them/have kids with them until-guess what-I’m at that stage with them. >

Someone is mad their SO isn’t ready for the next step. >

Way to out yourself as never being in a relationship. Don’t worry OP maybe one day you’ll find someone. >

I think OP has come across differently than what he intends to say. I don’t think he is referring to moving in, meeting parents, getting married etc, because these are all natural stages that anyone would go through. I think what he means to say is, if two people truly like each other then they will naturally fall in love and don’t need to openly establish what stages they are at. Some people will say perhaps that they are ready to “go to the next level” meaning that they want to become more than friends and start going out, where as I think OP is saying that two people who like each other would automatically want to become boyfriend girlfriend. I must say I think he is coming off a little bit angry about this; however, I do agree with him in the sense that the level of intimacy, care and willingness to be with each other early on is a good way of determining whether two people are compatible. >

So you think first date should be a wedding? That is popular in some cultures still. >

Relationships progress and get stronger or in some cases decline. It's ups and downs. Yes very much like a video game if you want to use that analogy. You aren't going to know if you want to live with or marry a person until you spend enough time with them and get to know them. This is the progression of a relationship. Learning about the other person, learning to commit, falling in love. It doesn't happen instantly, it can take time and stages. So yes you can say there are stages but it's more of an analogy. There's the feeling out stage in some relationships where you are just kinda casually getting to know them and seeing if there is a spark or some compatibility. Then there are stages where you might love someone but you aren't mentally or financially in a place where you can commit to marry someone. >

I think it's completely normal to have stages to a relationship. It takes a lot of time to see if you've found the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. You're not going to date someone for two months then immediately move in with them and have kids together. >

I hate to tell you this, but you seem to be the one who sees things this way, but you’re preaching against it to the faceless masses.  I don’t think it’s this black and white progression you imagine it to be.  Which I believe is indicative of a lack of experience in your part.  I think what you see as distinct stages, people in relationships see them as being ready to add more complexity to their relationship.  It’s not a “stage”, it’s an ability and willingness to commit to each other further. >

Am I the only one who gets more annoyed of the excessive use of curse words in this subreddit? Like it doesn't feel like they're opinion is unpopular it just feels like they're butt hurt over some of the smallest issues in life possible >

“The talking stage” 😭 >

Y'all it is quite clear that this is a child. Go easy.
Relationships will make more sense to you later. >

Even what you described involves expedited steps. >

Reminds me of the radical openness intimacy rating scale >

Yeah.  Fuck that shit. >

Mile stones. Not always a mile in this case. >

Never thought I would hear that getting to know someone was silly. Don't know how much dating experience OP has but for women taking it slow can spare you a lot of pain. I say women because we are more often victims of violence/abuse in relationships. Jumping into a relationship where we split bills or kids can tie us to an abuser. Taking some time to grow together and make sure you are compatible is wise. Love is supposed to be easy with the right one. That is true but it's so pleasant you enjoy the growth. That growth never stops. You are a different lover/partner at twenty years together than you were at two years together. Seems honestly suspicious for OP to complain about. >

looks like someone’s upset they can’t get to the first stage with their crush ! >

Honestly, I agree. For me, there is no point in getting into a relationship without a serious commitment. Objectively, you eather plan to stay with someone until death or you plan on breaking up someday. In the second option, why bothering with everything? If you know that everything is going to end up in a couple of years what the point of knowing each other deeply, in learnign to communicate, of putting an effort to understand the other feeling? Just to pass time?
In the other option, if you actually start a relationship with the tought of loving someone for your whole life the idea of marriage or of living together should not scare you. Of course, that said I can see how rushing sex, living together or whatever is not ideal. I believe the breaking point is: if you had to marry your partner tomorrow, would you do it? 
I understand that other people might have a more "nihilistic" approach, all legit but that's my opinion. >

Well, as much as I've felt in love with someone, 1 month was never enough to be ready for moving in together or thinking about marriage. >

Love is not a feeling. Lust and infatuation are feelings. Love is a choice. Once you get over this initial first feelings you have to decide if this coupling has longevity. It’s not ridiculous, it’s maturity. >

What you are saying will work only within the domains of an arranged marriage. Now the prelude to an arranged marriage involves a lot of elderly people studying the boy and girl from opposite sides. These days more than the boy and girl themselves the match making elders also study the respective in-laws. Statistics have shown that behind most arranged failed marriages the in-laws were the cause >

Well I mean you don't exactly go on one date and propose? >

Why do people not crossing each other's boundaries out of love and respect annoy you so much?