>

We need to put an end to this monkey business.
Poor monkeys.  They didn’t need this.  They just wanted to eat bananas and fling poo. >

What is it about monkeys that makes them love to shit in their hands and toss it?? >

Plenty of humans like (or would like) to do the same. Would make politics more entertaining if it changed from a metaphorical turd slinging contest into an actual turd slinging contest. >

I was a freshman in college and prank wars were happening. Someone mentioned poo during dinner, so someone else took a rubber poo and put it on a pizza box, so someone else took actual poo and painted the hallway with it because they were gross, and I lost track of it after there because they painted the hallway outside my door and that meant I had to clean that shit up. America's best and brightest y'all. >

Dude wtf is going on at the Dallas zoo. First the leopards now the monkeys >

What in the hell is going on at the Dallas Zoo. The zoo is going to have to upgrade their security because some person or persons keep targeting it. >

This is crazy. Definitely someone is doing shenanigans but the question is why? What’s the point of fucking with the animals? >

I see two possible options for motivations. Either some sort of extreme animal rights group like PETA who thinks they are helping or some sort of smuggler/poacher trying to get their hands on an exotic animal for the black market pet trade >

3) devious lick >

4) The restaurant up the street running a weekly "Safari Special" >

Someone is fucking with that zoo. >

Environmental activists, animal trafficking, or a really big fan of the 12 Monkeys movie? >

"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my monkeys go now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you." >

fk u beat me to it haha. Hope it gets voted to the top. >

Reddit has taught me how unoriginal of a thinker I am. >

Too much time thinking outside the box, but have we ever taken time to see what's inside the box? >

This is like the 5th article I've read this month about zoo animals missing or enclosures broken into. What's up with that?
Also husband and I decided to go to the zoo today after chatting about this headline. Yay zoo!
Edit: I go to the zoo... >

Several of those incidents, including this one, have all happened at the Dallas Zoo. >

I guess this is how it ends for human civilization.
[Dramatic music]
Apes. Together. Strong. >

Starts worrying in 28 Days Later >

Sounds like a job for Liam Neeson >

Or Dan Akroyd and Tom Hanks. >

I suspect it's the C.L.I.T. Commander and his platonic life partner taking the monkeys with them to Hollywood. >

Can’t wait for all this to come out on a podcast >

I hope the zookeepers have a very special set of skills. >

As a former zoo keeper I would absolutely have tracked those people down and let them have it. No one messes with my critters. And believe me, zookeepers have an interesting set of skills and often access to an incinerator >

ALF or PETA? Either way, really terrible for Dallas Zoo. Hope they find the criminals. >

I suspect inside job based on the level of security there. >

Do you think the monkeys were in on it? >

P.A.G.A.N. making a comeback? >

Check the science labs >

Is it particularly difficult to prevent break-ins and animal assaults in a zoo? I guess if the zoo boundaries don't have sufficient fencing or night security. >

They need to stop monkeying around before I got ape shit. This is bananas.