>

I don’t even know how to respond to this I just know op has not been in long term relationships
"We're not ready for the next step yet" is just a simpler way of saying "We're happy where this relationship is right now but we're not ready for a deeper level of commitment". There aren't actually any "steps" it's just an easier way of explaining their relationship.
I love my boyfriend and we plan to be together for the rest of our lives but I wouldn't have moved in together after our first date because we weren't ready. I could also say we weren't ready to take that step and it means exactly the same thing >

It's not logical. If you love each other and plan to be together for the rest of your lives then you're ready to marry and move in. If you're not ready to marry and move in then you're not sure that you love each other enough and can be together for the rest of your lives. Everything else is bs. >

I'll say like this. I'm happily married but I am not willing to become a parent. So I decided to stay on stage of 2 person family. I'm not ready, and propably never will, to get to next step, whitch is having kids. Nope. Even if you think if I love somebody I should do all what's in the package. I think opposite >

Having children has nothing to do with it. It's not a "step" in a relationship, it's a separate question. Some people never want to have kids. It's a choice. >

It's your opinion. And I think you're the first person I faced who sees it this way >

Okay. If some people don't wan to have kids, do they have an "incomplete" relationship? How do they live without this step?
If someone wants to adopt a child without a relationship, then what's this? If a woman gets pregnant but doesn't have a partner and decides to have a kid anyway, then where this "step" is located? >

Trust me when I say, I've heared thousands times it is an incomplete relationship. It was like "why you even got married if you don't want kids?" or "you're waisting him time if you don't want kids, you should split". Like i said, you're the first person I have interaction with, who thinks kids is not the next obligatory step 🤣 >

You're oversimplifying the meaning of "we're not ready for the next step yet". What people mean by this is that the relationship is quite new to them and there are other things they want to know about each other before getting into, let's say, sex.  
Why are you so angry about the concept of relationships changing and flourishing over time? People "becoming comfortable with each other quickly" is still a process that takes time and effort. "Hitting it off" is not the only thing you need for a relationship. You need trust, knowledge and simply knowing the other person better. The "levels" you're talking about aren't linear and universal. Some people will feel comfortable quicker than others and be fine with having sex and getting into a full relationship on a second date. That's great for them. But others need time to feel ready to have sex, kiss or cuddle and that's perfectly fine aswell.  
I'm just trying to understand why you're so angry about this. You just sound entitled and impatient. >

Isn't sex always the first step? >

Nope >

So you're the "first date in the morning, married in the afternoon, having kids by dinner" type then.
Moving a little fast for my tastes, but you do you. >

More like: OP is 14 years old, has never been in a serious relationship before, and is bitter that their crush isn’t into them. >

Right? Also OP was just recently told by someone that the someone isn't ready for the next step... >

Not allowing people time to adjust (no matter how much time they need) is a huge red flag.
Personally, If we were dating and you said this, I would probably think you were trying to trap me. I would start assuming you're abusive, and becoming impatient with me. Not really something I'd be into, so obviously would end our "relationship" earlier than if you had just respected my boundaries and feelings. >

Have you ever been in a relationship OP?
If you start pulling long-term behaviour in the beginning stages of dating, most people are going to end it or straight up ghost you. It's unhealthy and weird to rush into things.
Like you don't just move in together within a week. Some people want time when it comes to even kissing let alone having sex. If someone isn't at a 'stage' it's a personal choice/boundary. >

Buttplay and grave plots kinda come later >

Have you ever been in a relationship? >

Doesn't sound like it. >

This post gives off "Recently rejected high-school" vibes. >

I too was once 12 >

Yeah fr >

This is just a bad take. >

Are you in high school? This reaks of “teenager with no relationship experience” >

Upvote for the unpopular opinion.
You sound like you have very little relationship experience.  This post reads like it was written by a school girl with an infatuation. >

I don't even feel like this is an opinion, it's a misconception lol. >

Some people need time to get comfortable to the level of other couples. You can hit it off and still want to ease your way into a relationship. >

How would you describe the difference between dating and being married to someone then?
You can't pretend a 2 week old relationship has the same "level" of commitment as a 2 year or even 20 year relationship. Differentiation is a thing. >

someone told you they were not ready yet, eh? >

So... if two 19 year olds are deeply in love, they should move in together, get married and directly start to have children with each other? 
Timing is everything. And growing up is realsing that finding someone you love and who loves you back is in fact not everything. Sometimes not even that is enough. >

So you think if two people like each other they should marry right after the first date? >

So you’re upset the person you like doesn’t want to sleep with you right off the bat? Seems to be the read I’m getting from your replies.
You have a lot of growing to do, sadly doesn’t seem like you’re willing. >

Sounds like this guys mad cause a girl doesn’t wanna f him straight away >

So you should move in with someone immediately as soon as you start dating? >

I feel like there’s always a stage in a romantic relationship before it’s official, you move in together, you marry, have babies. How long these stages are is for everybody different but maybe OP doesn’t like to call these things stages. >

I feel like this has to come from someone who’s 14 or has the emotional intelligence of a 14 year old. The whole point of dating is to see if this person is really someone you’d like to spend a lot of time with or even the rest of your life. You can’t possibly know that in the first day or perhaps week or month etc of dating. You have to build up to that awareness. You have to get to know them essentially. So saying you’re not ready for the next stage is like saying yeah we are comfortable in our current phase of our relationship either because we don’t know each other well enough to know if it’s a forever thing or we aren’t old enough to even have the self awareness to know what we want or we are just enjoying the current flow. >

Idk everyone's different. We definitely go through stages, at just about everything. For example, I can clearly separate my life into differe stages categorized by certain realities of that time. Like, when I was in highschool vs college vs fresh grad vs established career, etc. >

Rushing into commitments and lovebombing each other isn't healthy. If it's one-sided, you are probably the victim of a narcissist or fraud. >

Sounds like op is the type of person who wants to rush their partner into sex, marriage, or children without any regard to their partner’s comfort level. Red flag. >

Sounds like op got the knockback… what was it op?
you try to get some?
Ask for a key to their house??
God help you if you proposed and got a no??? You don’t recover from that one. 
Talk to me who hurt you? 
Or >

I get the distinct feeling you've never been in a relationship >

Same, at least not a serious one. >

Rushing into anything is never good. You need time to really get to know someone. If you jump the gun with people, it's only a matter of time till you realize the reality of who they are isn't the fantasized version you created from your feelings. Most relationships statistically end when couples move in together why do you think that is? The hard realization comes that liking some one is simply not enough. >

This sounds like someone who hasn’t had a long term relationship. You’re relationship goes through stages even if it starts off amazingly it goes through stages where it gets better and things change. You do have to wait till you feel like it feels right before moving to the next step. If you go from first date to engagement that could go badly. >

And sometimes it doesn’t get better as it goes on. Everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning. But eventually you get more comfortable and the mask slips until it’s completely off and you’re truly yourself. And sometimes your true self isn’t tolerable for other people. You want to know that before you make big commitments. >

This is very true. I’m comparing it to my current relationship which is amazing but have had relationships where that happens >

Exactly, me too. As time went on in my last relationship I realized it wasn’t good. But in my current one, as time goes on it feels more right and I want to take the next step. >

The stages you're referring to are actually crucial to developing a healthy relationship.  For example, would you move in with someone without knowing if they maintain their home similar to you or better/worse?   Are you just going to pump kids into someone without knowing how they operate under stress or are you just going to make all of these life-altering decisions based on the first 5 minutes of knowing them? Don't even get me started on the financial aspect of relationships because I can spit out books on it. >

You never got over the honeymoon phase, right? >

Tell me you've never been in a relationship without saying you've never been in a relationship. >

As it turns out, when you make decisions/ agreements/ commitments with other people, you have to have words for them so you're both on the same page as to what the decisions/ agreements/ commitments are, and you can communicate expectations.
Life is not a Disney movie. >

You had me in the first half, but then i thought about it and this applies to people who have been in long term relationships, maybe 3+ years but if you’re relatively newer to the relationship you have to build your trust up. Can’t just be trusting everyone, especially nowadays. Cheating is like eating candy to some people >

I was going to respond to this seriously until I looked at your post history.
Yikes. >

I texted someone once, we hit it off and got married later that day. >

This is a great exception. Anyways god of the Rizz to you >

Met a guy on the subway on the way to the courthouse and he was the best man. >

This usually happens in an abundance of caution.  Especially at the beginning, both will be trying to be what the other is looking for.  Over time (weeks to years), the true person will reveal themselves.  It woul dbe silly to rush into a lifetime commitment without both partners being completely honest with each other and that takes time. >

Says the persons who clearly hasn’t been in a lot of long relationships 
People aren’t making some game of levels, they are observing retroactively and in the moment how they feel and act with their partner, nobody has control over how quickly they get comfortable or not
Again, I think there should be an age minimum for this sub >

The 5 stages of a relationship, according to Dr . Knapp. 
Initiation 
Experimentation 
Intensification 
Integration 
Bonding >

The bullshit you just spewed is all just a MAJOR red flag 🚩 >

The typical "I would actually agree with the concept but am too ignorant and emotional to come to that conclusion by myself". But, as usual, their issue goes beyond ignorance but personal offense with the language being used, making any progress discussing it useless. So we're left with a petty tantrum in which one person can't accept a perfectly reasonable, unoffensive use of language that's used by over a billion other people... >

What >

tl;dr: they are refusing to understand a simple concept used by billions that they do agree with