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did you grow up around people who would have been labeled "mentally retarded", such as those with Downs syndrome? 

In my immediate family? No.
But in my immediate social circle, like in my classes at school? Yes. There was almost always somebody with developmental disabilities in every one of my grades throughout the years. I don't remember all of the names, but I'll always remember Miguel, who sat next to me in 6th grade. Super tall guy. Wasn't great at discussion, but he loved Pokémon like me. 
Further, I have a friend who went on to become a special education teacher with many developmental disabilities in her class - and I'll pause there to bring her into the discussion in my next paragraph down.

I feel that in my experience the main push hasn't been from any academic setting, but from people who knew other people who had been called this word being intolerant of its use, privately and publicly. 

I don't think that's a universal trend - in fact, I'd point you to the (in)famous (now defunct, but commonly mirrored) "tardblog," where a special education teacher wrote about her class experiences. If you put aside what is now a highly offensive title for a moment, and actually read the blog, you'll see that she had a deep love for the kids in her care, but she simply didn't take issue with the word. 
And now to bring my friend back into this - the one who went on to become a special education teacher - she loved that blog, and is in fact the one who introduced me to it. And loves her special education kids, too. But she uses the word plainly when in private with friends, because it's simply not the horrible slur to her that it is to some people.
I think the social phenomenon I mentioned before has impacted the people who work and live with the developmentally disabled just as much as it's impacted the rest of society. They're forced to pretend in public as well, but (in my personal experience, anyway) they go home and use the word in private also.

I'm sure there is a large proportion of the public that would love to bring it back,

I don't think that's right.
I don't think there are very many people who "would love to bring it back" in the sense that they long to hear it said again. That's not it.
I suspect most people who use the word in private don't really think about it in terms of "bringing it back" because, to them, it never really left. They've still been using it all this time, just not in public.
Which goes back to what I said about this one being different from all the rest of the slurs.
The vast majority of people (angry racist grandpa aside) aren't using racial slurs, even in private. The same goes for things like the "f-word" for gay people - it's simply not used, even in private.
But "retard?" It's used frequently in private. By people across all walks of life, from blue collar to white collar to actual special education teachers.
It's the one slur that's not actually treated as a slur in private, but simply hidden to avoid being ostracized by a small minority who has social control of that discussion.
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Hi, historical linguist here. Yes, words and their meanings do change. I do understand your point that mute, mad, lame have all been stripped on their offensive meaning and that you believe that retarded has as well. And to be fair, it might have for you. But language change is not a solitary process. Language is a social tool used by, shared by, and shaped by all of its speakers. 
The word retarded grew to incredible levels of offensive and taboo in the early 2000s. The folks for whom it became taboo are in their 30s-40s and their younger siblings are in their 20s. This  became a formative taboo for them when they were children. They will likely hold onto that for a good, long time. 
The thing with mute, dumb, mad, and lame is that they are all much older, and their phases of being taboos was much further in the past. There's a natural cycle for these things:
word with specific meaning > negative connotation of meaning > used as a slur/in an incredible hateful way > word becomes taboo > enough time has passed that the term loses it's taboo and either returns to the specific meaning or because of slur and taboo stages, has changed in meaning enough that it has adopted a new form, such as being a general marker of negativity (e.g. dumb and lame). 
I think you're right that it is moving towards being like those words -- but it's a strongly engrained taboo. That takes a serious amount of time to change. It might not be until millennials and zoomers are quite old, or are gone, that this term stops being a taboo. >


The word retarded grew to incredible levels of offensive and taboo in the early 2000s. The folks for whom it became taboo are in their 30s-40s and their younger siblings are in their 20s. This became a formative taboo for them when they were children. They will likely hold onto that for a good, long time. 

I hesitate to disagree with a historical linguist about historical linguistic trends, but I don't know that this particular word is as simple as other slurs in terms of offensive staying power. 
I'm the prime demographic for the age bracket you just mentioned, and I'll point out that I'm not some backwoods yokel, MAGA person, or other assorted anti-political-correctness reactive archetype. I grew up in a large metro area, traveled away to go to college, traveled again for law school, and have since moved states a few more times for work. I've been a lot of places, met a lot of people, and I'm fairly well educated with a broad social group that leans solidly left. 
Other slurs, for example racial slurs, have incredible levels of taboo such that even saying them in private with your friends will get you ostracized. This is because the offensiveness of those words has genuinely permiated throughout most of society. 
"Retard," on the other hand, doesn't really work the same way. Not in my experience.
You say that aversion to the word became a formative taboo for my age bracket, but to be perfectly honest I don't know anybody - not a single person - who is actually offended by it in private. Unlike other slurs, you're free to use it openly when in private with your friends. You just can't say it in public for fear of outside groups hearing you.
In my experience, the aversion to the word surged like a lightning bolt out of progressive academic circles - and there was a strange social phenomenon where the rest of society simply capitulated in public, but didn't actually convert in private. They said the prayers and sang along in church, and then went home and promptly ignored scripture.
I don't believe that (the vast majority of) my generation actually has a formative taboo to the word. I think that a minority of people have that taboo, and for whatever historical sociological reason had outsized influence that caused the word to become unacceptable in public only.
I genuinely believe that if progressive academic circles lose their social footing as a dominant ostracizing force, the word would come back into public vogue quite quickly.
I wouldn't say the same about almost any other slur. >

I appreciate you sharing your perspective on this, but I'm curious, did you grow up around people who would have been labeled "mentally retarded", such as those with Downs syndrome? I feel that in my experience the main push hasn't been from any academic setting, but from people who knew other people who had been called this word being intolerant of its use, privately and publicly. I'm sure there is a large proportion of the public that would love to bring it back, just like there is likely a lot of people who would like to bring back "gay" as meaning "uncool" or "stupid", but I don't think I've ever seen evidence that either of these were pushed from progressive bastions, I've only ever seen it come from my peers calling each other out for it.