>

You can, and sometimes it's the best option. But we shouldn't go into marriage essentially half-assed because "you can divorce". You should go into it expecting to be committed for life. A team attitude makes a huge difference in whether the trials of life drive you apart or bring you together.
It's not that fighting (whether a screaming match or throwing punches) is unavoidable, it's that conflict is unavoidable. At some point you will have a difference of opinion with someone you're in a relationship with, and it will require compromise and patience from both sides of the relationship.
But that conflict doesn't have to turn into toxicity or violence as you're talking about, as long as you can talk about it together.
The conflict-resolution tool you have available is open and honest communication, and while a little white lie is fine now and then it won't help you solve relationship conflicts.
If one or both sides are unable or unwilling to have that kind of conversation, that's when the problems start. >

My wife and I don't fight or argue. >

Same here.
I was married once before. I won’t go into all the details, but it was not a healthy relationship. High conflict, high drama. Thing is, my temperament is conflict-avoidant, so I spent all of my time working to solve problems, so she’d finally be happy. Alas, these “problems” were purposefully crafted, to keep the supply of attention focused solely on her at all times. I was naive, so it took me awhile to figure it all out. It did not end well. She turned extremely aggressive (including physically), once I finally affirmed some boundaries.
I am married now, a second time. My wife and I get along beautifully. We share the same basic values. We generally agree on most things (and where we disagree, it’s small stuff, not worth a fight or anything). We never fight, we never argue, and there is never deceit or bullshit. Ever. It’s not that we “work” to never argue, it just never happens. Neither one of us is controlling, and we can both do whatever the fuck we want. What we want, is to simply be kind, and not have stupid drama in our lives. It’s wonderful.
I don’t believe relationships need to be “work.” You just need to be in a relationship with the right person. Then it’s literally no work at all.
If you find you have to “work” on your relationship, then, it’s not a good relationship. Probably because one or both parties are narcissists. >


If you find you have to “work” on your relationship, then, it’s not a good relationship.

This is fucking hilarious. I bet if I spoke with your first wife I'd hear a much different story than what you gave. If you truly believe what you said then you can expect a similar ending to your second marriage. >

That’s such a weird view of romantic relationships to have. Human interactions in general are pretty complex and it’s virtually impossible to have two humans be so in sync that they never disagree on anything. A relationship is going to have disagreements and conflicts regardless of how well suited the people are for each other.
A relationship that needs no work is one where one of the two people involved is just not voicing their desires and concerns and is secretly unhappy. That’s no more healthy than one where you constantly need to work on keeping the relationship together.
Too much work is not good. No work is just a lie. >

This comment is so, so true. The people saying they never disagree are either not communicating or one partner has serious conflict avoidance issues and just goes along with whatever the other person wants. >

If they agree on the important issues, what else is there to fight about though? Some people are really not particular about a lot of small stuff. As long as they are in sync with the  important things and both are good roommates ie they're easy to live with. >

I'm not going to recap everything I just said and I've said elsewhere.
There's plenty of other issues that will come up. Oh, you agree on having kids? Cool, now have one and tell me you'll never disagree on anything to do with them ever. It's simply impossible. >

You will disagree about things for sure, but I was talking about fights in this comment. Why do disagreements have to turn into fights? Fighting is not the only way to resolve a disagreement >


the people that are saying they never disagree

This is the comment you're responding to. >

I think occassional fights or disagreements are understandable. My wife and I generally don't argue for months on end, but there will be one little thing here or there that fires us up, but then it's over in like 5 minutes and we move on.  But multiple arguments a week, especially big ones? Seems insufferable.
My wife's sister fights so much with everyone that it's normal to her. She implied, a year or two after my wife and I started dating, that it was a HUGE red flag that we never fought over anything or had screaming matches, and that we were headed for a major disaster. We've been together for 12 years and no disaster yet.
Some people are just so belligerent and disagreeable that fighting has become their way of life. It's their answer to everything and it is omnipresent, so they convince themselves that, clearly, it must be necessary, and perhaps even a good thing.
Human beings are fucking broken, hardcore. >

Wow she sounds like a crappy person. It’s probably because she’s not happy in her relationship maybe she’s always been in one’s like it so she thinks that’s what it should be and thinks she’s happy but how disgusting of her to say it’s a red flag you don’t fight honestly sounds like she’a jealous and needs to bring you guys down to make herself feel better. Man I hate peoples like that they are obviously unhappy and hate people around them for their happiness.
Idk how you feel about her, sorry if I went to hard but damn dude I’m sorry you have to deal with that from someone in your extended family. >

Lmao, that's it's okay, friend; my own parents have been fighting daily for the past 20+ years, pretty much. Hell, my mom even fights with my dad when he isn't around; she'll just vent to me and tell me how her side of the argument would go, lol.
My sister-in-law is just a straight-up narc; bringing other people down so she can elevate herself is her whole MO. Her and her husband get into some kind of blow-out argument at pretty much every holiday gathering. She's a bitch, plain and simple.
I think maybe that's the reason my wife are so easygoing; we both grew up around people who wanted to fight for no reason, so we've learned to pick our battles, and when there is some kind of disagreement, we just discuss it and move on instead of turning it into a screaming match. >

Married for 14 years.  We don't fight often.  Very rarely in fact.  
Here is the Key(s):  
#1: Communication.  Be real.  When your upset you have to be able to communicate that clearly.  And talk about the issue, talk about your feelings, do not throw insults to make yourself feel better.  If you just too upset, then take a break and go for a walk, then try again.
#2: Never demand a solution to a problem that you wouldn't accept if it was pushed on you.  The golden rule really is critical here.
#3: Learn to pick your battles.  There will always be things that come up and annoy you.  Learn to pick which ones need to be dealt with and which ones should to be ignored.
#4: This is a 2-player game.  If both of you can't learn to live with these rules/suggestions, then perhaps you should think about moving on to someone who will. >

#4 only applies before you marry. Make sure the commitment of marriage is something you're sure of before you tie the knot. >

You can divorce