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Burninating the lawn Gnomes🎵
Prisoner 1: "Mmm... what're you in for?"
Prisoner 2: "Plastic yard dragons and a rainbow porch railing!"
Prisoner 1 turns to the cell door and forcefully shakes at the bars.
Prisoner 1: "Get me outta here!" >

"What'd you get, keeid?"
And I said "I didn't get nothin', I got fined fifty dollars and had to pick up the garbage."
"What are ya in for, keeid?"
And I said "Litterin'," and they all moved away from me on the bench and gave me the hairy eyeball, and I said "And causin' a nuisance," and they allll moved back. >

You can have anything you want... >

The meanest father-raper of them all >

Whoever claimed that children are scared of a giant dragon statue has clearly never spent any time with kids.  The people complaining are probably doing so because they're tired of their kids asking to drive by the house and asking to get their own lawn dragon. >

It's just people searching for a sympathetic argument for their own objections.
It's like people who hate fireworks who's go to argument is about vets since that gets more sympathy than some random Karen. >

Yeah but dogs get even more sympathy online, which is probably why that's most of the argument against fireworks on Facebook >

The wildlife makes out pretty bad too. Fireworks aren't really good but they are pretty. >

New Years fucked over the air quality so bad. People were setting off masses of ground level fireworks for a solid 5 mile radius, and not just at midnight. It was from like 6pm - 2am.
It literally seeded clouds. Fog hung around until the next morning, and it's never foggy here. It was so bad at midnight the visibility dropped enough to be concerning on major roads and it just smelled like sulfur everywhere. Bats were flying into shit, gf had an asthma attack. Fireworks are cool and all, but not really that cool. 
Give us a crescendo then call it done. Lighting the 24th Ladyfingers of the night is just compulsion. >

Yard dragons are a bitch to get rid of. They keep burning the grass and you've got to hire a ragtag band of misfit reluctant heroes to go slay them, then they divvy up the horde and you're left with half a dragon corpse and a bunch of rebuilding to do. >

Trogdor the Burninator strikes again >

Burninating the lawn