>

Op sounds like a horrible friend
What's absurd is spending thousands on that shit. How many of these did you go to and how much did they each cost? >

Depends on the culture really. In my hometown (northern China), depends on the relationship it ranges from few hundreds RMB to upper thousands. Like if my older cousin (male) on my dad side got married, my dad probably would give somewhere around 10-20k as a gift. When his coworker’s daughter got married I think he gave 5k. Though there are no wedding registry and the food is usually pretty good. Guests can take the leftover home if they want to. Also the reception is usually huge since everyone is invited based on both the parents’ and the couples’ relationships (like my dad got invited to his coworker’s daughter’s wedding whom he had only saw a couple of times. I happened to be home so I got to tag along. I have never seen the bride before the wedding lol). >

Rather than pay everyone back i think it should be considered socially acceptable not to turn up to the next wedding or financially support it in any way. >

How about don't go to the first one >

Already doing that for my cousin lmfao >

The last thing any couple needs is to be discouraged from leaving a relationship that isn’t good for them over needing to pay back their wedding guests for their wedding gifts. >

Divorces can be expensive so they most likely won’t be able to pay everyone back >

True, I've got a friend who's going through it and he's on water and bread now. Worst is when they actually don't want to sign the papers, I just thought it was a "movie-thing" but it actually happens! >

you're not investing into their marriage tho so what difference does it make if they're together 10 months or 10 years? not like you get anything out of it either way. >

If the money is such an issue for you, maybe you shouldn't be spending that much >

Yeah, as you said, it does sound absurd.
If I've spend so much money on someone that must mean I care for them. I think dealing with all the divorce stuff and heartbreak is enough on someone's plate without them worrying about paying people back.
If you'll miss the money just don't spend it on them in the first place, I guess.