>

But this is it exactly, why wouldn't that be advertised? If one could 3D print something that looked and felt exactly like a vinyl toy, for example, wouldn't that be something cool you could highlight when selling? Maybe you're right and I'm just missing it
I'll hit you up now because they already exist >

Can you point me to a product printed like this? And do you know the XYZ micron lengths? Genuinely curious. >

Well
You can get really nice ones
.....If you spend thousands upon thousands of dollars >

If all depends on the machine and material used. Most affordable ones do what you don't like, but the more expensive ones are smooth >

A 3d print you have probably experienced was mainly made for educational use or prototyping. With a 3d printer, a student in an engineering design class can design a part and actually see it which is valuable even if the print doesn’t look amazing. This is not the full capability of the technology though. 
3D printers also come in resin forms which aren’t layered and therefore have no lines. They have many affordable resin printers, but schools sometimes don’t like the messy process. In order to make a high resolution toy or something, 3d printers can be used as a tool to make molds. More expensive 3d printers are also going to be higher resolution, and some can print special materials or metal. >

I don't have a very high opinion of 3d printing, but...
You can get nice smooth prints, it' s takes pretty expensive machines, or time consuming refining processes. 
The stuff that looks like low resolution garbage is low resolution garbage. But if that's what you're expecting 3d prints to look like, then you probably don't know when something is 3d printed when it doesn't look like that.