>

Australian Customs: Do you have a criminal record?
Tourist: No, are they still required?
“Sorry Mum and Dad. I’d love for you to meet my new boyfriend but he’s been deemed too mentally unstable to be on the continent.” >

"He's also just a tiny bit of a Hitler loving Nazi" >

"I really wish he could be here, I came to tell you I think we're ready to take the next goose step together"