Mandarin Equivalent: 屙尿都屙不伸? As the title says, what's the Mandarin equivalent of the phrase 屙尿都屙不伸?

The phrase describes someone who can't do anything, and is pretty much useless. 

An English equivalent might be something like couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery - and such phrases like that.
吃啥啥不剩; 干啥啥不行.

Whatever (he) eats, (he) leaves over nothing; whatever (he) builds, (he) bungles everything. Used mostly on bureaucrats. When a hierarchical organization grows tall enough, it selects almost exclusively characters like this.