What is the difference between "called" and "chosen"? Matthew 22:14: 


  For many are called, but few are chosen. [ESV]


What is the difference between “called” and “chosen” here?  Though I believe in predestination, I struggle to see how this verse deals here with irresistible grace.
The general consensus from the commentaries I've seen on this, as well as the teachings of my Church, taking all of Matthew 22 in context is that the invitation for salvation is open to all, yet few actually choose to come to salvation. 

How this fits in with irresistible grace, or pre-destination is not clear to me. Our denomination does not believe in irresistible grace. (We hold some Calvinist views, but not all).  It's possible that the reason I'm only finding commentaries that support the idea of resistible grace is because my sources are biased, but the commentaries I've found seem to be united on this verse, with the possible exception of the Barnes' Notes on the Bible. (Second commentary quoted below).


  Clarke's Commentary on the Bible (Emphasis mine)
  
  Many are called, etc. - This verse is wanting in one of Colbert's
  MSS., marked 33 in Griesbach. See the note on Matthew 20:16. Many are
  called by the preaching of the Gospel into the outward communion of
  the Church of Christ; but few, comparatively, are chosen to dwell with
  God in glory, because they do not come to the master of the feast for
  a marriage garment - for that holiness without which none can see the
  Lord. This is an allusion to the Roman custom of raising their
  militia; all were mustered, but only those were chosen to serve, who
  were found proper. See the note on Matthew 20:16. Reader! examine thy
  soul, and make sure work for eternity!





  Barnes' Notes on the Bible
  
  Many are called, but few are chosen - Our Saviour often uses this
  expression. It was probably proverbial. The Jews had been called, but
  few of them had been chosen to life. The great mass of the nation was
  wicked, and they showed by their lives that they were not chosen to
  salvation. The Gentiles also were invited to be saved, Isaiah 45:22.
  Nation after nation has been called; but few, few have yet showed that
  they were real Christians, the elect of God. It is also true that many
  who are in the church may prove to be without the wedding garment, and
  show at last that they were not the chosen of God. This remark in the
  14th verse is the inference from the "whole parable," and not of the
  part about the man without the wedding garment. It does not mean,
  therefore, that the great mass in the church are simply called and not
  chosen, or are hypocrites; but the great mass in "the human family,"
  in the time of Christ, who had been "called," had rejected the mercy
  of God.





  Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary
  
  22:1-14 The provision made for perishing souls in the gospel, is
  represented by a royal feast made by a king, with eastern liberality,
  on the marriage of his son. Our merciful God has not only provided
  food, but a royal feast, for the perishing souls of his rebellious
  creatures. There is enough and to spare, of every thing that can add
  to our present comfort and everlasting happiness, in the salvation of
  his Son Jesus Christ. The guests first invited were the Jews. When the
  prophets of the Old Testament prevailed not, nor John the Baptist, nor
  Christ himself, who told them the kingdom of God was at hand, the
  apostles and ministers of the gospel were sent, after Christ's
  resurrection, to tell them it was come, and to persuade them to accept
  the offer. The reason why sinners come not to Christ and salvation by
  him, is, not because they cannot, but because they will not. 
  
  [snip]





  The FourFold Gospel
  
  For many are called, but few chosen. Many guests are invited, but few
  are accepted; because some neglect and despise the invitation,
  andothers cast dishonor upon the one who invites, by the self-willed
  andirreverent way in which they accept his invitation. In this parable
  thefirst parties invited represent the Jews; the city of murderers
  isJerusalem; the persons called from the highways are the Gentiles;
  theentrance of the king is the coming of the Lord to final judgment;
  andthe man without the wedding-garment is anyone who will be found in
  thechurch without a suitable character. The character of Christ is
  ourwedding-garment, and all the regenerated must wear it ( John 3:5
  Ephesians 4:24 ; Galatians 3:27 ; Colossians 3:10 ; Revelation 19:8
  Revelation 19:9 ).