How do I have self confidence, self esteem and work hard if I am a true Christian? In church we learn to not lean on ourselves. We learn we can do nothing with our own power. That we must completely let go of control and let God. That everything that happens is from God and that we must be humble and let people do whatever they wish to us because it is God's will and doing. 

I almost get the impression that all my OWN thoughts and actions are wrong. 

That I must be a true servant to other peoples needs and that I can never say no to them, even if they are manipulative or crazy.

In addition, I leave service feeling bad to be ambitious and work hard.

How do I have self confidence, self esteem, think for myself, feel free, proud of my achievements and feel good about working hard, if I follow what is preached ?

What part of Christianity am I missing?
God expects us to use our own minds:


  Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.


Psalm 32:9

And he expects us to achieve and be proud of our accomplishments, so that we don't burden others:


  Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. 


Galatians 6:4-5

Jesus Himself told us to use the gifts we've been given:


  In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.


Matthew 5:16

Don't let manipulative people control you, but rather:


  Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.


Proverbs 4:23

So as I'm answering this I'm left with one important question for you: "Are you getting Biblical teaching at your church?