What did St. John Chrysostom mean by saying there is no difference between what is demanded from the monastics and the laity? "You greatly delude yourself and err, if you think that one thing is
  demanded from the layman and another from the monk; since the
  difference between them is in that whether one is married or not,
  while in everything else they have the same responsibilities...
  Because all must rise to the same height; and what has turned the
  world upside down is that we think only the monk must live rigorously,
  while the rest are allowed to live a life of indolence"
  + St. John Chrysostom


What is St. John Chrysostom trying to say here about the lifestyle of the laity?  It's apparent that not everyone is called to the life of St. Anthony the Great to live in a cave in the desert (even among monastics).  So what is the commonality, here?  How does one find their path in adopting the correct lifestyle for themselves that leads to salvation?

Most people, even Orthodox I know, would say that wearing sackcloth under your clothes and keeping a rigorous fast is extreme and meant for the monastics, but then I often read in the lives of the Saints of laity that were commended (though not mentioned by name) for doing just that. 

So, what is it that is expected in lifestyle that St. John Chrysostom is saying is the same for laity and monastics?  I ask because my intuition tells me, this must be the thing that helps you discern, with the help of a spiritual father, the measure of asceticism that is appropriate for each person, individually.
My understanding of this statement (and it has simply developed organically through practice in the Church - I cannot quote a definitive answer from anyone) ... is that laymen, just as monastics, are responsible for entering spiritual battles with the passions, developing virtues, resisting temptations, praying regularly, doing good to others, and all the rest that goes into forming us into the likeness of Christ (by the grace of God). 

I don't think it is intended to say that a layman should keep the exact same prayer rule or fasting rule, attend as many services, etc. as a monk any more than it is saying that a monk should have children and sacrifice himself for the spiritual development and good of his family. It is not in the particular details that we are exactly the same, but in the overall goal and, where applicable, to the general responsibilities, though perhaps not the exact method or quantity of practice. 

There can be an idea that "only monks struggle with the flesh/demons" and the rest of us are somehow "off the hook" for these efforts, and I believe that is what we must realize is really the same for both of us. Whatever life a person finds themselves in, they are to seek God and be formed in His image through that life. 

I hope that makes sense. :) Lord forgive me if I've made any error there.