Can these three "2nd greatest commandments" be put into one sentence? I was playing my homemade Catholic Jeopardy with the Faith Formation class last night and I asked.  "What is the 2nd greatest commandment".  The kids were all like,  "umm obey your parents", "Don't swear", etc... and I just said.  "Love your neighbor".  Well, just then the Director of Religious Ed. walks in and she just wanted to make sure I added the ..."as yourself" part.  I didn't think that was terribly important, she said it was important because teenagers have a hard time seeing themselves as someone loveable.  

So, I've got a notion that the following three precious words of Jesus are pretty much the same thing:


  Do to others whatever you would have them do to you. 


(Matt 7:12 NABRE)


  love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another


(John 13:34 NABRE)


  You shall love your neighbor as yourself.


(Mark 12:31 NABRE)

What I want to know is:


Is is the commandment itself just to love or is the description of how to love wrapped up in the commandment. 
Do we love each other as Jesus loves us and love our neighbor as we love ourselves. 
Does 'Do Unto' mean 'Love in this way'
If not how does 'Do unto others' fit into the way we're supposed to treat each other? 
How could I phrase what I meant to say so it encapsulates all three aspects of how we're supposed to love and treat each other and ourselves?

I think Pope John Paul II (before he was Pope) wrote in Love and Responsibility something about love your neighbor being more than just 'do unto others', but I'm not sure how.  That might be a good starting point though.


Since this question is about love, and love is eternal, I'd gladly accept any answer that makes sense from any perspective.
I will try to answer this, but how to love is shown in various parts of the NT, but I think the best description of what is not love is 


  1 Cor 13


You will find that love is not a feeling, but an action. For example, Jesus ordered that we love one another.


  JOHN 13:34 NKJ  34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one
  another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.


If it was a feeling you can't command people to feel a certain way, but you can command that they act a certain way.

So, when we are ordered to love our neighbor, and we know from the story of the Good Samaritan that everyone is our neighbor, and Jesus talked about how we should love our enemies:


  Matt 5:44  But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who
  persecute you


So, love is more encompassing that just feeling or pretending to love by being nice to others.

So, perhaps something along the lines of:

Love everyone, especially those that hate you, where you are willing to die for them, just as Jesus was willing to die for us, but start with loving yourself, as Jesus loved us enough to die for each of us.

What I am trying to show is that Jesus valued us enough to die, so we should reciprocate by loving ourself, as, if we can't love ourselves, then how can we truly love anyone else.  The Holy Spirit isn't going to hang out in a place that is filled with hate, and if you hate yourself, then that is not a hospitable home for the Holy Spirit.