text:
Just Another Perl Hacker
Classic code golf challenge. Write the most obscure Perl program to print "Just another Perl hacker". Here's the Wikipedia article on it. Bonus points if it fits in 3 lines / 70 characters each.

Obfuscated instead of obscure?

Code golf has to be about shortest code, not "most obscure". Shortest is objective. "Most obscure" is subjective.

@Chris: Wasn't this also about general programming puzzles? Ok, arguable whether obfuscation falls under that but as far as I understood it this wasn't a pure code golf site.

@Joey: It's not, but, the Stack Exchange platform is much more effective for objective questions, not ones "that the OP likes best".

@H=@h=(176,138,140,17,87,54,126,182,217,223,136,130,136,117,73,52,154,
134,161,36,33,92,60,51);for(;$j<24;$j++){$x=0;for($k=0;$k<24;$k++){$x
+=@h[$k]<<($j*$k%24);$x%=241;}@H[$j]=$x;}print pack('c*',@H)
I'm not sure whether a newline at the end is required: if so, the addition of ."\n" still doesn't take me up to the limit of 3 lines * 70 chars/line.
If it weren't for encoding issues the initialisation could be much smaller and extracted with unpack, so I expect someone can improve on this. I'm thinking about making a more efficient version - this is O(n^2), and O(n lg n) decoding is possible.

+1 for <3 at the end of character value of your array!

eval eval '"'.

                                      ('['^"\+").(
           ('[')^                   ')').('`'|')').
        ('`'|'.').                ('['^'/').('{'^'['
 ).'\\'.'"'  .('`'^              '*').('['^'.').('['^
'(').('['^'/').('{'^            '[').('`'|'!').(('`')|
'.').('`'|'/').("\["^          '/').('`'|'(').('`'|'%'
  ).('['^')').(('{')^        '[').('{'^'+').('`'|'%').(
       '['^')').('`'|      ',').('{'^'[').('`'|'(').('`'
      |'!').('`'|'#'     ).('`'|'+').('`'|'%').('['^')').
     '\\'.'"'.("\!"^   '+').'"';$:='.'^'~';$~='@'|"\(";$^=
    ')'^'[';$/='`'|   '.';$,='('^'}';$\='`'|'!';$:=')'^"\}";
    $~='*'|"\`";$^=  '+'^'_';$/='&'|'@';$,='['&'~';$\=','^'|'
    ;$:='.'^'~';$~  ='@'|'(';$^=')'^'[';$/='`'|'.';$,='('^'}'
    ;$\='`'|'!';$:  =')'^'}';$~='*'|'`';$^='+'^'_';$/='&'|'@';
    $,='['&'~';$\=','^'|';$:='.'^'~';$~='@'|'(';$^=')'^'[';$/=
    '`'|'.';$,='('^'}';$\='`'|'!';$:=')'^'}';$~='*'|'`';$^='+'^
     '_';$/='&'|'@';$,='['&'~';$\=','^'|';$:='.'^'~';$~='@'|'('
     ;$^=')'^'[';$/='`'|'.';$,='('^'}';$\='`'|'!';$:=')'^'}';$~=
      '*'|'`';$^='+'^'_';$/='&'|'@';$,='['&'~';$\=','^'|';$:='.'^
       '~';$~='@'|'(';$^=')'^'[';$/='`'|'.';$,='('^'}';$\='`'|'!'
        ;$:=')'^'}';$~='*'|'`';$^='+'^'_';$/='&'|'@';$,="\["& '~'
         ;$\=','^'|';$:='.'^'~';$~='@'|'(';$^=')'^'[';$/='`'  |((
          '.'));$,='('^'}';$\='`'|'!';$:=')'^'}';$~ ='*'|'`'  ;$^
            ='+'^'_';$/='&'|'@';$,='['&'~';$\=','^  '|';$:=   '.'
             ^'~'; $~='@'|'(';$^=')'^'[';$/="\`"|   '.';$,=   '('
                   ^'}';$\='`'|'!';$:=')'^'}';$~    =('*')|   '`'
                   ;$^='+'^    '_';$/='&' |"\@";     $,='['   &+
                   '~';$\=     ','^'|';   $:='.'     ^"\~";  $~
                   =('@')|     "\(";$^=   "\)"^       "\[";  (
                   ($/))=      '`'|'.';   ($,)         ='('
                   ^"\}";     $\=('`')|   '!';         ($:)
                    =')'^     "\}";$~=    '*'|         '`';
                    ($^)=     '+'^'_'     ;$/=         '&'|
                    '@';     $,='['       &'~'         ;$\=
                    ','^     '|'          ;$:=         '.'^
                    '~';      $~=         '@'          |((
                    '('        ));       $^=           ')'
                    ^((         '['     ));            $/=
                    '`'          |((   '.'              ))
                    ;(             ($,))=               ((
                    ((              '('))               ))
                    ^+             "\}";$\=             ((
                   '`'            ))|+ "\!";            $:
                  =((           ')'))^  '}';           $~=
                 '*'|         "\`";$^=   '+'          ^'_'
               ;($/)=                                ('&')|
             "\@";$,=                               '['&'~'

use Time'HiRes"usleep";$|=@q=(a..z,' ');@w=('just another perl hacker'
=~/./g);while("@w"ne"@e"){$e[$_]eq$w[$_]or$e[$_]=$q[rand@q]for+0..$#w;
print"\r@e";usleep+1e5}

animated version :)

Less than 70 character on 3 lines:
$_=unpack("H21","9Ø
HvÂláµöÂ");s/(.)/" "x(hex$1<3).substr
"AHPJocehtunarslk",hex$1,1/eg;say

Care: It's ISO-8859-1 encoded.
perl -E '$_=unpack("H21","9Ø
HvÂláµöÂ");s/(.)/" "x(hex$1<3).substr
"AHPJocehtunarslk",hex$1,1/eg;say'

Just Another Perl Hacker

More than 70 chars at all, but less than 100!
wc -clL <<< '$_=unpack("H21","9Ø
HvÂláµöÂ");s/(.)/" "x(hex$1<3).substr
"AHPJocehtunarslk",hex$1,1/eg;say'

  3 92  37

And a little obfuscated!
A little away?!
There is a <1'000 perl script with a full help and some features:
(It's ISO-8859-1 encoded too ;)
#!/usr/bin/perl -s
$;=$/;$_=q=sub'O{un=."\144e".q[f}sub'l{$#_==-1?leng].q[th:leng].'t'.q[h&a}sub'u{($.=
q;?02:;)=~y+0-@+a-q+;$. =~s/^/&a?"un].q[":""/mxe;$..=' "b';$..=do{$.].q[=~m+^u+?&a:1
}<<3;$..='","';$..=do{$.].q[=~m+^u+?"\44_":&a};eval $.."\42"}s].q[ub'a{pop}sub'b{$.=
"Hauri Félix, ";$v?do{$_=$.;y+?-^+_-~+;].q[s/\s.*/.ch/mgx;$_=do{$0=~m-j\w+-?$&.q.@.:
(q.w.x3).q,.,}.q qf-q].q[.$_;$..$_}:sub].q[str("lockpents ".$.,&a,1)}sub'p{pr]."in".
q<t do{$#_+1?&a."\n":do{/\n/?$_:$_.".\n"}}};sub'x{e>.pack("v",27000).q<t}sub't{sel>.
"ec".q<t O,&O,O,&a};$v&&{p $0." \251".(30*67)." ".b}&&x;$j&&do{$_="Îx¹\26§ÕIÕ\220º".
"2Õ";$_=>.q<u 12,1;s/.{4}/b ord u O,"$&",O/meg;tr+@-[+`-{+;s/./($.=$&)=~y.^-{.?-\\>.
q<\\.;$./xe;p;$c&&do{$c!=1&&do{$_=$c." ";p};fo>."reac".q<h$=(1..2*l){s/.//m;$_.=$&;p
"\33[A\r".$_;t.1}};x};$/=O;o>.chr(0x38*2).q-en$_,$0;$_=<$_>;$k&&p&&x||$p&&do{p;op-.q
len$p,$p;p<$p>;x};$h&&do{$_="Usal.q lge: ".$0." [ -v | -h | -j [-c[=string]] | -k |l
.q+ -p=file.pl ]";p;x};1+;eval||die+No.$;;

There are some features:
./japh.pl -h
Usage: ./japh.pl [ -v | -h | -j [-c[=string]] | -k | -p=file.pl ].

Where:

-v signature
-h help string
-j prompt Just another perl hacker.
-c animate the japh string or a submited string if any
-k dump the script himself
-p polute another script

So:
./japh.pl -j
Just another perl hacker.

./japh.pl -k | wc -lcL
     14     998      84

./japh.pl -p=$(which perldoc) >japhedPerldoc
chmod +x japhedPerldoc

./japhedPerldoc perl | head
PERL(1)               User Contributed Perl Documentation              PERL(1)

NAME
   perl - The Perl 5 language interpreter

SYNOPSIS
       perl [ -sTtuUWX ]      [ -hv ] [ -V[:configvar] ]
            [ -cw ] [ -d[t][:debugger] ] [ -D[number/list] ]

./japhedPerldoc -j -c
Just another perl hacker.

(The last string is animated:)
Trying to de-obfucate
There is a nice B::Deparse module available on CPAN:
perl -MO=Deparse japh.pl
$; = $/;
$_ = qq[sub'O{undef}sub'l{\$#_==-1?length:length&a}sub'u{(\$.=\nq;?02:;)=~y+0-\@+a-q+;\$. =~s/^/&a?"un":""/mxe;\$..=' "b';\$..=do{\$.=~m+^u+?&a:1\n}<<3;\$..='","';\$..=do{\$.=~m+^u+?"\\44_":&a};eval\$.."\\42"}sub'a{pop}sub'b{\$.=\n"Hauri F\351lix, ";\$v?do{\$_=\$.;y+?-^+_-~+;s/\\s.*/.ch/mgx;\$_=do{\$0=~m-j\\w+-?\$&.q.\@.:\n(q.w.x3).q,.,}.q qf-q.\$_;\$..\$_}:substr("lockpents ".\$.,&a,1)}sub'p{print do{\$#_+1?&a."\\n":do{/\\n/?\$_:\$_.".\\n"}}};sub'x{e] . pack('v', 27000) . q[t}sub't{sel] . 'ec' . qq[t O,&O,O,&a};\$v&&{p \$0." \\251".(30*67)." ".b}&&x;\$j&&do{\$_="\316x\271\\26\247\325I\325\\220\272".\n"2\325";\$_=] . 'u 12,1;s/.{4}/b ord u O,"$&",O/meg;tr+@-[+`-{+;s/./($.=$&)=~y.^-{.?-\\' . '\\.;$./xe;p;$c&&do{$c!=1&&do{$_=$c." ";p};fo' . 'reac' . qq(h\$=(1..2*l){s/.//m;\$_.=\$&;p\n"\\33[A\\r".\$_;t.1}};x};\$/=O;o) . 'p' . 'en$_,$0;$_=<$_>;$k&&p&&x||$p&&do{p;op' . 'en$p,$p;p<$p>;x};$h&&do{$_="Usa' . 'ge: ".$0." [ -v | -h | -j [-c[=string]] | -k |' . ' -p=file.pl ]";p;x};1';
die 'No' . $; unless eval $_;
japh.pl syntax OK

Well, this is more readable, but...
Ok, there is a pack('v', 27000), what it mean:
perl -E "say pack('v', 27000)";
xi

Hmm. so we could try to simplify deparser's work:
perl -MO=Deparse <(sed -e <japh.pl 's/pack("v",27000)/"xi"/')
$; = $/;
$_ = qq(sub'O{undef}sub'l{\$#_==-1?length:length&a}sub'u{(\$.=\nq;?02:;)=~y+0-\@+a-q+;\$. =~s/^/&a?"un":""/mxe;\$..=' "b';\$..=do{\$.=~m+^u+?&a:1\n}<<3;\$..='","';\$..=do{\$.=~m+^u+?"\\44_":&a};eval \$.."\\42"}sub'a{pop}sub'b{\$.=\n"Hauri F\351lix, ";\$v?do{\$_=\$.;y+?-^+_-~+;s/\\s.*/.ch/mgx;\$_=do{\$0=~m-j\\w+-?\$&.q.\@.:\n(q.w.x3).q,.,}.q qf-q.\$_;\$..\$_}:substr("lockpents ".\$.,&a,1)}sub'p{print do{\$#_+1?&a."\\n":do{/\\n/?\$_:\$_.".\\n"}}};sub'x{exit}sub't{select O,&O,O,&a};\$v&&{p \$0." \\251".(30*67)." ".b}&&x;\$j&&do{\$_="\316x\271\\26\247\325I\325\\220\272".\n"2\325";\$_=u 12,1;s/.{4}/b ord u O,"\$&",O/meg;tr+\@-[+`-{+;s/./(\$.=\$&)=~y.^-{.?-\\\\.;\$./xe;p;\$c&&do{\$c!=1&&do{\$_=\$c." ";p};foreach\$=(1..2*l){s/.//m;\$_.=\$&;p\n"\\33[A\\r".\$_;t.1}};x};\$/=O;open\$_,\$0;\$_=<\$_>;\$k&&p&&x||\$p&&do{p;open\$p,\$p;p<\$p>;x};\$h&&do{\$_="Usage: ".\$0." [ -v | -h | -j [-c[=string]] | -k | -p=file.pl ]";p;x};1);
die 'No' . $; unless eval $_;
/dev/fd/63 syntax OK

Well, now it is clear that whole script is contained in qq(...) on line 2 and have to be submited to eval. We could now:
perl -MO=Deparse <(sed -e <japh.pl 's/pack("v",27000)/"xi"/') |
    sed -ne 's/$_ = \(qq(.*)\);/print \1/p' |
    perl
/dev/fd/63 syntax OK
sub'O{undef}sub'l{$#_==-1?length:length&a}sub'u{($.=
q;?02:;)=~y+0-@+a-q+;$. =~s/^/&a?"un":""/mxe;$..=' "b';$..=do{$.=~m+^u+?&a:1
}<<3;$..='","';$..=do{$.=~m+^u+?"\44_":&a};eval $.."\42"}sub'a{pop}sub'b{$.=
"Hauri Félix, ";$v?do{$_=$.;y+?-^+_-~+;s/\s.*/.ch/mgx;$_=do{$0=~m-j\w+-?$&.q.@.:
(q.w.x3).q,.,}.q qf-q.$_;$..$_}:substr("lockpents ".$.,&a,1)}sub'p{print do{$#_+1?&a."\n":do{/\n/?$_:$_.".\n"}}};sub'x{exit}sub't{select O,&O,O,&a};$v&&{p $0." \251".(30*67)." ".b}&&x;$j&&do{$_="Îx¹\26§ÕIÕ\220º".
"2Õ";$_=u 12,1;s/.{4}/b ord u O,"$&",O/meg;tr+@-[+`-{+;s/./($.=$&)=~y.^-{.?-\\.;$./xe;p;$c&&do{$c!=1&&do{$_=$c." ";p};foreach$=(1..2*l){s/.//m;$_.=$&;p
"\33[A\r".$_;t.1}};x};$/=O;open$_,$0;$_=<$_>;$k&&p&&x||$p&&do{p;open$p,$p;p<$p>;x};$h&&do{$_="Usage: ".$0." [ -v | -h | -j [-c[=string]] | -k | -p=file.pl ]";p;x};1

In the hope deparser could better understand, now:
perl -MO=Deparse <(sed -e <japh.pl 's/pack("v",27000)/"xi"/') |
    sed -ne 's/$_ = \(qq(.*)\);/print \1/p' |
    perl |
    perl -MO=Deparse
/dev/fd/63 syntax OK
sub O {
    undef;
}
sub l {
    $#_ == -1 ? length $_ : length &a;
}
sub u {
    ($. = '?02:') =~ tr/0-@/a-q/;
    $. =~ s/^/&a ? 'un' : '';/emx;
    $. .= ' "b';
    $. .= do {
        $. =~ /^u/ ? &a : 1
    } << 3;
    $. .= '","';
    $. .= do {
        $. =~ /^u/ ? '$_' : &a
    };
    eval $. . '"';
}
sub a {
    pop();
}
sub b {
    $. = "Hauri F\351lix, ";
    $v ? do {
        $_ = $.;
        tr/?-^/_-~/;
        s/\s.*/.ch/gmx;
        $_ = do {
            $0 =~ /j\w+/ ? $& . '@' : 'w' x 3 . '.'
        } . 'f-' . $_;
        $. . $_
    } : substr('lockpents ' . $., &a, 1);
}
sub p {
    print do {
        $#_ + 1 ? &a . "\n" : do {
            /\n/ ? $_ : $_ . ".\n"
        }
    };
}
sub x {
    exit;
}
sub t {
    select O(), &O, O(), &a;
}
x  if $v and {p($0 . " \251" . 2010 . ' ' . b())};
if ($j) {
    $_ = "\316x\271\cV\247\325I\325\220\2722\325";
    $_ = u(12, 1);
    s/.{4}/b ord u(O(), "$&", O());/egm;
    tr/@-[/`-{/;
    s[.][($. = $&) =~ tr/^-{/?-\\/;
    $.;]ex;
    p ;
    if ($c) {
        if ($c != 1) {
            $_ = $c . ' ';
            p ;
        }
        foreach $= (1 .. 2 * l()) {
            s/.//m;
            $_ .= $&;
            p "\e[A\r" . $_;
            t 0.1;
        }
    }
    x ;
}
$/ = O();
open $_, $0;
$_ = <$_>;
$p and do {
    p ;
    open $p, $p;
    p <$p>;
    x
} unless $k and p  and x ;
if ($h) {
    $_ = 'Usage: ' . $0 . ' [ -v | -h | -j [-c[=string]] | -k | -p=file.pl ]';
    p ;
    x ;
}
'???';
- syntax OK

Well! We got something near readable, now. Do this alway give same result?
perl -MO=Deparse <(sed -e <japh.pl 's/pack("v",27000)/"xi"/') |
    sed -ne 's/$_ = \(qq(.*)\);/print \1/p' |
    perl |
    perl -MO=Deparse |
    perl -s /dev/stdin -j -c="That's all folks"
/dev/fd/63 syntax OK
- syntax OK
Just another perl hacker.
That's all folks .

(And the last line is animated:)

use strict;*1=*CORE'die,*!=*=,@=='hacker',s??'&1(@!,$/)'?ee;s;;%ENV=~m
,..$,,$&+10;e,@!=(chr.'ust',~~reverse('rehtona'),'Perl',$@);&1("@{=}")

It works with strictures enabled. Although it does not work on all machines/perls, because of CORE'die and ~~%ENV.
$ perl
use strict;*1=*CORE'die,*!=*=,@=='hacker',s??'&1(@!,$/)'?ee;s;;%ENV=~m
,..$,,$&+10;e,@!=(chr.'ust',~~reverse('rehtona'),'Perl',$@);&1("@{=}")
^Z
Just another Perl hacker